Thick & Chewy Monster Cookies – not just for monsters.
So I have a bone to pick real quick. If you’re not up for a good old-fashioned bone pickin’, scroll down to the recipe and I’ll catch up with ya later.
I was in the book store yesterday, specifically in the coffee shop inside. I was ordering my drink when an older woman came into the cafe. She took one look at me – clad in a floral 50’s style dress, flats, and my tattoos on full display – and made a face. Not a good face, but a face. You know the face. She was in line, but refused to come near me – she stood far enough away that another woman cut her in line and she didn’t even say anything because she was so busy staring at me.
I glanced her way and gave her a smile, but she refused to change her expression. It was like a mixture of annoyance, disapproval and a certain je ne sais quoi that I couldn’t place because I am not crotchety. Most days, anyway. 🙂
Once I received my drink, I had to walk past her to get to the door. She literally backed up into the bakery case with her hands up like I was holding her hostage… or like I was a flea-ridden chipmunk with the plague*. I kind of breezed past her, unsure of why she was putting her hands up like I was a cop about to arrest her.
I get that face and reaction often. It comes from every walk of life, but usually older folks. And I can understand if I think really hard about it – tattoos can be menacing in their own confounding way. If you see someone with a tattoo – no matter what the subject matter is – it can often come across as aggressive, like we’re part of this gang that non-tattooed people don’t know about.
I suppose you could make the case that back in their day, only the friendly neighborhood criminal had tattoos, and they were usually faded badges from assorted military branches or pin-up girls. Bad boys had tattoos. I get it.
But maybe – just maybe – I can get all the tattoo naysayers to change their tune with this post. Because your sour expressions, your sighs of disapproval, your hostile body language – it hurts my feelings. Do I go home and cry about the old lady who made a face about my tats? No. I’ll forget about it tomorrow, most likely, when I have more pressing things to think about, like taxes and if I should order chicken McNuggets or a sandwich. But in that moment, seen and treated like I’m some kind of social pariah – it’s not fair. It’s not fun. And it’s completely unnecessary.
I have a lollipop tattoo on my leg. A freaking LOLLIPOP. If I’m in any kind of gang, it’s the Lollipop Guild with those triplet munchkins from The Wizard of Oz… which actually would be a pretty badass gig. Who can I contact about that?
What I’m trying to say in a really roundabout way is, don’t judge a book by its cover. I may have tattoos and wear tutus and have wacky glasses, but I’m harmless. I will say hello to anyone and everyone and talk to you about your day. I compliment nearly everyone I meet, and they come from the heart. I hope to brighten as many people’s days as I possibly can. And I do it all with my tattoos proudly displayed in public for everyone to see. The disapproving glances I receive are unwarranted – it’s not like I can return my tattoos or change the fact that I have them, so why give me a hard time? And why is my body cause for YOUR concern? But that’s a tad political and we don’t talk about that kinda stuff on a dessert blog.
And anyway, there are plenty of bad people out there who do deserve your nasty glares. Al Capone didn’t have tattoos, and it’s not like he was a stand-up dude that you’d bring home to mom and dad. But a girl in a swing dress with a donut on her leg? Probably not a criminal or someone you need to treat as if she’s a chipmunk with the bubonic plague.**
I’m so glad we’re on the same page!
So let me brief ya real quick on these cookies – they’re fat. They’re chewy. They’re soft. And they’re fully loaded with all this wonderful goodness, like chocolate chips, peanut butter, oats and miniature M&M’s candies. And I could not stop eating them, so there’s that.
Do yourself a flava and make ’em!
- ½ cup (1 stick) butter, softened to room temperature
- ½ cup creamy peanut butter
- ¾ cup brown sugar
- ¼ cup white sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 2 tsp cornstarch
- 1 & ½ cups all-purpose flour
- 1 cup old-fashioned oats
- 1 cup miniature M&M's candies
- 1 cup semi-sweet or dark chocolate chips
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the butter and peanut butter until smooth. Add in the brown sugar & sugar, creaming together until combined. Add in the eggs and vanilla, beating well. Then add in the baking soda, cornstarch and flour, mixing until combined. Mix in the oats, M&M's and chocolate chips last until just combined.
- Cover and refrigerate dough for at LEAST 1 hour, up to overnight.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment or silicone liners, or spray lightly with cooking spray. Drop heaping ¼ cup-sized balls of dough onto the baking sheets, about 2-3" apart. Bake for approx. 12-14 minutes, rotating pans halfway through baking time to ensure even cooking. Cookies may appear slightly undone in the center; this is normal and they'll continue to set as they cool. Cool on the racks. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Gooey, chewy, soft and bursting with salty peanut butter, rich chocolate and crunchy M&M’s, this cookie is called a Monster cookie for a reason!
Have a super sweet day!
*real life: there is a flea-ridden chipmunk with the plague nearby my house. Apparently this is “normal.” I think it’s the government’s way of telling us that the apocalypse is coming.
**it bears mentioning twice because HOW is a chipmunk with the plague “normal”!? Like, why are we not alarmed that a small, cute, Snow-White creature has the BUBONIC PLAGUE? This is madness.