Yesterday I took my sister to a concert and had to stand in line for two hours with a bunch of teenagers with thick black eyeliner and who swore gratuitously. Now, I am an eyeliner-lovin’ fool and I have a mouth like a sailor, but I guess when you’re 15 (and it’s true) you will wear and swear as much as humanly possible when you aren’t near your parents. And apparently wear some questionable clothes that even the most seasoned lady of the night may balk at. But I digress.
While standing in line I had to hear an abundance of lame stories about typical teenage drama mixed with seventeen year olds walking up and down the line asking everyone if they could “bum a smoke” in that scratchy, jaded-teenager voice. Everyone — even if they tried so hard to hide it — looked super excited to see the bands and I had a weird flashback of when I was seventeen and enjoyed going to concerts, staying out late and wearing fifty pounds of eyeliner for fun.
Now my idea of fun is totally boring to the average human who doesn’t want to spend the rest of their life watching Criminal Minds reruns on Ion Television (but if that is your idea of fun, call me *wink*). I don’t do clubs because they’re too loud, too crowded and too swarmed with men who spend more time getting ready than I do. Also, clubs remind me of Jersey Shore which reminds me that being in the same vicinity of people like that will probably up my chances of dying of a fatal case of herpes by 26.
I also dislike the movies for multiple reasons, mainly because my rage bubbles over like a fountain of hatred when I hear people talking during the film, and because going to the movies has to be the lamest date ever. I mean, how am I supposed to get to know someone if we’re silent for two hours? My only judgment is basically based on what kind of candy they choose and wow, he is willing to donate his right lung for a box of stale Sour Patch Kids?
And then there’s the adventure-seeking kinda places like Lazer Tag and Mini Golf. I would totally do that except for the fact that spending time with a bunch of 11 year old boys running around in glow-in-the-dark hunting gear isn’t usually my idea of a fun time, and also because there’s this really scary miniature golf course by my house that I’m pretty sure houses homeless people, nuclear weaponry, or at least some roadkill carcasses. I think it was built shortly before the war of 1812 because the last time I was there, I swung a normal golf-y swing at my ball and it created a 6-foot fissure along that course into the scary Hansel-and-Gretel-looking mini house that ate our balls (ha, ha) and never returned them. Also because the prizes in the arcade were weird things like a jack in the box which hasn’t been the top toy since approximately 1900.
So I bet you’re wondering ‘well, what does this old hag like to do for “fun” since she seems to avoid all things pleasant like the bubonic plague.” And to that I say: Criminal Minds marathons. Making huuuuuuge cups of sprinkle-infested frozen yogurt. Nature walks. Smothering animals with kisses and baby noises. Food — OBVIOUSLY. And I’m not a total crust because I also love to bowl. I don’t know why, but whenever the prospect of bowling is involved I get super jazzed. Like, “OMG WE’RE GOING BOWLING?! YESS!!! CAN WE DO UNLIMITED GAMES?! CAN WE STAY FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS?!” like I’ve never been to a bowling alley before. And usually bowling alleys are filled with homeless people, 11 year olds and probably nuclear weaponry, because no one would suspect nukes hiding underneath some dilapidated snack bar that serves cold chili cheese fries to people clearly tweaking on some kind of illegal substance. It’s the perfect place!!
Anyway, I also enjoy celebrating being alive [sometimes] in a world that consists of haunted golf courses and teenage boys wearing more eyeliner than your standard drag queen. And the perfect way to celebrate life as we know it is by stuffing face senselessly with some Birthday Cake Blondie Bombs! What in the world is this concoction? Bassssically the best thing ever, but if that doesn’t clear it up for you: it’s a cake pop smothered in a chewy blondie, then coated in white chocolate and plenty of sprinkles, aka, the best thing ever. This is for all you party people (and poopers!) because this bomb doesn’t discriminate — it’s fun and tasty for everyone!
- 2 sticks butter, melted
- 2 cups brown sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp salt
- 12 cake balls/cake pops, prepared (you can make your own of course, or you can buy premade cake pops/cake balls. I found some frozen vanilla cake balls at Walmart and used these)
- 1 pkg Vanilla Candiquik
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 13×9″ baking pan with cooking spray and set aside.
- In a large bowl, stir together the melted butter and brown sugar until combined. Stir in the eggs, one at a time, followed by the vanilla extract until combined. Lastly, gradually add the flour, baking soda and salt until a soft dough forms.
- Spread the dough evenly into the prepared pan and bake for approx. 20 minutes or until the edges begin to slightly pull away from the pan and the center is light brown and appears set. Cool completely.
- Cut the blondies into about 1-2″ squares and flatten them with the heel of your hand carefully. Wrap each blondie around a cake pop and roll it in your hands to help seal the blondie around the cake pop, pinching any gaps to seal. Place the blondie bombs onto a foil-lined baking sheet. Repeat with remaining cake pops/blondies. You should have 12 bombs with some remaining blondies to eat — yay!
- Freeze the blondie bombs for about 30 minutes to set. While the bombs are setting, melt the Candiquik per package directions. Dip the bombs into the white chocolate allowing excess to drip off. Immediately sprinkle with jimmies, if you’d like. Serve!
If you love birthday cake, these are officially your new favorite brownie bombs! Soft, moist cake pops rolled into chewy, brown-sugary blondies and coated in creamy white chocolate — it tastes just like cake in a delectable, adorable brownie bomb form! I love that this recipe calls for prepared cake pops because that makes these so much easier to whip up than making your own cake pops. There’s nothing I loathe more than all the baking, crumbling, mixing and rolling, so using something prepared and ready to jazz up makes this recipe come together in a snap! Plus, the homemade blondie recipe is stunningly delicious. You guys will love it and be so glad there’s a few leftover squares
Want more bomb-diggity Brownie Bomb recipes? Look no further! I am the original creator of these tasty, unique treats!
And for more Brownie Bomb recipes, navigate to the top of my page, hover over “Recipe Index” and select “Brownie Bombs.”
Have a fantastical day!!