Okay, so it’s no surprise that I am beyond stupid paranoid. About everything.
Paranoid I’ll get scary diseases if a mosquito bites my face. Paranoid that if I don’t alarm my car one night, it’ll be stolen in the morning. Paranoid that all envelopes have a personal vendetta against fingertips so I’ll literally decimate the entire envelope as I open it improperly as to not risk being cut by doing it the “right” way. And paranoid that when I’m shopping, everyone thinks I’m up to no good.
The woooorsssst places are Ross and TJ Maxx. I swear, those employees could burn holes of acid into my soul. I am so scared of them.
I mean, 100% of the time I go to these stores to try to score a discounted Betsey bag or a cute dress or sale sprinkles. And 0% of the time do I actually steal stuff (hello, I am WAY too klutzy to get away with that, plus my conscience weighs like, eleventy million tons–let me tell you the quick story of when I ordered avocado on my deli sandwich at a grocery store and they added the avocado tag right next to the sandwich tag, so when I was rung up, the sandwich only cost 50 cents because she didn’t scan the right tag. So instead of feeling like “hey, I got a full sandwich for 50 cents!” I got all weirded out that somehow, they’d know I was mentally doing wrong and so I was like “look, I’m sorry but you scanned the wrong barcode and my sandwich was only 50 cents so here’s the $6 I owe you” and the person looked at me like I was possessed by demonic powers of honesty because I could have totally had that sandwich for 50 cents.)
So when I’m out and about, especially at the stores-that-shall-no-longer-be-named, I make sure I exaggerate e v e r y s i n g l e m o v e so they know I’m not up to any funky business. I’ll pull the clothes I’m looking at out in the open, look over the hanger and make eye contact with an employee so they can see the honesty in my eyes. I’m pretty sure they can briefly connect with me mentally and see through telekinesis that I wouldn’t steal that dress because hello, it is way ugly up close.
And when the security guards come by, I’m like WAAAAY exaggerated. I won’t even touch anything when the guards are nearby because I feel if I even check the price on that cake stand, I’ll burst into flames or they’ll arrest me or something. So I wander around with an arm’s length from merchandise on either side as to not be too close to anything and thus seem suspicious. However, I do realize that in my attempts to appear inconspicuous, I’m probably a walking neon sign of crazy. I figure it’s just the price to pay for being an overly honest person.
Oh, and when it comes time to pay, I’m like, here’s my stuff!! and put it all on the counter in one layer so they see I’m not pulling any funny business, and I’ll like, open my purse so they could see inside, ya know, if they wanted, to see there’s nothing in there except a sad little wallet and some Altoids, because I freaking love those.
And upon checking out, I’ll walk through the sensor-door thingies really slow so they know I wasn’t trying to rush out of there or anything. And once I’ve successfully passed through the sensors without bombs being dropped on my head or flame-throwing ninja stars attacking my face, I’ll walk to my car at a reasonable pace because anything quicker than like, 5mph looks suuuuper shady, bro. WHY ARE YOU RUSHING, HMMM?? YOU’RE STRANGELY EAGER TO LEAVE THE STORE.
This may or may not have happened while I was in Ross buying heart-shaped cookie cutters which propelled me to make these heart-shaped pie pops. It was a good idea on my part, paranoia and all.
These pie pops are filled with real-fruit strawberry jam and Nutella which is a winning combination in my book. The sweet, fruity jelly pairs perfect with the rich, smooth chocolate in the miniature, crispy pie. A final sprinkling of white sugar on top of each golden pie adds a little extra crunch and shimmer. You’ll heart these pies!
Honest.
- 1 pkg refrigerated pie crusts, room temperature
- About ¼ cup strawberry jam (I used Smucker's Spreadable Fruit jam)
- About ¼ cup Nutella
- 1 egg
- White sugar
- Popsicle sticks
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone liner or mist lightly with cooking spray; set aside.
- On a clean, flat work space, roll out the pie dough. Using a medium-sized heart-shaped cutter, cut out hearts evenly. You should get about 5 hearts from each roll, and you can re-roll the dough for more hearts if desired. You'll probably get 1-2 more or so.
- Place a heart on the baking sheet. Using a small teaspoon, put ½ tsp or so of strawberry jam in the center and up on the humps of the heart, leaving a small border to seal the edges of the pie together. Place ½ tsp of Nutella on top of the strawberry jam, using your fingers to kind of overlay the jam.
- Gently press a popsicle stick into the bottom of the bottom pie sheet. Top the pie with a matching heart piece of dough. Pinch the seams to seal (I also used a small-tined fork to crimp). Beat the egg in a small bowl and brush the pies with the egg wash. Sprinkle with white sugar.
- Bake for approx. 15-20 minutes or until the tops are golden and edges are lightly crispy. Cool the pies on the baking sheet slightly before serving. These are great room temperature or lightly warmed up! Makes about 8-10 pie pops.
These are kinda sorta perfect for Valentine’s Day, or any time you’re feeling like ya wanna wear your heart on a popsicle stick and eat it — just sayin’ 🙂 The strawberry jelly and the Nutella spread pair so nicely together, like a chocolate-covered strawberry inside of a flaky, buttery crust. You could also try experimenting with other jam flavors, like blueberry or apricot. Or try using Biscoff for a spicy kick to the jam!
Happy Monday!!
xo, Hayley
Nicky @ Pink Recipe Box says
These look fabulous, Hayley! Just perfect for Valentine’s Day.
Can’t wait to try them – pinning!
Love your story, too! 🙂
Tanya Schroeder says
I love strawberry and Nutella together, one of my favorite combos! Funny post by the way. I am a paranoid person too. I always focus on those mirrors at ATMs. I try to look all composed and ordinary. Which I am anyways, so it’s really silly! But I know where you are coming from!
The Domestic Rebel says
OMG YES! And on the security cameras when the TV is like right in your face. I’m like “don’t suspect me” and I try to avoid looking at the camera/tv because obviously suspicious people do that, right?! Lol, so funny!
cookingactress says
hahahaaa I’m totally paranoid too! Esp. about those envelopes! Michael gets so annoyed that I have to tear them apart but I’m like “I HATE PAPER CUTS!”
He would maybe forgive me for the envelope massacres if I made us these pie pops. Because omg yummyyyy!
Regina says
Strawberry and nutella in a pie pop? Yes please!
The Kitchen Prep says
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for the morning laugh! I tend to get all paranoid whenever I get a phone call in a store and am dropping my phone back into my purse because I feel like it looks as if I could possibly be depositing stolen goods into my bag. Ha! So I do the exaggerated movements, too, like I’m saying, “LOOK CAMERAS, it’s a PHONE I’m putting into my purse! Don’t sic the guard dogs on me!” Glad I’m not the only one!
Anyway, Nutella is one of my favorite things. Like, ever. So I may be making these soon. Except maybe with cutters I already own so I don’t have to go through the mental trauma of shopping for new ones. 😉
The Domestic Rebel says
I do the same thing! I haaaate getting my phone out and putting it back in–so scary and suspicious! Lol, thanks girl 🙂
Back for Seconds says
Oh man, hahaha! I can totally relate, girl! I think people steal stuff from those stores ALL the time, so they suspect everyone.
Um, these pies are crazy adorable! I love the sugar sprinkle on top, too.
Ikhlas says
Hahaha I love your story! SO easy to relate to! And oh my, these look so cute and yummy! Awesome idea 😀
Anna @ Crunchy Creamy Sweet says
How do you come up with all of this adorable stuff? SWOON!!!
Georgia | The Comfort of Cooking says
These are calling to me! Sooo cute and I bet super scrumptious. Love ’em, Hayley!
Nicole @ youngbrokeandhungry says
I think we are twinsies because I do exactly the same thing in Tj Maxx. It has gotten to the point were my mom has said, “Nicole stop acting like you are about to hijack the store” I just can’t help it. These heart pops are tots adorable and the filling is calling my name!
Sally says
I freaking LOVE Nutella and Strawberry and things on sticks!!! I love how creative you always are girl. And those cute little striped straws that are in your photos get me every time. I need some of those Hayley!
Sarah @ Miss CandiQuik says
So cute! I have one of those pie pan things and have yet to use it…shame on me. This is a good excuse to put it to good use!
Erin Penor says
Ok, my little guy will flip over these, nutella is his favorite! So adorable:) He thanks you in advance.
Heather @ SugarDish(Me) says
I think when I was younger I erred on the side of paranoia about this stuff. And now I’m just totally defiant. I think I snapped one time when the Wal-Mart door greeter wanted to “check” my receipt for the toilet paper on the bottom of my cart AFTER I spent $250 on groceries WHILE I juggled a fussy baby and a crabby 3-year-old … I mean enough is enough. If they wanna eyeball me and chase me out to the car then so be it. Cause I’m gonna keep walking. Pie pops!!!! Super fun. How’d you know I liked Nutella & strawberry jam on my toast?
Caley says
Oh my gosh, I’m exactly the same way! I make such a show of being not-suspicious that I look like I probably have a million dollars of merchandise stashed on myself. I used to do it on the playground too; when the aides were watching to make sure we weren’t breaking rules I would act like I could hardly even hang on to the monkey bars…of course, in that case, when their backs were turned I was TOTALLY flipping and doing things without hands and risking my life. 😉 These pie pops are adorable!
bakerbynature says
OK these are just the cutest-thing-ever! So perfect for V Day!!!
Chandra@The Plaid and Paisley Kitchen says
Well if you ever come into my store I will make sure that no one makes you feel like that!!! Also these pie pops are adorable!
Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says
Um, it’s pie on a stick. I’m there. Maybe I’ll steal one. 😉
Kelly @ Hidden Fruits and Veggies says
Wow! these sound SO amazing. Not normally a pie person, but I’m definitely a strawberry and nutella kind of person
Jess @ On Sugar Mountain says
OMG no I get you – sometimes when I get a headache I become paranoid that it is the ONE headache that means I’m going to have an aneurism. It’s never the case obvs. but still. No judgment from a fellow worry wart. I do find it amusing to imagine you over exaggerating your motions in TJ Maxx though lol. OH AND THESE PIE POPS?! so freaking cute. I wish I could cram them all in my mouth right this second.
Ashley @ Kitchen Meets Girl says
LOL! I’m always totally exaggerated when I get stuff out of my purse in stores–like my lip gloss or my phone. Sometimes I even tell Doodle (loudly), “Here, let mommy get that out of her purse.” You know, just in case there’s any question that the stuff I’m getting out of my purse actually belongs to me.
Strawberry and Nutella – in a pie pop? Oh, yes please!
Lauren says
Wow, am happy that am not the only one who feels like that when shopping. One day I went to the mall shopping for some much need pants and about every story I went to a security guard was right behind me. They would hand a piece of paper to the person at the check out. Not to mentioned when I was driving home that same day someone followed me form the mall almost to my house. Luck me they turned before I got to my street to turn on to. I was already paranoid at the mall then on the way home I was even more then paranoid.
By the way I love your website. It’s my first time commenting on. Thanks for the laugh too.
The Domestic Rebel says
Lol, Lauren! They were soooo onto you!
Caroline says
Oh my Gosh! That description was exactly how I feel inside stores. And to make things worst: once I entered a vegetable store really crowded. When I noticed the line for paying (which you couldn’t see from the outside) I decided that it wasn’t worth it, so I left and some old man at the door asked me with the most suspicious tone EVER: “didn’t you buy anything??”: I almost spit the “no, I didn’t” on his face.
Note: it was a vegetable store and I was dressed for a job interview. I didn’t look like Alladin and they were still suspicious. Was is he going to do about all the people that eats grapes while shopping? Life sentence?
Sheesh!!
The Domestic Rebel says
Caroline, I totally forgot to mention that, too! I HAAAATE when I walk into stores and they either have hellaciously long lines and I don’t feel like waiting, or they didn’t have what I wanted, so I’m carrying something around and decide to abandon ship. And I KNOW they have security cameras or undercover cops swarming the store thinking, “wasn’t she just carrying a bag of Hershey Kisses? Now how come her hands are empty? THIEF!!” and they’re judging me. OMG it’s the worst. You should have said to him, “I only wait in line to buy ice cream and chocolate. Vegetables don’t deserve a line.” Lol.
BruCrew Life says
Every time I put my phone in my coat pocket I am so worried they will think I am stealing something! And I put things down all the time because I decide not to buy them and then I wonder if I will get stopped at the door.
I heart you for this treat…I mean pie on a stick that has strawberry and Nutella? Hello…I love these. So cute!!!
Jennifer says
First off, this recipe looks insanely delicious and I think it would be a huge hit with my entire family so later today when the stores are actually open, I’m going to go buy those pie crusts mentioned in the ingredients and get to work making these! On another note, are you like my clone or something?!?! I am EXACTLY like that when I go out to stores as well – super paranoid that everyone thinks I’m stealing!! To add to all the things you mentioned you do (which I also do), I also always get my keys out as I leave the store and I do that with hugely exaggerated movements so that everyone knows it’s just keys I’m getting from my pocket and it’s not some item I was trying to steal! Once the keys are out, I give them a little shake up in the air where everyone (and all security cameras) can see that they are simply the keys to my car and house. 🙂 Glad to know I’m not the only crazy paranoid gal out there! 🙂
thedomesticrebel says
Jennifer, I’m afraid we’re THE SAME PERSON. I totally do the SAME THING. And if I have to take my phone out for some reason, I always make some exaggerated movement or exasperated sigh so people around me know it’s just my phone I’m putting away, not pocketing a pack of gum or something. Haha! We are so weird BUT I love it 🙂
Jennifer says
LOL I totally do the same thing with my phone! Crazy! It is fun to be crazy though. I love it too! 😀