In today’s episode, we’ll discuss the one time when a creepy man told me he had a Hayley fan club.
Yep, you heard me. My very own fan club, possibly run by a man with a greasy ponytail and a muscle tee.
I mean, when I was a kid, I kinda was jealous that Mary-Kate and Ashley had a fan club (which, I’ll have you know, I was and STILL AM a member of–I have the card to prove it) and I wanted my own. However, I also had this thing where I’ve always loathed making friends so having a fan club never quite worked in my favor.
Still, I never imagined the day I’d be told I had a fan club of my own.. started and run by aforementioned creepy man. A creepy man who told me I was “pretty popular” and smiled brightly at a suggestion that we should throw a party in my honor.
Uhhhhhh. This is where I curse scientists that disappearing potion doesn’t exist. I mean, it’s basically 2013 and we don’t even have hovercars yet. The least y’all could do with your time is make a disappearing potion where I drink it when I’m being threatened by a hairy slimeball and can magically disappear.
So ANYWAY. Now that my secret fan club is out, I’m all wary of everyone who comes into my work, wondering if they’re like, the treasurer or something. And what do they talk about during meetings? Do I want to know? Did they make buttons or pins? Or, ew, business cards? Are they reading this right now? Please don’t hurt me.
Basically, I’m scuuuurred. And when I’m happy, sad, mad, excited, threatened, furious, depressed or scared, I eat. Food is my security blanket when I’m surrounded by a scary fan club.
And today’s comfort food of choice is Chocolate Mint Seven Layer Bars. I knoooow I sound like a broken record–I’ve had several seven layer bar recipes in the past month. But they’re seriously SO brainless and foolproof to make, and they taste SO incredibly delicious that I can’t.stop.making.them. You could say I have a secret seven layer bar fan club. I’m the VP
Now let’s kick off our meeting with some food, shall we?
Chocolate Mint Seven Layer Bars *adapted from my peppermint seven-layer bars
1 box chocolate cake mix
1 stick butter, melted
1 cup chocolate-covered pretzels, coarsely crushed
About 15 mint Oreos, roughly chopped
1 cup Hershey’s mint truffle Kisses, roughly chopped
3/4 cup 3 Muskateers Mint, chopped
3/4 cup Ghiradelli Dark & Mint squares, chopped
1 cup Andes baking chips
1 cup dark chocolate + mint chips
1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil, extending the sides over the edge of the pan. Mist lightly with cooking spray and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, melted butter + egg until blended. Stir in the chopped pretzels. Press the mixture evenly into the prepared pan and bake for about 12 minutes.
3. Remove the pan from the oven and sprinkle on the crushed Oreos, chopped Kisses, chopped candy bars + squares and the baking chips in an even layer. Drizzle evenly with the scmilk. Return to the oven and bake for an additional 15 minutes or so until the center is set and slightly bubbly.
4. Cool the bars completely in the pan before cutting into squares. Store at room temperature, airtight, up to 3 days.
I prooooomise I won’t have another seven layer bar recipe within the next, ohhhh, week or so. After that, I can’t guarantee I can resist my obsession for much longer. These bars are SO awesome and I know you’ll love them! They aren’t nicknamed ‘magic’ bars for nothing!