Dear Denim Short Manufacturers,
I have a bone to pick with you. Ya see, I get that the fashion world is typically very anti-curvy people. I’m sure it’s cheaper and easier to make everything a size small and let’s face it, some things do look better on smaller sized folks. However, curvy people still exist and until there are nudity laws everywhere, we have to wear clothes. And since I live on the sun (aka, in Sacramento where it is regularly 111 degrees F as of late), I need to wear something so I don’t keel over and die. That’s where denim shorts come in.
I typically wear dresses on a daily basis since they’re easier, look cuter, and I own no less than 5 billion of them. But sometimes I’m feeling particularly lazy (blame it on the rising temps) and throw on a pair of denim shorts. Everything’s fine and dandy until.. until I freaking move. And then half of my shorts are up into my inner thigh, turning my modest denim shorts into a raunchy denim bikini. WTF.
I can’t walk more than two yards without one inner denim leg creeping up dangerously close to my hooha, which causes me to furiously yank the fabric down every two steps. And when I try my hardest to ignore the fact that I now have a half-denim-bikini, half-shorts on, the other half rides up, giving the general public an unwanted view of my new trashy denim undies.
WHAT. GIVES. I can’t win here.
I’ve even tried yanking the waistband down so it sits below my hips, but that just means my muffin top is hanging out of my denim undies. It’s a look I never thought I’d see on me, much less the entire neighborhood as I anxiously try to adjust myself at the local park, cussing under my breath.
And like, have you ever adjusted yourself in public? It’s awkward. One should never adjust themselves like that in public. The fact that I’m constantly reaching down there and yanking fabric around makes me look possessed.
It’s not like the shorts don’t fit — they do. They fit perfectly on my waist and hips and in general, the length is just fine. But some kind of denim-eating undie magic happens when I wear them which just ain’t sitting well with me. That, and the fact that inner leg chafing is the worst. Help me out here, fashion companies!
And while we’re working on those inseam lengths, can we discuss why curvy girls have it worse when it comes to sizing? I’ll try on a size 8 and it feels like I’m suffocating within a sausage casing, but the size 10 looks like I’m wearing a 4-person tent. What in the royal fashion fudge is happening in your factories? Can we have some consistency so I don’t have to choose between waddling around like a constipated bratwurst or swimming in fabric that could cover the size of an Airstream trailer? I mean seriously.
Anyway, while you’re working away at some fashion magic, I went working away to make another scrumptious Neapolitan recipe for Neapolitan Week. I’ve become increasingly intrigued by icebox cakes, simple cakes made with cookies, milk, pudding and Cool Whip that you refrigerate and voila — a no-bake cake 🙂 and this particular cake tastes like a frosty, chilly Neapolitan ice cream cone. Impossible to resist!
*inspired by Lindsay’s Mint Oreo Icebox Cake recipe
- 2 pkgs Neapolitan Oreos
- 1 (3.4 oz) pkg strawberry instant pudding mix
- 1 (3.4 oz) pkg chocolate instant pudding mix
- 4 & ½ cups cold milk
- 1 tub (8 oz) Cool Whip, thawed
- Chocolate syrup
- Strawberry syrup
- Rainbow sprinkles
- Lightly grease a 13x9" baking pan with cooking spray and set aside. Meanwhile, prepare the chocolate pudding by combining the chocolate pudding mix and TWO (2) cups of the milk into a medium bowl, whisking until smooth; in a separate bowl, whisk together the strawberry pudding mix and TWO (2) cups of milk until smooth; set both puddings aside.
- Dip each Oreo in the remaining ½ cup of milk and arrange the Oreos in a single layer on the bottom of the prepared pan. Cover the Oreos with the strawberry pudding in an even layer.
- Dip the remaining Oreos in the milk and layer on top of the strawberry pudding in a single layer; top with the chocolate pudding in an even layer. Smooth on the Cool Whip to cover the pudding mixture, then drizzle on the strawberry and chocolate syrup. Top with sprinkles.
- Allow the icebox cake to set in the fridge for about an hour to set, then cut into squares to serve. Store leftovers airtight in the fridge.
I absolutely love this icebox cake! The sweet and crunchy Neapolitan Oreos, the layers of sweet strawberry and rich chocolate pudding, and the final touch of rainbow sprinkles and a drizzle of chocolate & strawberry syrup — you’ll instantly be transported back to childhood summers eating Neapolitan ice cream cones as fast as you could before it dripped everywhere. This will quickly become a new summertime staple!
Note: if you cannot find Neapolitan Oreos, use Berry Burst Oreos instead. Or did what I did and smoosh Berry Burst Oreos and Chocolate-Filled Golden Oreos together to make your own Neapolitan Oreos! 🙂
Craving more icebox desserts? Check out these Icebox Cakes from other blogs!
Strawberry Coconut-Lime Icebox Cake from Kitchen Meets Girl
Peanut Butter Oreo Icebox Cake from Something Swanky
Blueberry and Strawberry Cheesecake Icebox Cake from Life, Love & Sugar
Have a fantastical day!!
xo, Hayley
Yum!
and as to the shorts issues: me too, and gave up on them. Skirts rule.
This looks SINful. Yumm!
In my Venn diagram circle of friends, I am the baking queen because of your recipes!!!! You’re so creative! I’m making this one for our upcoming Water War party this weekend! So many exclamations!!!!
This looks FAB! Wish I could have some delivered!
I don’t get along very well with the fashion industry either. Even on their size smalls, the spaghetti straps are too long (small girls don’t usually have double D’s either, despite what the clothing manufacturers think), and the bottoms… If they fit in the waist, the legs are flopping around like a tent, and if they fit in the legs, my stomach is getting squeezed out the waist like I’m 2 months pregnant. I can’t win. I just want to wear leggings and flowy shirts all the time, but I’d die in this Sac heat. But hey, at least your icebox cake would make the heat 100x better! 🙂
Levis in the summer are never pleasent. They don’t breath at all 🙁
OMG. I have that same problem but with cotton shorts not denim. It’s so freaking annoying. I feel like people are watching me walk around with my hand in my crotch pulling out my shorts.
It’s not attractive. 😉