My entire life as Hayley, I have been hell-bent on always helping the underdog, upholding justice, standing up for what is right and tearing down what’s wrong. While this sounds really Joan-of-Arc-y and admirable, it usually just means I stir up trouble in lame minor situations and don’t actually crusade for the mass population or save lives or anything. Sorry to get your hopes up.
More than likely, it most commonly occurs in my current workplace, wherever and whatever that may be. I have a knack for working with a handful of ridiculous people at every job I’ve been employed at and thus have a special honing skill to right the wrongs the workforce does.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those ninnies who tattles on people for unnecessary things. And I’m not one to nitpick every. little. thing. But if something SUPER irks me, or especially if it interferes with my productivity or efficiency, you bet your bottom dollah I am gonna say something to stand up for myself — and for who I like to believe are other shy people, too afraid to say anything for themselves. Because I can’t be the only person bothered by a girl literally sing-moaning in the same workspace, can I? (We’re talking Mariah-Carey oohh0h0h0hkooohhh yeeeaahheuahhhhadh ooooh baaaaaby kinda moan-singing. Loudly. Daily.)
My first job I worked for a call center at a portrait studio. They were locally owned and pathetically stingy, so they’d only hire a small handful of us at a time to manage the huge increase in calls for session scheduling. Anyway, I worked 8-hour days and thus had a 30-minute lunch, per State of California laws. I remember one day taking my lunch at my desk with my phone logged off, and I read a magazine and ate quietly. Suddenly, my rather rotund supervisor, semblant of a gluttonous sloth, wobbled in and informed me that I would need to continue answering phones on my lunch break.
However, I was somehow well-versed in the inner workings of the California Labor Board Laws (don’t ask — some things ya just know, ya know?) and I politely informed sloth-woman that lunch breaks are free time for the employee and employers are not able to ask us to work on our lunch; it’s against the law. Sloth-woman did not like this and reminded me how busy we were and how I could “get into trouble” for not taking calls.
It was then — that little threat of trouble — that sent the wild vigilante woman inside of me raging, spear in hand, venom on the tongue, ready to fight back. Oh no she didn’t. She deffffffinitely didn’t just tell me to interrupt my orange-chicken-eating to answer phone calls on MY law-mandated break! Bitch please.
“Actually,” I quipped, “it’s against the law. So if you’re planning on getting me into trouble for not working on my state-mandated lunch period, I will be happy to let the Labor Board know.”
Oh shiiiiiiiit son. It hit the fan.
Sloth-woman did not like my sass and walked away saying, “we could really use your help” and warbled off to do a whole lot of nothing. I continued not to answer calls because hello, it’s against the law, and when Sloth-woman came back to ask another employee to do the same, I repeated the same sentence over and over again, standing up for my shy, sweet coworker who wouldn’t know Labor Laws like few weird, vigilante 17-year old girls do. And it felt good, y’know? Sticking up to the man. Doing a public service. Serving the bad guys with some justice!
And FYI, if you ever want to piss off an employer, thoroughly read your state’s labor laws. I guarantee 90% of the jobs out there — even your so-called professional grown-up job — is violating at least one law. And if you hate your job enough, it’s surprisingly really friggin’ satisfying to let a supervisor know that they’re violating your rights as an employee. It makes the wild vigilante woman inside of me yodel with delight and pound her chest, Tarzan-style.
Anyway, when I’m not upholding California’s labor laws, I am standing up for one of my favorite (and one of the most underrated) desserts ever: the blondie. Blondies are a brownie’s brown sugar-y cousin. Rich, sumptuous, buttery, with a hint of spice, blondies are my absolute favorite dessert. I love their simplicity yet the complexity of flavors. And the versatility! Throw whatever you want in ’em and it instantly jazzes up the variety.
However, today’s blondies are transformed into cupcakes! Buttery, golden delicious cupcakes flavored just like blondies– and made with ICE CREAM(!!!!!)– Ben & Jerry’s exclusive new flavor: Rockin’ Blondies! I found this flavor at Target (I believe it’s only available there) and it is TODIEFOORRRRRRRR.
Take a bite. Your mouth will totally love you for it.
- FOR CUPCAKES:
- 1 box yellow cake mix
- 1 pint Ben & Jerry's Rockin' Blondies ice cream, softened to room temperature
- ⅓ cup oil
- 3 eggs
- ¼ cup brown sugar
- FOR FROSTING:
- 2 sticks butter, softened
- ⅔ cup brown sugar
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 4 cups powdered sugar
- Milk (to thin icing, if necessary)
- Cooked blondies, cut into bite-sized cubes
- Caramel sundae syrup
- Butterscotch chips
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 muffin tins with about 18 paper liners; set aside.
- In a large bowl, beat together the cake mix, softened ice cream, oil, eggs and brown sugar with an electric mixer until completely combined, about 2 minutes. Evenly distribute the batter among the muffin tins, filling about ¾ full.
- Bake for approx. 15-17 minutes or until tops are just about set and have a golden hue. Cool the cupcakes completely.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the butter, brown sugar and vanilla until creamy. Gradually add the powdered sugar, about 1 cup at a time, until frosting is light, fluffy, and holds it shape well. Use the milk to thin the icing if it is too thick.
- Pipe the icing high onto the cooled cupcakes. Garnish with the crumbled/cubed blondie pieces, butterscotch chips and drizzle with caramel sundae syrup. If you want to get extra fancy, sprinkle with some coarse sea salt before serving. Store leftovers airtight in the fridge, about 4 days; however, best served the same day-next day.
These aren’t called Blondie Overload Cupcakes for nothing — they truly resemble a blondie from the buttery cake base to the rich, sweet frosting to the chewy, slightly-spiced blondie chunks adorning the tops of these decadent cupcakes. At first I was wary about using melted ice cream as the liquid in my cupcakes, but the idea turned out brilliantly. The melted ice cream substitutes the water or milk you’d normally mix into the cake mix, giving it a very rich, very creamy texture and flavor. Plus, since the ice cream already has those signature blondie flavors–brown sugar, butter, toffee, butterscotch–it just added another complexity to the cupcake.
My sister FLIPPPPPPED for these, and I know you will, too!
Have a delicious weekend!