Lately, I’ve been sent Anthropologie catalogs up the wazoo.
I don’t even know how I got on their mailing list since the only things I’ve ever purchased there were $8 ramekins. That’s all my measly budget affords at a store like Anthro.
Yet I get catalog after catalog, and each one has clothing I don’t understand. Artisan wool sweaters and organically-harvested suede skirts from Italy and $300 boots made from ethically-sourced calf leather or whatever.
It’s like everything in that catalog has to sound as pretentious as possible, you know? I can only imagine what the people who wear some of the stuff are like.
“Oh hey, Jennifer, I like your skirt. Where’d you get it?”
“Oh, hello Crystal. I purchased this at Anthropologie. It’s organically grown wombat fur from the beaches of Cape Town. It goes perfectly with my Whole Foods green juice and my ethically-harvested, organic-meat-fed calf hair boots.”
“That’s cool. I just buy their ramekins because they’re cute and $8. Ain’t nobody got time for wombats.”
I mean, that’s how I’d imagine a sample conversation to go. Hypothetically.
Anywho. Anthro is cool for dishes and housewares, and they do sometimes have really cute clothes that I could never afford in a gillion years. Also, they don’t carry my size because all of their customers are petite pixies that flutter around in $300 dresses made of silk, so my options are pretty much limited to wearing a shower curtain or trying my luck with a duvet cover. However, when you try to try on a duvet cover in their dressing rooms, the hipster girl working the fitting room area looks at you strange and refuses to help you additionally because why would that woman be trying on a duvet cover? Meanwhile, I’m wondering why they don’t pay the silk worms to silk something into a size 16, amirite? Because surely silk worms can silk an additional couple feet of fabric to create a pixie dress for someone of a curvier stature, right? RIGHT, ORGANIC, ETHICALLY-WORKED, UNIONIZED SILK WORMS?!
Or something like that.
You wanna know what isn’t pretentious? Donut holes. Because I spelled it ‘donut’ as opposed to ‘doughnut’ which lends the feeling that someone spent hours creating an artisanal donut in a flavor like green tea jasmine or hibiscus flower earl grey lime or whatever the hell hipster doughnut makers make.
These donut holes are made in minutes, dredged in an intoxicatingly awesome cinnamon sugar blend, and taste like fall, thanks to the heavy use of pumpkin, maple, and special blend of spices. Spices I guarantee you have in your pantry and won’t have to spend $2347687 on at the artisan grocery store that only sells jams made by monks or whatever.
Anywho. Pretty please make these donuts?! You won’t regret it. I promise.
*adapted from my Apple Cider Donut Holes recipe
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- ½ cup white sugar
- ¼ cup brown sugar
- 2 tsp baking powder
- Pinch salt
- 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
- ½ cup pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)
- ¼ cup maple syrup
- 2 eggs, beaten
- 3 Tbsp oil
- 1 tsp vanilla
- ¼ cup melted butter
- About ½ cup cinnamon sugar blend
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Liberally grease a 24-cavity donut hole pan or mini muffin pan with cooking spray and set aside.
- Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugars, baking powder, salt and pumpkin pie spice until blended. Stir in the pumpkin, maple syrup, beaten eggs, oil and vanilla until just barely combined. Batter will still be lumpy; this is okay. Do not overmix.
- Portion Tablespoonfuls of dough evenly among the muffin pan or donut pan. Bake for approx. 8-10 minutes or until donuts spring back lightly when touched. Cool in the pan for about 5 minutes before inverting to a wire rack.
- Once cool enough to handle, brush all sides of the donut holes with the melted butter, and immediately dredge in the cinnamon sugar mixture. Place on the wire rack to set, about 5 minutes. Serve immediately.
Maple-y, pumpkin-y, spicy and fall-inspired… these donut holes will soon become your new favorite! I sure do love fall baking 🙂
Have a super sweet day!
xo, Hayley
Donut holes are far from pretentious. They love and appreciate you no matter what! 😉
Amen sista!
YESSS all of those are my thoughts on Anthro, too, lol!
and yes yay for unpretentious donut holes!
Glad we’re on the same page here! 🙂 Lol!
Looks delicious and definitely not pretentious!
Thanks Laura!
I get my wombat skirts at Ross… much cheaper. LOL! These donuts holes look outstanding!
Thanks so much Nicole! 🙂
OMG. Dying. This post is HILARIOUS! I will be enjoying these donut holes while looking at my Target ads not doughnut holes and looking at my anthro magazines 🙂
Haha thanks Julie!
These look too yummy! So, a question: I have an Ebelsciver pan…..would this work for the donut holes? It makes round balls….just seems like it would do. What do you think?
Joanie, it should work!
So I only have a regular donut pan not a donut hole pan. Do I have to alter the recipe in any way?
Extend the baking time by a couple minutes. Donuts will spring back lightly when touched. 🙂
Awesome! I’ll get started on them right now, can’t wait!
Thanks Zoe! Enjoy!
That leftover pumpkin puree I have in the fridge from last week’s Pumpkin Crumble is now calling to me, for use in this recipe. Yum!
LOL about Anthro. Reminds me of the J. Jill catalogs I get. The models spend their existence sitting on the beach, taking picnic lunches, or otherwise looking blissful yet active and energetic. They are all 6′ tall, have thinner thighs than I did as a 4-year-old, teeny little ankles, high-arched feet, and perfect long hair. I am about 5’6″, have thighs that look like a combo of cottage cheese and Play-Doh, “sturdy” ankles befitting my sturdy German heritage, and somewhat flat feet. (I do have pretty nice hair, though.)
Who are these women, how do they genetically exist (cuz they’re freakishly lacking in flaws), WHY do they exist (other than to torture us mere mortals), and can they please grow an imperfection somewhere?
Liz, I am SO with you! The freakishly perfect model thing has to end. That’s why I love ads from Lane Bryant and Torrid. Finally, gorgeous gals who look like me! Well… maybe not *exactly* like me, but you get my drift 🙂