I can’t remember when or for what, but awhile ago I was looking at a feature that was written up about Funfetti goodies, and a couple of my recipes were featured. I made the mistake of scrolling to the comments section.
Most of the comments featured your standard “looks like a bunch of di-uh-bee-tus” or “mm!”, but then there was one that particularly haunted my soul to the core.
“Sprinkles are disgusting; why does everyone cover desserts in them?”
Ex-squeeze me? I beg your pardon, PLEASE?!
Sprinkles are the antithesis of disgusting. They’re magical, mystical, rainbow entities that not only brighten up a dish literally and figuratively, but they brighten up your soul with their simple happiness. Much like how it’s virtually impossible to shout “BUBBLES” angrily (seriously, try to say the word ‘bubbles’ as angry as possible), it is virtually impossible to pout while eating something sprinkly.
So the fact that the world is populated with a sprinkle-hating alien is absolute pish-posh. We must hunt this person down and drown all of their food with rainbow jimmies as torture.
Anyway, because of that comment I figured a passive-aggressive Funfetti Week would seriously upset that sprinkle-hater (and I’m really hoping he’s the only one; I don’t know if my brain can handle anyone else) but simultaneously elate the masses of sprinkle-lovers in the world. How can you not enjoy sprinkle-smothered food? I ask the real questions, people.
To kick off Funfetti Week, I have the gooiest Funfetti treat that’s possibly ever existed. They’re Funfetti Gooey S’mores Bars, and they’re positively ridic, y’all. While brainstorming recipes for Funfetti Week I realized I’ve never paired Funfetti with marshmallow and chocolate to create a gooey, decadent treat. It was high time that changed, and thus, these insane bars were born.
If you have di-uh-bee-tus or are going to comment something along contracting it, I’d come back next week or kindly click the little ‘X’ at the top right of your screen; this blog isn’t and has never been a health food blog, nor is it a blog that thinks of sprinkles as disgusting. And if that bothers you, your home planet wants you back.
Everyone else: REJOICE! The sprinkles, like the buttery, cake battery flavor and luscious, thick marshmallow and chocolate goo, is plentiful here!
- ¾ cup butter, room temperature
- ½ cup brown sugar
- ½ cup white sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- ½ tsp almond extract
- 1 & ¼ cups all-purpose flour
- 1 & ¼ cups Funfetti cake mix (the dry mix)
- ½ tsp baking soda
- Pinch salt
- ½ cup rainbow sprinkles/jimmies
- 16 Birthday Cake Golden Oreos
- 1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow fluff/creme
- 14 Hershey's Cookies & Creme Mini Chocolate Bars, unwrapped
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8x8" baking pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Spray the foil liberally with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the butter, brown sugar & sugar for about 2 minutes. Beat in the egg, vanilla & almond extracts to combine. Beat in the flour, cake mix, baking soda and salt; dough will be very soft. Stir in the sprinkles by hand.
- Spread HALF of the mixture evenly into the bottom of the pan. Top with the Oreos, arranging four rows by four Oreos. Cover the Oreos with the marshmallow fluff as much as possible.
- Arrange the Hershey's bars across the area of the marshmallow fluff. I did two rows of 6 bars each, and fit in the remaining two bars broken up along the bottom to cover as closely as possible. Top the Hershey bars with the remaining cookie dough.
- Bake for approximately 25-30 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the center is just about set -- do NOT over bake, as the bars will continue to firm up and cook as they cool. Allow the bars to cool COMPLETELY, then refrigerate them briefly for about an hour to firm up. Once firmed, cut into squares and serve!
Oh. Em. Gee. These bars are not for the faint of sprinkle heart. They are SO sweet, SO gooey, SO sprinkly, and SO addictive — even with my fingers smothered in thick, sticky marshmallow goo, I still went back for more! I love the pockets of creamy white chocolate swirled throughout and the crunch from the Golden Oreos nestled in between layers of thick, buttery cookie dough. If you want to cut the sweetness a tad, feel free to use regular milk chocolate Hershey’s bars instead of the white chocolate ones. You could also use the Birthday Cake Oreos instead of the Golden Oreos, but I loved the sweet, golden crunch from the Golden version. Feel free to adjust it to your tastes, but never omit the sprinkles 🙂
Have a fantastical day!!