I can’t remember when or for what, but awhile ago I was looking at a feature that was written up about Funfetti goodies, and a couple of my recipes were featured. I made the mistake of scrolling to the comments section.
Most of the comments featured your standard “looks like a bunch of di-uh-bee-tus” or “mm!”, but then there was one that particularly haunted my soul to the core.
“Sprinkles are disgusting; why does everyone cover desserts in them?”
Ex-squeeze me? I beg your pardon, PLEASE?!
Sprinkles are the antithesis of disgusting. They’re magical, mystical, rainbow entities that not only brighten up a dish literally and figuratively, but they brighten up your soul with their simple happiness. Much like how it’s virtually impossible to shout “BUBBLES” angrily (seriously, try to say the word ‘bubbles’ as angry as possible), it is virtually impossible to pout while eating something sprinkly.
So the fact that the world is populated with a sprinkle-hating alien is absolute pish-posh. We must hunt this person down and drown all of their food with rainbow jimmies as torture.
Anyway, because of that comment I figured a passive-aggressive Funfetti Week would seriously upset that sprinkle-hater (and I’m really hoping he’s the only one; I don’t know if my brain can handle anyone else) but simultaneously elate the masses of sprinkle-lovers in the world. How can you not enjoy sprinkle-smothered food? I ask the real questions, people.
To kick off Funfetti Week, I have the gooiest Funfetti treat that’s possibly ever existed. They’re Funfetti Gooey S’mores Bars, and they’re positively ridic, y’all. While brainstorming recipes for Funfetti Week I realized I’ve never paired Funfetti with marshmallow and chocolate to create a gooey, decadent treat. It was high time that changed, and thus, these insane bars were born.
If you have di-uh-bee-tus or are going to comment something along contracting it, I’d come back next week or kindly click the little ‘X’ at the top right of your screen; this blog isn’t and has never been a health food blog, nor is it a blog that thinks of sprinkles as disgusting. And if that bothers you, your home planet wants you back.
Everyone else: REJOICE! The sprinkles, like the buttery, cake battery flavor and luscious, thick marshmallow and chocolate goo, is plentiful here!
- ¾ cup butter, room temperature
- ½ cup brown sugar
- ½ cup white sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- ½ tsp almond extract
- 1 & ¼ cups all-purpose flour
- 1 & ¼ cups Funfetti cake mix (the dry mix)
- ½ tsp baking soda
- Pinch salt
- ½ cup rainbow sprinkles/jimmies
- 16 Birthday Cake Golden Oreos
- 1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow fluff/creme
- 14 Hershey's Cookies & Creme Mini Chocolate Bars, unwrapped
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8x8" baking pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Spray the foil liberally with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the butter, brown sugar & sugar for about 2 minutes. Beat in the egg, vanilla & almond extracts to combine. Beat in the flour, cake mix, baking soda and salt; dough will be very soft. Stir in the sprinkles by hand.
- Spread HALF of the mixture evenly into the bottom of the pan. Top with the Oreos, arranging four rows by four Oreos. Cover the Oreos with the marshmallow fluff as much as possible.
- Arrange the Hershey's bars across the area of the marshmallow fluff. I did two rows of 6 bars each, and fit in the remaining two bars broken up along the bottom to cover as closely as possible. Top the Hershey bars with the remaining cookie dough.
- Bake for approximately 25-30 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the center is just about set -- do NOT over bake, as the bars will continue to firm up and cook as they cool. Allow the bars to cool COMPLETELY, then refrigerate them briefly for about an hour to firm up. Once firmed, cut into squares and serve!
Oh. Em. Gee. These bars are not for the faint of sprinkle heart. They are SO sweet, SO gooey, SO sprinkly, and SO addictive — even with my fingers smothered in thick, sticky marshmallow goo, I still went back for more! I love the pockets of creamy white chocolate swirled throughout and the crunch from the Golden Oreos nestled in between layers of thick, buttery cookie dough. If you want to cut the sweetness a tad, feel free to use regular milk chocolate Hershey’s bars instead of the white chocolate ones. You could also use the Birthday Cake Oreos instead of the Golden Oreos, but I loved the sweet, golden crunch from the Golden version. Feel free to adjust it to your tastes, but never omit the sprinkles 🙂
Have a fantastical day!!
Mason Canyon says
These are just gooey enough to be yummy. I like the way you can use variations and still have a delicious treat.
Lisa | Sweet 2 Eat Baking says
Sprinkles are disgusting? What the flying eff? They’re made when unicorns happy cry. S/he must be on heck of an unhappy person munching on their caviar and putting a downer on everyone and everything.
I think it’s witch hunt time because that one person deserves to be tied down and blindfold (kinky!) and force fed these gooey bars. That’s show them their whole world perception is wrong because these look amazing. I’m a mahoosive funfetti fan, as you probably already knew anyway. LOVE!
Lisa | Sweet 2 Eat Baking says
Oh gosh, Ignore all the typos too. The giant man-baby is asleep and I’m trying to type quietly, softly hitting the keys which misses some and then auto-correct kicks in! :/
Ali | Gimme Some Oven says
Oh yum — these sound so FUN! 😉 Seriously, cheers to funfetti!
Julianne @ Beyond Frosting says
I love your themed weeks!! Especially when sprinkles are marshmallows are involved!!
Kayle (The Cooking Actress) says
1-you’re hilarious for doing Funfetti week to get back at that commenter! lol
2-omg gooooey s’mores bars! funfetti-style!
3-don’t hate me because I’m not a sprinkles fan. I don’t hate ’em but I sort of feel like they don’t add anything flavor-wise to stuff: however they do add prettiness and happiness, which I can support 😛
Jess @ On Sugar Mountain says
Um, I’m sorry, but that person is obviously an outerspace alien and we need to just amp up sprinkle production immediately to counteract the anti-sprinkle mojo. Also, we all need to scarf down these awesome gooey bars immediately! It’s the only way to ensure sprinkles are truly appreciated. 😀
Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says
If sprinkles are wrong, then there is something wrong with the world. I wish I knew who that person was, I want to send them a huge box, lol.
Renee @ Awesome on $20 says
Some people just don’t know how to have fun. I’m so glad you’re not one of those people. Awesome recipe and awesome post.
These look like a fun recipe to make with the kiddos.
Your girls will LOVE these bars, Carrian! <3