So, as some of you guys know, I tried out for Season 10 of the Next Food Network Star last week.
I haven’t heard anything yet — but I’m hopeful, and if nothing else, SO glad I did it!
Anywho, while I was in the waiting room with the other hopefuls, I met an interesting breed of foodies: The Foodie One-Uppers.
This breed of foodies is much like any breed of foodies–they talk incessantly about food, they dream about food, their lives are centered around food. However, they have a genetic deformity which causes them to prattle on and on and onnnnn about how much better they are than anyone else. They are the foodiest of foodies and they will stop at noooothing to make sure you know that.
As I was nervously waiting my turn to audition, I couldn’t help but hear the foodie one-upping that was engulfing the room. I’m sorry, but listening to two super healthy, gluten-free foodies one-up each other is probably the reason why Vincent Van Gogh lopped off his own ear as I certainly debated doing the same.
“Our bakery uses a special, locally-made rice flour.”
“Well OUR bakery uses a special, locally-made rice flour that’s all organic.”
“Oh yeah? Well OURS is organic, too, AND non-GMO.”
“Well.. yeah, ours is non-GMO, too, AND it’s cruelty free.”
“Yeah, not only is ours cruelty-free as well, but it also cures cancer.”
I never really thought two people could and would one-up each other so hard over rice flour.
“Have you ever made a quinoa brittle?”
“Well DUH.”
“Okay, well one time I made a quinoa brittle that was free of QUINOA!!”
“Oh really? Because one time I made a quinoa-free quinoa brittle that had super powers.”
“That’s cute, because my super-power quinoa-but-not-really-quinoa-brittle transforms into a robot on command.”
I kept having to remind myself that they were bickering over quinoa. No offense to that circular grain but, you really are not all that and a bag of chips. And I would never fight over you.
“Where I’m from, my bakery is extremely popular among the gluten-free people. It’s been featured in magazines and local papers a bunch of times.”
“That’s nice. Where I live, my restaurant has been featured on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives.”
“Oh yeah? Well my bakery has been featured on Cupcake Wars… and I won.”
“Oh, you won Cupcake Wars? That’s cute. I won Iron Chef.”
“That’s nice, but I actually won Extreme Iron Chef, which is when the Iron Chefs have to cook with no utensils and use cruelty-free, vegan quinoa to make brittle in 118 degree weather.”
“How interesting! Except I won Extreme Iron Chef AND I was recognized by the President.”
I couldn’t wait to get out of that room and as far away from Foodie One-Uppers as humanly possible. And I pretty pretty promise you that when I win Food Network Star and eventually get my own show, I neeeeever will Foodie One-Up anyone. OR make quinoa brittle because ain’t nobody got time for that.
I will, however, make sinfully delicious bark that tastes identical to a 100 Grand candy bar because that’s what cool people do. AND because I am seriously convinced that this bark DOES have magical powers.
Take a bite… and then tell Bob and Suzie that I need my own show already, sheeeeeeesh.
- 3 cups Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 pkg white chocolate chips
- 1 pkg Kraft caramel bits
- 2 tsp milk
- About 6 miniature 100 Grand candy bars, roughly chopped
- 1 square baking chocolate, melted
- Line a rimmed baking sheet with wax paper or a Silpat liner; set aside. Meanwhile, melt white chocolate chips over a double boiler until smooth and melted. Pour the white chocolate mixture into a large bowl and gently stir in the cereal to coat.
- Spread the krispy bark in an even layer onto the prepared baking sheet, pressing down to compact it if necessary. This is easy if you use greased hands. Let stand.
- Melt the caramel in a microwaveable bowl until smooth and melted, adding the milk if necessary to help thin out the caramel. Spread the melted caramel on top of the bark and smooth it out to the edges to cover the entire plane.
- Top the caramel layer with the chopped 100 Grand candies. Drizzle the top with the melted chocolate. Let the bark stand at room temperature for about 30 minutes before cutting into squares.
*recipe adapted from Bridget
This bark is such a fun and unique treat to serve up 100 Grand candy bars! Since 100 Grands are made with crispy cereal, caramel and chocolate, this is the perfect combination to recreate this classic candy. If you’re a super chocolate fan, feel free to use semi-sweet chocolate chips instead of the white chocolate. Or to make this bark more sweet and salty, try substituting peanut butter chips in for the white chips. I don’t know about you, but peanut butter and caramel together = to diiiiie for.
Have a delicious day!!
xo, Hayley
Aimee @ ShugarySweets says
I think I know those people you met 🙂 I can’t wait to hear if you made it. I mean, duh, why wouldn’t they choose you??? Anyways, this barK? yes….
Emily @ Life on Food says
I would be a ball of nerves at something like that…so cool you tried out.
Kayle (The Cooking Actress) says
oh my gawwwwwd. That foodie one-up-manship sounds horrrrrendous! uck. Just….uck!
You’re so much cooler. True story.
And these 100 grand krispy treat bars are like…little bites of heaven. And no one can compete 😉
Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says
I cannot stand one-uppers. Foodie ones are kind of the worst. I really hope you make it, you’re made for TV my friend!! 🙂
Averie @ Averie Cooks says
Candy bar week! LOVE THAT! You and me both with the candy recipes. May as well enjoy it, right! 🙂 These bars are lovely. I have a real fondness for anything Rice Krispies-ish! And 100 Grand Bars. SUCH a great, under-used bar!
Sylena says
I am old enough to be your mother but would probably be your best friend. Just wanted to say I love your blog. Thank you for being true to you and not changing as you get more popular. It’s so nice to read a blog with an actual recipe with each and every post and not an ad etc. Rooting for you for the upcoming food network show!
Sophia @ NY Foodgasm says
WOW I love this one too! great idea putting these on top of rice krisie treats! YUM!
Sophia @ NY Foodgasm says
I also LOVE your story about your audition, LOL! I auditioned last year and totally felt like I had no chance compared to like real chefs and some of the people were already on TV. Oh well. I am gonna do a video submission this year.
Jess @ On Sugar Mountain says
OMG HAYLEY I WILL TOTALLY WATCH AND ROOT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE ON THERE! Usually the people (aka foodie one-uppers) drive me nuts on there, but you could totally win and show them what’s what. 😀 Good luck I’ve got all my fingers and toes crossed for you!
Jess @ On Sugar Mountain says
OMG HAYLEY I WILL TOTALLY WATCH AND ROOT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE ON THERE! Usually the people (aka foodie one-uppers) drive me nuts on there, but you could totally win and show them what’s what. 😀 Good luck I’ve got all my fingers and toes crossed for you!
Jocelyn@Brucrewlife says
Haha, I’m so glad I wasn’t there to witness that display of retardedness!! You my friend, definitely deserve your own show!! And this bark, holy mother of all things good-YES!!
Jennifer @ Not Your Momma's Cookie says
Ugh – how pretentious! I’d love to watch you on TV – you would be that awesome person that would talk about how cray cray everyone else is acting – that is always that one sane person 😉
These bars sound awesome!
Lauren says
Do you think this would ship well for Christmas?
thedomesticrebel says
Hi Lauren! I believe so, yes! Just make sure it’s airtight.