Let’s talk embarrassing moments, shall we?
Contrary to the fact that my cheeks flush a tomato red 50% of the day, I’m not really embarrassed by much. I have that ability to laugh off something mortifying or crack a self-deprecating joke without feeling like I need to crawl into a hole and go into Witness Protection.
I mean, everyone eventually walks out of a bathroom with toilet paper on their shoe, shoots snot from their nose while sneezing, trips in front of a hot person, or makes an inappropriate sexual innuendo at some point in their life, right?
(Or am I just a walking target for humiliation, especially on the latter of that list?)
However, there came a time in my life where even the most self-deprecating joke couldn’t be cracked. Where even the deepest hole couldn’t possibly be deep enough. When even Witness Protection looked at me and chuckled, “I’m afraid you’re screwed.”
And it was on live television.
SOOOOOO. A couple years ago, my mom had the day off and instantly, whenever my mom has a day off, I want a day off too. Because everyone knows that when moms have free time, they automatically do fun stuff like get pedicures or go shopping or take you out to lunch (or is that just my mom?) It also happened to be the day the new Sephora store was opening in our local mall.
Supposedly, the first 100 people in line for the grand opening would receive mystery gift cards containing anywhere from $10-500 or something like that. And that was basically plenty incentive for me to call into work, cough into the receiver, and complain I was too sick to come in that day. Meanwhile, I was feverishly getting dressed and jumping into the car to head to the mall and get in line.
So Mom and I were first in line for Sephora. We were minding our own business when suddenly, a camera appeared out of the corner of my eye. And the perky newslady from our local station was approaching us. Maaaaybe it was because my Mom and I had been standing there for several hours, or maybe it was because I was hot and itchy in this ill-fitting blue sweater, or maybe it was because I had called in sick to work and even though I actually was ill and had a scratchy voice, I don’t think my boss would approve of me on live TV standing in line for a store opening when I was supposed to be nursing my cold.
But whatever the reasons were, I had no time to think before her microphone was shoved in my face and she asked, “why are you SO excited for Sephora to open up in the mall?!”
This was it. Life or death. There was a mike in my face and the whole world (okay, all of the Sacramento area) was watching. ME. My face. But it’s cool, because I’ve always been pretty good on my toes, and I figured I could swing this. I opened my mouth and out came a weird, scratchy frog voice:
“I am SO excited for Sephora to be in the Galleria because it’s amazing! It’s a makeup mayhem!!”
And that was it. I did it. I said “makeup MAYHEM” on live TV. While sounding like a beast. While pretending to be sick from work. While wearing a gross sweater.
Nooooot even the right word, Hayley. Good job.
Hoping I could recover from sounding like a croaky, scratchedy, illiterate beast on TV, I prayed no one watched the news. However, when I visited my Facebook page a little later, I didn’t escape fame unscathed. Ohhhh no, there were plenty of remarks from friends and family talking about my appearance on the news. And my voice. And my, er, choice of words.
Okay. So I know that this isn’t the most embarrassing thing ever, and I’m sure some of you are reading this like, “she thinks THAT is embarrassing? Girl ain’t seen nothing yet“, but the culmination of guilt, a bad choice of sweater, sounding like if Dobby had a frog in this throat AND saying “makeup mayhem” on live television just kind of set me up for embarrassment fo lyfe.
I kinda just wanted to dive into a deep pool of Toffee Snickerdoodle Dip, so I kinda sorta did. Yeah, okay, I did so YEARS later .. but still, it made me feel better 🙂
This dip is insanity, people! It tastes like a snickerdoodle cheesecake, swirled with little buttery toffee studs throughout its creamy, ooey goodness. Literally addictive! And it makes for the perfect hiding spot after something particularly mortifying.
Toffee Snickerdoodle Dip *dip base from Something Swanky
- 1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened to room temperature
- ½ cup butter, softened
- 3 Tbsp brown sugar
- 1 cup powdered sugar
- 1 & ½ tsp vanilla extract
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- 1-2 tsp sugar (for taste)
- About ½ cup crushed toffee bits, plus more for garnish
- In a medium bowl, beat together the cream cheese and butter with an electric mixer until creamy. Beat in the brown sugar and vanilla to combine. Lastly, add in the powdered sugar, ½ cup at a time, until the dip is creamy and smooth. Stir in the cinnamon, sugar, and toffee bits by hand.
- Pour the dip into a decorative bowl and garnish with additional cinnamon sugar and toffee bits, if desired. Serve with sliced fruit (apples are perfect!), cookies, crackers, or a spoon!
I love how warm and cozy this dip is — snickerdoodles are the ultimate comfort cookie, aren’t they?! The cinnamon and sugar swirled throughout this tangy, creamy cheesecake dip is superb. And I love the little crunchy bits of buttery toffee. They add that perfect contrast in texture with a nice little crunch. You’ll love this dip!
Have a delicious day!