You see, I have these friends on Instagram. We went to school together and they’re really nice. Some of them had a baby awhile ago, and trust me, I know they had a baby because that is ALL THEY POST.
Like, all the time.
I’m not even joking you. Constant bombardment of baby pictures daily, hourly, minutely. I wish I were kidding.
Pictures of her baby breathing. Pictures of her baby sleeping. Pictures of her baby rolling, kicking, crying, blinking, mid-blinking, mid-breathing, giggling, eating, drinking, staring, being a baby, pictures of everything related to the baby. Pictures of the baby’s clothes. Of its toys. Of its room. Of it and everything the baby has touched. Constant influx of pictures, pictures, and more freakin’ pictures.
It’s to the point where, no matter what time of day I scroll through IG, I see at least 10 posts from her and her baby. More pictures of the same damn baby.
I get it. You cheated death by birthing a human from your body. I’m sure it was glorious and angels sang in the midst of your sweating and pushing. Congrats. And I’m sure that you’re proud of this entity that you’ve created and want to shout from the rooftops that you love your child. But honestly? Not everyone wants to see incessant photos of your baby mid-blink with the caption “Blinking! <3”
I know what a baby looks like when it blinks. Is it the cutest thing in the world? No. Do my ovaries explode when I see no less than 5,457,358 baby pictures on Instagram? Certainly not. In fact, it’s more like birth control, because if I ever end up as a mom like that, I want someone to dropkick my eyeballs with stilettos.
And I’m in this pickle because I like these people enough but dammit, those baby pictures are clogging my feed and honestly making me snappy. I shouldn’t want to call Instagram and have them ban this woman’s account. I shouldn’t want to scroll extra fast past this baby’s poor face. I shouldn’t want to have to unfollow my friends but damn, they sure make it hard.
So there’s my pickle. And in pickles, I tend to conquer my fears by eating them. Tomato, tomahto.
The idea for these No-Bake Texas Sheetcake Bites came to me when I was craving sheetcake frosting but didn’t want to turn the oven on since it’s been 100 degrees here lately. I was trying to think of a vessel I could slather that heavenly, sugary frosting on besides a spoon, and brownie bites came to mind – you know, the ones from the store bakery? Those are the perfect, poppable vessel for holding this substantial, chocolaty frosting.
And don’t worry. I’ll only Instagram this once.
- About 30 pre-made, packaged brownie bites (find these in your local grocery store's bakery)
- ½ cup unsalted butter
- 5 Tbsp cocoa powder
- 5 Tbsp milk or heavy cream
- 4 cups powdered sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- About 1 cup chopped pecan pieces
- Line up the brownie bites onto a large rimmed sheet pan in an even layer. Set aside.
- In a large saucepan, melt together the butter, cocoa powder, and milk over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until it comes to a boil. Immediately remove from the heat and stir in the powdered sugar and vanilla until a glossy, thick frosting is achieved. Stir in the pecans quickly.
- Drop heaping Tablespoonfuls of frosting on top of each brownie bite. It's okay if the frosting falls down the sides of the brownie bite; these are not pretty desserts but they are tasty! Allow the frosting to harden and set for about 20-30 minutes before serving. Store leftovers airtight at room temperature for up to 5 days.
I mean, are these heavenly or are they heavenly? Simply amazing! I love the classic sheetcake frosting: it’s ultra rich, super chocolaty and buttery soft. Plus, the salty crunch of the pecans is just perfect against these tiny, fudgy brownie bites. The perfect bite for days when turning on the oven isn’t an option!