Vanilla Bean Chocolate Chip Cookies

I have an arch-nemesis.

Two, actually.

And you’ll never guess who or what they are.

… Suspenseful enough? Okay, I’ll spare you the grueling details and lack of sleep since you’re dying to know (you were dying to know, right?!)

Baked potatoes and chocolate chip cookies.

Yup, two food items I absolutely LOATHE. Not loathe eating, but loathe MAKING.

Forrealzies.

Chocolate chip cookies and baked potatoes HATE me. I swear, they’re totally out to get me. And I don’t even know what I’ve done to them to receive such awful treatment.

I mean, I love baked potatoes, especially when loaded with tons of green onions and butter. And chocolate chip cookies? We go way back, obvi! So rich and buttery and such a classic. Who doesn’t love them?

But they don’t love me, because every time I make either item, it fails miserably. Like, I have better luck becoming a Real Housewife than baking a perfect potato.

Seriously.

I’ve tried everything: par-boiling, then baking, baking for a long time at a series of different temperatures, microwaving, slitting, piercing, slathering… EVERYTHING. And every time? Hard-as-rocks potatoes with skin that isn’t crispy… it just… is.

And I’m tempted, at this point, to beat the potatoes to death because I’m so annoyed that baking them at 400 for 30 minutes did NOTHING but unfortunately, “beating them to death” doesn’t work so well when they’re still raw, super dense, and could be considered a deadly weapon if thrown at a steady speed.

On an off note, how sh*tty would it be to die by a baked potato?

And then there are chocolate chip cookies. Cookies act all sweet and innocent and stuff, loved by all the parents and the kids and the boyfriend, but they have a seriously evil side.

Like the fact that they’re totally sluts and love spreading it in the oven. I’ll pull out my baking sheets and they’re all spread out like pancakes, thin as paper; those slutty cookies.

Or how they never quite have that crinkly cookie top. You know, how chocolate chip cookies usually have that valley-like, high and low, uneven top? I see those bumps as “mountains of butter and sugar and chocolate”, but my cookies like to make me angry and turn out hideous and flat and not mountainous. Just fugly.

And the butter to cookie to chocolate chip ratio. If there’s too many chocolate chips, it’s no bueno in my book. I like lots of cookie, slight chips–but I know everyone’s different. However, no matter what, I like that allover, deep butter flavor–it makes them so tender and gooey and perfect. And I’ve never mastered it.

Basically, my family is convinced I am an incompetent cookie baker. And let’s face it, I am. My sugar cookies NEVER look close to Bridget’s, and I can’t even make a decent chocolate chip cookie that doesn’t look like a rejected pancake.

But then I found it. The One.

Golden, buttery crust, studded with the right amount of milk chocolate chips and teensy flecks of vanilla bean. Aka, FLAVOR. It’s amazing, spectacular, and like, the best evah. And I can definitely say that since I have had the worst ever. Like, my whole life. Best of all: no chilling! Because lol, who seriously chills dough? *impatience much?*

Thank god I can easily be won over and forget the past.

Vanilla Bean Chocolate Chip Cookies *adapted from Kelsey at Apple A Day’s recipe 

3/4 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 Tbsp vanilla bean paste (or 2 tsp vanilla extract)
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease two cookie sheets with cooking spray and blot excess spray with a towel; or, line sheets with silipat liners. Set aside.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, soda, cornstarch and salt, and set aside. Meanwhile, in a large bowl with an electric mixer, beat together the butter and sugars until creamy, about a minute. Beat in the egg and vanilla bean paste to combine.
3. Gradually add flour mixture to the butter mixture, beating well after each addition. Once dough has come together, stir the chocolate chips in by hand with a wooden spoon.
4. Portion dough into heaping Tablespoonfuls onto the cookie sheets, about 2″ apart. Bake for approx. 8-10 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through cooktime to ensure even baking. Do not overbake (they will remain fairly light in color). Allow to cool a couple minutes on the baking sheets before transferring cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.
5. Store leftovers airtight for up to 3-4 days.

If you can, use vanilla bean paste here. It really elevates the flavor of these cookies from yum to FORREALTHESEARETHEYUMMIESTCOOKIESI’VEEVERHAD.

Swear it.

Alright, baked potatoes. Meet your maker, you dirty beyotches.

xo, Hayley

 

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Comments

  1. Just like you, I can’t make a good chocolate chip cookie. It’s my husband’s favorite kind and he prefers Chips Ahoy to mine. I was going to try again today and so – I will use your recipe and see if it saves me from Chocolate Chip Hell.

    • I hope you can be resurrected from chocolate chip cookie hell! I found success with this recipe, so I hope you will, too. It’s so annoying being in chocolate chip cookie purgatory 😐

  2. I almost felt bad for you, not being able to bake chocolate chip cookies….until I read this recipe. My mournful attitude turned to a grateful one! Am in the kitchen now, Not making breakfast as I do on Sundays but these cookies that are sure to be gone just as quickly as I take them from the oven!!!

    • Maliaka, I really hope you enjoy them! I was tempted to usurp the kitchen this morning, too, to bake cookies instead of breakfast 🙂 not sure anyone ’round here would mind either! Hope you enjoy them, and have an amazing day! Thanks for commenting. xo!

  3. I totally understand your pain. I have NEVER been able to make a perfect chocolate chip cookie. So I seriously have to try making these as soon as possible, they look amazing! Could I ask where you found the vanilla bean paste though? I’m not entirely sure where I could get that

    • Hi Amanda! I’m glad you’re in the same boat–here I thought I was alone in this quest for the perfect choc chip cookie 🙂 I actually found my vanilla bean paste at ROSS, of all places, but I’ve seen it at TJ Maxx, Home Goods and Hobby Lobby, to name a few. You can also find it online for relatively cheaply. It may seem more expensive than vanilla extract but the flavor is so much richer and deeper than extract that you can use it in place of extract in virtually everything. Good luck!

  4. A few years ago, my aunt made me a cloth bag that you put potatoes in and put it in the microwave and they come out pretty good. Maybe you can google it and buy or make one for yourself.

    Mmmmm…cookies….

  5. “Like the fact that they’re totally sluts and love spreading it in the oven.” Best. Line. Ever. Also, best cookies. 🙂

  6. Came across this recipe on Pinterest and sweet mother of cake these cookies are amazing! I’ve been using the standard Nestle Tollhouse ( but pronounce that the French way) and lately they have been sub par. And by sub par I mean rock solid and weapon caliber. These cookies however fluffed up beautifully, are chewy yet the edges have a slight crisp crunch to them, and the 800000 pictures that I took to flood my social media feeds are borderline pornographic by cookie standards. In summation…best saw it, did it, pinned it goal.

    • thedomesticrebel says:

      Cookie porn is the best porn, am I right?! Hahaha totally lol’d at the French pronunciation of Tollhooooose. I’m so glad you enjoyed this recipe, because giiiirl, I hate those flat flying saucer cookies and I loved that these puffed up all fat-like and delicious. Thanks for your comment! xo.

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