I haven’t heard anything yet — but I’m hopeful, and if nothing else, SO glad I did it!
Anywho, while I was in the waiting room with the other hopefuls, I met an interesting breed of foodies: The Foodie One-Uppers.
This breed of foodies is much like any breed of foodies–they talk incessantly about food, they dream about food, their lives are centered around food. However, they have a genetic deformity which causes them to prattle on and on and onnnnn about how much better they are than anyone else. They are the foodiest of foodies and they will stop at noooothing to make sure you know that.
As I was nervously waiting my turn to audition, I couldn’t help but hear the foodie one-upping that was engulfing the room. I’m sorry, but listening to two super healthy, gluten-free foodies one-up each other is probably the reason why Vincent Van Gogh lopped off his own ear as I certainly debated doing the same.
“Our bakery uses a special, locally-made rice flour.”
“Well OUR bakery uses a special, locally-made rice flour that’s all organic.”
“Oh yeah? Well OURS is organic, too, AND non-GMO.”
“Well.. yeah, ours is non-GMO, too, AND it’s cruelty free.”
“Yeah, not only is ours cruelty-free as well, but it also cures cancer.”
I never really thought two people could and would one-up each other so hard over rice flour.
“Have you ever made a quinoa brittle?”
“Okay, well one time I made a quinoa brittle that was free of QUINOA!!”
“Oh really? Because one time I made a quinoa-free quinoa brittle that had super powers.”
“That’s cute, because my super-power quinoa-but-not-really-quinoa-brittle transforms into a robot on command.”
I kept having to remind myself that they were bickering over quinoa. No offense to that circular grain but, you really are not all that and a bag of chips. And I would never fight over you.
“Where I’m from, my bakery is extremely popular among the gluten-free people. It’s been featured in magazines and local papers a bunch of times.”
“That’s nice. Where I live, my restaurant has been featured on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives.”
“Oh yeah? Well my bakery has been featured on Cupcake Wars… and I won.”
“Oh, you won Cupcake Wars? That’s cute. I won Iron Chef.”
“That’s nice, but I actually won Extreme Iron Chef, which is when the Iron Chefs have to cook with no utensils and use cruelty-free, vegan quinoa to make brittle in 118 degree weather.”
“How interesting! Except I won Extreme Iron Chef AND I was recognized by the President.”
I couldn’t wait to get out of that room and as far away from Foodie One-Uppers as humanly possible. And I pretty pretty promise you that when I win Food Network Star and eventually get my own show, I neeeeever will Foodie One-Up anyone. OR make quinoa brittle because ain’t nobody got time for that.
I will, however, make sinfully delicious bark that tastes identical to a 100 Grand candy bar because that’s what cool people do. AND because I am seriously convinced that this bark DOES have magical powers.
Take a bite… and then tell Bob and Suzie that I need my own show already, sheeeeeeesh.
- 3 cups Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 pkg white chocolate chips
- 1 pkg Kraft caramel bits
- 2 tsp milk
- About 6 miniature 100 Grand candy bars, roughly chopped
- 1 square baking chocolate, melted
- Line a rimmed baking sheet with wax paper or a Silpat liner; set aside. Meanwhile, melt white chocolate chips over a double boiler until smooth and melted. Pour the white chocolate mixture into a large bowl and gently stir in the cereal to coat.
- Spread the krispy bark in an even layer onto the prepared baking sheet, pressing down to compact it if necessary. This is easy if you use greased hands. Let stand.
- Melt the caramel in a microwaveable bowl until smooth and melted, adding the milk if necessary to help thin out the caramel. Spread the melted caramel on top of the bark and smooth it out to the edges to cover the entire plane.
- Top the caramel layer with the chopped 100 Grand candies. Drizzle the top with the melted chocolate. Let the bark stand at room temperature for about 30 minutes before cutting into squares.
*recipe adapted from Bridget
This bark is such a fun and unique treat to serve up 100 Grand candy bars! Since 100 Grands are made with crispy cereal, caramel and chocolate, this is the perfect combination to recreate this classic candy. If you’re a super chocolate fan, feel free to use semi-sweet chocolate chips instead of the white chocolate. Or to make this bark more sweet and salty, try substituting peanut butter chips in for the white chips. I don’t know about you, but peanut butter and caramel together = to diiiiie for.
Have a delicious day!!