Since I walk a three-legged dog daily, I have become understandably recognizable throughout my neighborhood. People I don’t even know will wave at me from their lawns or cars, and I’ll always wave back or say hello. I’m a friendly walker — I’ll talk to anyone.
But unlike a standard wave-and-go, my neighborhood has the intense wavers. Intense wavers are those people who will stop at nothing to ensure you saw their wave and acknowledged their wave, and in the event that it is possible that you didn’t see or acknowledge their wave, they will go out of their way to continue waving like a rabid maniac flagging down a plane on a deserted island until you notice them.
I get it: waving at someone who doesn’t notice your wave is embarrassing. And I try to wave back at anyone who waves at me. But there are occasions where I’m rightfully distracted (I am walking a very easily-distracted Border Collie), speaking on the phone, not paying attention, or trying to avoid other neighbors (like the man who once ran up to me and handed me a feather, asking me if I needed some “whimsy in my day.” Um.)
But instead of continuing about their day with an unrequited wave, they’ll make it their life’s mission to ensure I acknowledge them. Dammit, she will notice me or I’ll die trying!! No joke, but I’ve actually been walking Mannie and have felt that weird presence behind me, only to turn around and be greeted with a car inches from me, eking up on me with the passenger window down and the neighbor waving maniacally at me, repeating various salutations over and over like some broken friendly robot.
Nothing says “friendly neighbor” like a neighbor who legitimately sneaks up on you in their motor vehicle only to say hello. Or the neighbors who have legitimately held up traffic to drive very slowly down the street where I was walking to wave at me. I wish I were kidding. If this is what it’s like to be a celebrity, remind me to never become one because I can’t even handle this weirdly friendly stalking business.
Or the neighbor that not only waves like a freak of nature, but shouts “Hey! Good morning! Hello! How’s your day? Hellooooo! Hey!” over and over and over until I acknowledge him. I figured I could eke by with just a wave, but I can hear his repeated greetings over the sound of my music and am forced to say hello in every known language just to pass, as if he’s some salutations bridge troll. I see you, man! I waved. A wave is enough. A wave’s an acknowledgement. I don’t think I have to physically say “hello” every.single.time.
However, that’s also the neighbor who tells me every time that he’s convinced the other neighbors are out to get him and that the other neighbors have installed cameras on their homes pointed directly at his house. Um.
So anyway, if there’s someone in your neighborhood that you always exchange pleasantries with, or if you happen to spot someone you want to say ‘hi’ to, just say hi. And if they don’t respond? I am pretty sure the world won’t detonate, your embarrassment will eventually subside and it is incredibly, freakishly creepy only to continue to hideously wave like you’re single-handedly trying to extinguish a small house fire, so please resist the urge to continue to shout greetings to them from your car, hold up traffic, or hunt them down while they’re minding their own damn business picking up their dog’s sh*t. Yeah, I see you, but I have a handful of literal crap and am trying to wrangle my dog since UPS just drove by, so I’m a little preoccupied to continue our greeting beyond my bro-like head nod hello or my curt “hey.” Sorry I cannot say ‘Shalom’ or ask how your Monday morning was in extensive detail.
And after a long morning of being badgered with hellos from overly friendly, socially awkward neighbors, sometimes I just gotta head home and bury my face in sprinkles. Lots of sprinkles. This Funfetti Cookie Cake definitely serves its purpose for both head burial and being freaking delicious.
I took my ultra-fave cake batter cookie recipe and baked it in a pie tin for a super deep dish, mega-rich cookie cake that’s packed with a cake batter punch and topped with a sweet whipped buttercream. Whether you eat the entire thing or section it into slices, it’s the best pleasantry you’ll get all day!
- ¾ cup butter, softened to room temperature
- ½ cup brown sugar
- ½ cup white sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
- 1 tsp almond extract
- 1 & ¼ cups all-purpose flour
- 1 & ¼ cups Funfetti cake mix (the powdered mix)
- ½ tsp baking soda
- Pinch salt
- ⅔ cup rainbow jimmies (the tube-shaped sprinkles)
- ¾ cup white chocolate chips, optional
- Vanilla Frosting (homemade, or canned--I used canned)
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 9" pie plate with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the butter, brown sugar & sugar with the paddle attachment, about 2 minutes. Beat in the egg and both extracts. Lastly, add in the cake mix, flour, baking soda and salt and beat until a soft dough has formed. Stir in the sprinkles and white chocolate chips, if using (I didn't here, only because I forgot! But I think they'll add nice texture and a pop of sweetness).
- Spread the cookie dough into the prepared pie plate, smoothing out the top to even it. Bake for approx. 24-26 minutes or until the top is golden, the center is set, and a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean or with light, moist crumbs. Do NOT overbake, as the cookie will continue to cook as it cools. The center may crack and/or deflate a little as it cools; this is normal and okay!
- Once the cake has cooled, pipe icing around the edges of the cookie cake using a star tip; top with sprinkles. Alternately, you could also frost the entire top surface of the cake and coat it with sprinkles if you'd like, or leave the cake bare and top with ice cream.
I love how rich, dense, chewy and BUTTERY this fabulous cookie cake tastes! Every bite is packed with that lusciously sweet, sprinkle-studded, cake battery punch in that soft and chewy cookie texture everyone loves. As I mentioned in the ingredients, you can totally add white chocolate chips (or even semi-sweet!) if you’d like for an additional added pop of sweetness and texture — the gooey, melty pockets of chocolate would be SO yummy!
I seriously hope y’all have enjoyed Funfetti Week!! Be sure to check back tomorrow for a fun, sprinkly roundup of Funfetti treats 🙂 In the meantime… still craving more Funfetti treats?! Check out these bites!