A few days ago, a coworker and I were headed up to the lunch room when she stopped to use the bathroom. I told her I’d just meet up with her and I continued on my merry way through the eerily quiet rows of cubicles.
After sitting down to eat my gourmet frozen meal, she came in and said “you’re a loud walker! I could hear you walking all the way down the hall.” At which point I looked down at my feet, clad in ballet flats and most certainly not Frankenstein-style boots, and frowned.
“How do you know it was me?” I asked suspiciously. Surely I couldn’t be the only one responsible for having a heavy step around here.
“Because everyone’s at that employee picnic. Duh,” she replied, and in that same instant, crushed my every hope of being graceful.
My whole life I have dreamed of being graceful. I’ve been creepy and watched people’s movements and gestures and have always admired those who gesticulated with purpose, who seemingly glided as they walked, and who had excellent posture. I took years of dance and spent years of being a posture-stalker only to be woefully inadequate in the grace department and clomp around like a bull wearing platforms inside of a china shop.
And sadly, I have been reminded of this imperfection before. In our old house we had tile and hardwood throughout, so when I walked around before people had woken up, they would always tell me they could “hear me” even if I hadn’t said a word. And when I’d spend the night at friend’s houses and would have to tiptoe down the carpeted hallway to the bathroom, it sounded like I was dragracing.
I mean, I don’t know how a woman’s feet can be so friggin’ LOUD but holy crap, my walk is seriously deafening.
So now I am UUUUUBER self-conscious of my rhinocerosesque gait when walking around upstairs. I’ve even resulted to tiptoeing while holding my breath just so I can double-ensure that I’m not being obscenely loud in my existence. This usually means that by the time I reach my destination, I’m panting and sweating and coughing, trying desperately to catch my breath and recirculate oxygen to my brain, and my arches hurt from walking on my toes. The plus side is all this tiptoeing has resulted in really toned calves, which is almost worth the fact that I’m nearly asphyxiating myself to get them.
Anywaaaay, it’s time for you to barrel into the kitchen and make yourself these blondies. True to their name, they’re straight-up, in yo face HEAVENLY, girlfran’, and if you aren’t eating them in the next hour I may have to bulldoze down your door and dropkick you with my lead foot.
*inspired by THIS recipe, originally inspired by Averie
- 2 pkgs refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough
- 2 jumbo Hershey's cookies + cream chocolate bars
- 1 (7 oz) jar marshmallow fluff/cream
- About 20 donut holes, halved
- About ½ cup chocolate icing (canned works!)
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8x8" pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Mist the foil with cooking spray.
- Gently press ONE (1) package of the cookie dough evenly onto the bottom of the pan. Top with the chocolate bars, breaking the pieces to fit as evenly as you can to cover the surface of the cookie dough. Top with an even layer of the marshmallow fluff.
- Top the marshmallow fluff with the halved donut holes, covering the surface evenly. Lastly, break apart and spread the remaining package of cookie dough to cover the tops of the donut layer. If the donuts peek through, that's okay.
- Bake for approx. 25-28 minutes or until the top is golden brown and mostly set. Allow to cool completely at room temperature before putting in the fridge to set, about 2 hours. They really DO need to set in order to come together, or else they'll be a gooey mess (not as good as it sounds).
- After it's cooled, drizzle on some melted chocolate icing for extra garnish 🙂
- Cut into bars and serve! Store covered, airtight, in the fridge.
So here’s the lowdown on these amazeballs donuts in Texas: they’re freshly fried donuts covered in fudge brownie pieces and marshmallow fluff. I meaaaaan.. hello sexy. These blondies take on those elements of the donut but are made simply by stacking all of the flavors and textures… and, of course, no frying required! They’ve got the fudge, the marshmallow, the donuts, and as a bonus, the buttery soft layers of cookie dough sandwiching everything together into one glorious blondie. They’re actually one of the best things I think I’ve ever made .. but that could be because I’m partial to donuts inside of blondies 🙂
Have a delicious day!
xo, Hayley
My oldest daughter is a “loud walker.” She is a swimmer and we say to her, “did you leave your flippers on?” Hmmm, I hope we don’t hurt her in the long run, LOL!!! Love these blondies!!
Donuts in a bar? What?!?!? Your walking sounds like my husband. Just wish he would whip up these as his other talent.
Don’t worry, I am a load walker too! I pound and I just can’t help it! LOL!
These bars are insane girl! I love them!
I have two kids that are loud walkers. They don’t even realize they do it. These blondies are incredible looking!
An I an idiot or is when to apply the icing missing in the recipe?
I’m the idiot! I’ve fixed it 🙂
Well, there are certainly worse things than being a loud walker! I think your ability to make insanely creative delicious treats more than makes up for it! These look rad, girl!
WHY AREN’T THESE IN MY (ALSO CLUMSY) LIIIIIFE *sob* They’re just *wheeze* so *hiccup* BEEEEAUTIFUULLLLL :’O
Your story made me laugh. Are you flat footed? Usually they (including me) walk louder because well.. it’s more flat! My husband is sometimes like “You’re so loud” when walking. Then carry me!
I want these blondies! Every single one of them! *Runs away with them*. *You run after me* Everyone wonders why those girls running are so loud. 😉
I am only a loud walker when I’m mad. LOL
I have really high arches so it takes a lot of effort to make em loud!
LOLOL!
And donuts should always be in blondies! Genius!
We have all wood floors at home…I walk loud and always with purpose! The kids know I’m coming. But I would run if I knew these were at the end of my jaunt.
Well, I for one love your rhinoceresque walk. Haha! I love you, mostly because you’re nuts.
Also, these bars? Seriously. Just genius.
I scuff my feet. Deal with it peeps. Also- donuts in a blondie bar? You are pure genius.
A rhinoceresque walk? Now that I want to hear! And these bars…blondies and donuts combined….come to Mama!
Good lordy, girl! These are pure evil.
My sister is a loud walker…but I love her for it! I always know when she’s here! And these blondies? DELICIOUS. How could they sound or look any better? Thank you for sharing!!
Well, I’m not a loud walker, but I can definitely identify with not being graceful. I trip over my own feet, usually when I’m a room full of people. But I wouldn’t care if I had some of these donut blondies.
I’m not graceful either, especially when I had to wear heels at work. Torture!
These blondies are pure decadence, for sure!
Now there’s a mouthfull. These look so yummy, thanks for sharing
My hubby constantly calls me out on my loud walking. I like to make my presence known I guess? LOL This looks INCREDIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I have big ol stompin feet too! And I think these might be the best things you ever made too! So can we just be best friends now and go stomp around stuffing our faces with these blonides?!
Wow absolutely awesome as usual! amazing
I am the furthest thing from graceful…and I don’t know how you do it,,,your creations are sheer genius
These sound amazing and so full of goodness! Love them! 🙂
Well, I never heard your “loud” walk when I was around you, so it must have been a ghost or someone else that she just didn’t know about! But if it makes you feel any better, my husband and kids call my walk the elephant walk. Apparently I am a heavy walker too. Why do they say an elephant? Because I have very dry feet…which they say is like elephant skin. See what I live with? I think we both need a pan of these amazing blondies to block out all walk talk!!!
I just don’t even know which part of this recipe I like best – every inch of these blondies sounds like heaven for sure! Gahhh so much for trying to be healthier as the fall sets in. 😉
Just made these and they were a hit! I loved them and can’t wait to try another recipe soon!