I went to a new place close to my house because I don’t really have a place near me that I’ve been loyal to. In fact, I don’t get massages often at all (and certainly not as often as I’d like!), so I randomly decided to show up at this place.
When I went in, I told the therapist I wanted a deep pressure since I’ve found most pressures are too light for me. So you can imagine my grimace when the therapist tore into me. I mean, homeboy was basically massaging my skeleton (and I’m no skinny girl) he was so deep. I could actually feel my muscles screaming.
So of course, I asked him to go lighter. But he didn’t speak English very well and instead he said “deep pressure today, lighter pressure next time.” Um?
So the entire time I laid there grimacing in pain while he worked out the gigantic knots underneath my skin. It wasn’t even a “hurts so good” pain – it just hurt. And a couple times as he tried to navigate my ponytail, he pulled my hair. It felt like what I used to do to my Barbie dolls: hold them by the hair and spin them around and around, launching them into the wall or a tree trunk. I was an evil Barbie player.
After emerging from the room with my hair mussed and my muscles sorer than if I’d just fought an MMA fighter, it was time to pay. Except I made the mistake of going to one of those places that has monthly subscription services and thus began being berated by a very passionate receptionist about purchasing a program. It was one of those situations where I suddenly felt more anxious than I had when I walked through the door in the first place.
All in all? I probably won’t return, and I feel like I just drove my upper body into a brick wall which is not the serenity I was hoping for. Actually, it was the exact opposite of what I was hoping for. And now I need another massage already.
Anywho. It was all okay in the end because I was able to come home and eat my pain away via this Best Ever Texas Sheetcake. This stuff is insanely good! Super chocolaty, packed with flavor, moist and buttery. Plus, the sheetcake frosting is AMAZING. You guys will want to shovel it in with a spork, I tell ya.
Make it. And then get yourself a massage as a reward for making it.
*very slightly adapted from Allrecipes
- FOR THE CAKE:
- 1 cup butter, cut into pieces
- 1 cup water
- 1/4 cup cocoa powder
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 cups sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 cup sour cream (I used full-fat)
- 1 Tbsp vanilla
- 1 tsp baking soda
- Pinch salt
- FOR FROSTING:
- 1/2 cup butter
- 5 Tbsp cocoa powder
- 5 Tbsp milk
- 4 cups powdered sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla
- About 1 cup chopped pecans
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Liberally grease a 15×10″ jelly roll pan with cooking spray. Set aside.
- Bring butter, water and cocoa powder to a boil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring until melted and smooth. Remove from heat and add in the sugar and flour, mixing well. Lastly, add in the remaining cake ingredients until blended. Do not over-mix.
- Pour the mixture into the prepared pan and bake for approx. 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean or with moist crumbs. Set aside.
- Meanwhile, while cake partially cools, prepare your frosting. In another large saucepan, melt together the butter, cocoa powder and milk. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, then remove from heat and add in the powdered sugar, vanilla and chopped pecans. Working quickly, pour the frosting over top of the warm cake, spreading into an even layer. Allow the frosting and cake to cool before cutting into slices.
Have a sweet day!