Not long ago, I had a grown-up person interview for a grown-up person job!
…which meant I had to dig through my closet of costumes to find something slightly less outrageous to wear. I thought I’d had a pair of slacks sitting alone in the depths of my closet, but apparently the costumes nearby consumed it and barfed out more colors and glitter and tutus because it was never to be seen again.
Mind you, this interview was happening just hours after I did a cooking demo on live TV, something which I’d been fretting over for weeks by this point. Thankfully, I didn’t say anything embarrassing or look completely disgusting, so I was beyond relieved when it was over and I could go back to looking like a tutu-wearing cartoon without all of Sacramento judging me or my man voice.
I also celebrated the TV segment by stuffing my face with the gooeiest pizza from IKEA, of all places, among other delicious snacks once I got home. Belly full, mind relieved, and suitable interview outfit on, I left for my interview.
…and it went well! I mean, I thought it did. I think I was so braindead from all the frazzled stress of being on TV that it took away some of the pressure of the interview. I answered everything confidently, I smiled a lot, made tons of eye contact despite my creepy fears about eye contact, and seemed to be on their good side.
I left feeling like I’d nailed that thing, so I hopped in my car and began driving to my celebration dinner when I noticed something that shook me to my very core. Something I fear SO much, that I ask about it several times a day, as well as obsessively check for it several times a day.
There was food all over my face. And in my tooth.
I meeeeeaaaan.. how come I didn’t notice this prior to my interview? How come no one bothered to say, “hey weirdo, you have red crap all over your face” or, “you look great except for that gigantic peppercorn protruding from your tooth crack” ? Not. One. Word.
And in my conceited defense, I DO check myself out a lot. I obviously have to make sure on a regular-basis that I am not walking around in public with junk on my face or things in my teeth or boogers hanging off my nose (it too, has happened). Apparently if I don’t double-check myself often enough I’ll wind up leaving the house looking like some weird savage in a polka dot dress. And apparently, that’s who showed up to my interview, answering questions with confidence, smiling brightly at the interviewers and making eye contact with people who SAW FOOD ON MY FACE.
ON. MY. FACE.
The moral of the story is, don’t book TV segments on the same day as interviews because after your TV segment you’ll be so relieved/braindead/exhausted that you’ll drive to IKEA, eat a huge piece of gooey pizza like a barbarian, then come home and not check your face before going to said interview and then you’ll end up interviewing with pizza sauce and god knows what else in your mouthal region like a fool. Sigh.
Thankfully, donuts make me forget about my barbarian eating habits. Especially donuts smothered in cake batter. Yessssss.
This donut from Gourdough’s was right up my alley — deep fried deliciousness coated in rich fudge and CAKE BATTER. Hello, it can’t get any better (except when you add sprinkles)*. Behold: Not Yo Mama’s Cake Batter Donuts. Get some!
- 1 pkg. Grand’s buttermilk biscuits (not the flaky kind)
- About 2 cups oil
- 1 jar hot fudge sauce
- 1 & ½ cups yellow cake mix (just the mix)
- ½ cup water + more if needed
- In a heavy bottomed skillet, heat the oil on medium/medium-high heat. To test oil’s readiness, take a drop of water and drop it into the oil. If it lightly sizzles, you’re ready! If it pops and sounds angry, turn it down a tad.
- Open the can of biscuits and gently flatten each one with the palm of your hand. Using the base of a piping tip, cut out circles in the middle of each biscuit; reserve the donut holes.
- Fry the donuts and donut holes for about 5-6 minutes, about 2-3 minutes per side, until golden. Remove to a paper-towel lined plate to drain. Note that the donut holes will likely cook faster, so keep an eye on them.
- While the donuts cool off, pour the hot fudge sauce in a medium bowl and microwave for about 30-45 seconds or until smooth, but not completely runny. Dip the donuts into the hot fudge sauce, allowing excess to drip off. Also dip the tops of the donut holes and place them back into the donut’s center (covering up the hole with a donut hole!)
- After the donuts have been dipped, make your cake batter! In a medium bowl, combine the yellow cake mix with ½ cup of water; stir until it comes together and is slightly runny. If it’s super thick, add a little more water to thin it out.
- Pour the cake batter into a Ziploc baggy, seal out the air, and snip off a corner. Drizzle the cake batter on top of the donuts evenly. Sprinkle immediately with rainbow jimmies. Serve!
These donuts have the light and airy crunch of a traditional fried donut but are topped with that luscious, sinful chocolate fudge sauce and that creamy, buttery cake batter, making one festive and scrumptious treat! If you’re really looking to fudge it up, consider substituting yellow cake mix with chocolate and use chocolate sprinkles instead. Hubba hubba!
See you tomorrow, donut lovers