Not like the worst at driving, but the worst at driving patiently.
I am the most impatient driver in all the land is more accurate.
And patience? I have none.
Like, whenever I see someone texting and driving, I freak out. I want to scare them so bad to make them not text and drive anymore, so I’m thinking of making a gigantic dummy filled with newspaper or bubble wrap and throwing it in front of their car when they least expect it. That should give ’em a good scare, right?
And when I know they’re texting in front of me, I become a living, breathing devil woman. If the light turns green and there’s any pause no matter how small, I’ll honk at them. If I can tell they’re texting while driving because they break every 15 seconds, I’ll honk at them and flip them off. And bear in mind that none of this is done quietly, as I am usually screaming obscenities and wishing ill on them while driving too.
On a quick two mile jaunt to the store, at least five drivers are called idiots – or worse – by my mouth. I am the road rage driver, and I fully admit to it.
But my least favorite offense while driving? People not pulling up to the line, to the next car, whatever. When there’s a car’s-length space in between cars, it drives me bananas. BANANAS, PEOPLE. I’ll scream and beat my steering wheel and if possible, I’ll swoop in front of them. I want them to get mad – at themselves – for leaving such a huge space that someone swooped in front of them. I want to be that asshole. Because if it teaches someone a lesson on how to not be a crappy driver, then I am willing to be honked at and considered a jerk.
So the moral of the story is, I like driving alone because my road rage is intolerable to other people, and it worries my mom that I honk my horn so much. She thinks I’m going to piss off the wrong person and they’ll pull a gun on me and shoot me through my drivers window, but I say, bring it on, homeboy. Believe me, my road rage is much scarier than any weapon.
Oh, and it should go without saying that while my road rage may be stark-raving mad, it doesn’t mean I’m an unsafe driver. I keep my eyes on the road at all times, am hyper-aware of my surroundings, and never text and drive. I’m just vocal. And if you leave a gigantic, inconvenient-to-everyone-else-sized gap in between your car and the next, chances are I’m going to swoop in to prove you a point. So don’t shoot me 🙂
Anyway, let’s talk about these No-Bake Peppermint Mocha Brownies. They’re my new favorite treat for the holiday season! Chewy, ultra fudgy and topped with a smooth-as-silk chocolate ganache, they’re the perfect accompaniment to your holiday baking tray or cookie exchange party. I couldn’t get over how fudgy they are!
Best of all, they’re no-bake, which means you can save your oven space for something else. I know how precious oven space is around this time of year 😉
They’ll make you go mad – in a good way!
No-Bake Peppermint Mocha Brownies
- 1/2 cup evaporated milk
- 1 Tbsp espresso or instant coffee crystals
- 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips divided
- 1 cup marshmallow creme
- 1 (15.25 oz pkg) Oreo cookies finely crushed into crumbs
- 1 cup powdered sugar
- 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
- About 1 cup crushed candy cane pieces
- Line an 8 or 9-inch pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Grease the foil lightly with cooking spray and set aside.
- In a small saucepan, heat the evaporated milk and espresso over medium-low heat, or until coffee is dissolved. Stir in ONE (1) cup of the semi-sweet chocolate chips and the marshmallow creme. Cook and stir until melted and smooth; remove from heat and pour into a large bowl. Add the cookie crumbs and powdered sugar and stir until combined.
- Press into the prepared pan in an even layer, spreading to edges of pan. Set aside.
- In a large, microwaveable bowl, combine the remaining semi-sweet chocolate chips and heavy cream and microwave for about 1 minute, stirring until chips are melted. Pour ganache over the bars and spread in an even layer. Top with crushed candy canes and refrigerate for about 1-2 hours or until set. Cut into bars and serve. Store in the fridge up to one week, covered.