We have this family friend who staunchly claims that her half brother is in an extremely popular boy band that has to do with a “single direction.” She claims this boy band member supposedly knows she exists and they’ve met and talked before, but aren’t close because of some past parental drama.
However, she never mentions this around anyone other than my sister. And if you ask her about it, she’ll clam up and get defensive. We’ve asked her to call him, asked her to text him or bug him or get us free concert tickets, but every time, she comes up with some reason why she can’t get ahold of her international-superstar half-brother. Or how he “doesn’t like to be bothered.”
I totally feel bad for this girl because I know what it’s like to desperately want to sound cool in front of someone YOU think is super cool. Whenever my sister brings up her friend’s “single direction” half-brother, I just have to cringe because it brings back my own bad memories of desperation.
*~*~*~*~Flash backward~*~*~*~*~ to 2001ish, me spending the night at my best friend’s house. My best friend was SO cool, and I felt like a total square compared to her. She had the coolest, cutest Abercrombie clothes, and she had tons of awesome Keroppi stuff from Sanrio. Even her mom stocked the fridge with cool food. I just felt like a lamewad in comparison.
Anywaaaay. I had been feeling pretty inferior while hanging out with her after she showed me her new Abercrombie clothes and some cool Keroppi stuff her mom had gotten her. And I figured, I can’t very well conjure up some trendy clothes or Sanrio stuff at will, so why not improvise on something else? That’s when I remembered the brand new Limited Too catalog tucked in my overnight bag. I pulled it out and splayed it on the bedroom floor. On the cover were twin brunettes wearing fuzzy earmuffs and puffy jackets and laying on a fake bed of glittery snow. What came next was purely instinctual, like my ego trying to protect itself.
“These are my cousins,” I said.
“What? Really?” my friend asked.
“Oh my god, your cousins are models?” her sister asked.
“Yeah!” I exclaimed.
Next, the girls barraged me with questions. Family lineage type stuff (“so they’re your mom’s sister’s daughters?”), age, how they were discovered, if I got Limited Too discounts, why I didn’t model, etc. I made up all the answers on the fly trying my hardest not to smile at the ridiculousness of my lie, but without appearing too serious as one is usually not solemn when talking about their modeling twin cousins. The last thing I wanted was to be lying about my celebrity cousins, whatever their names were (shit, did I say Megan was on the left, or Kristen?!)
After awhile, I figured I’d gotten away with it. The girls never mentioned my cousins again, and we continued to hang out. Fast forward to the next day when my mom arrived to pick me up. I had slung my overnight bag over my shoulder and was saying my goodbyes to my friend when her sister appeared, obviously unsettled with this famous-cousin hub-bubb because WHY WOULD I LIE about having model cousins!?!?!?!, held the catalog up to my mom’s face and asked, “are these Hayley’s cousins?”
To which my mom, clearly oblivious to the fact that she was about to shatter my coolness into a million shards of shame, snorted and said no. My friend looked at me and then her sister and they began to laugh. I began to turn beet red and wish that aliens would abduct me right there, or perhaps I’d be trampled by a stampede of angry rhinos. Alas, no aliens or rhinos showed up, so I just stood there looking like an asshat, blushing feverishly as my whole imaginary coolness dissipated in front of my eyes.
And that’s why you should never lie about knowing someone famous. Or knowing someone you don’t actually know. Because while I will inwardly think you’re full of BS, there is someone out there who will call you out on it and make you forever scarred. Also, don’t lie in front of moms because they suck at lying and won’t pretend you’re related to models.
This all has to do with mojito cupcakes because after telling this story I want one badly. There’s a restaurant nearby called Yardhouse that I am OBSESSED with, and they serve the most amazing pineapple mojito EVER. It’s tart, sweet and totally refreshing, and it was something I knew I had to recreate into a plush, fluffy cupcake.
No lie, friends: this cupcake is gonna make me famous.
- 1 box white cake mix, plus ingredients on back of box
- 2 Crystal Light Mojito drink packets
- 2 tsp lime zest
- ½ (8 oz) can crushed pineapple, drained
- 1 tub Cool Whip Vanilla Frosting, thawed
- Mint leaves
- Crystal sugar, optional
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Prepare the cake batter according to package instructions. Stir in the two packets of mojito drink mix + the lime zest to combine.
- Bake the cupcakes for approx. 13-15 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool completely.
- Gently fold the crushed pineapple into the Cool Whip Frosting to combine. Add more or less to suit your taste; I found half a can was perfect. Just make sure it's drained well so it won't water down the fluffy whipped frosting.
- Pipe the frosting onto the cooled cupcakes. Garnish with a mint leaf and crystal sugar, if you'd like. Serve immediately and store leftovers in fridge.
I don’t really need to say anything except this is exactly how I feel about these cupcakes:
Kayle (The Cooking Actress) says
OMG the chick with the one direction “brother” I forgot about that! I love your story Hayley, you were so cute. I told everyone I owned a horse at my great grandma’s farm…or that I was secretly Sailor Moon. Depends on the age we’re talkin’ about.
Shit that is fresh, hahahaaa
Haha, mentally note, don’t lie about my relatives, got it! These are really fun cupcakes Hayley! You are making want a cupcake and a mojito for breakfast!
Awwww! I feel so bad for little 2001 Hayley. That probably sucked a lot. Also, HAHAHAA! You dork.
Jennifer @ Not Your Momma's Cookie says
LOVE the Bridesmaids reference!
I don’t know anyone famous at all – I’ve never even met anyone famous. It seems like most people have that awkward picture of them and some celebrity they found randomly on the street. Not me 🙁 My closest claim to fame is that I was in a co-ed honor fraternity in college with a girl who is now married to a pro golfer. So, I’m like, what, 2-3 degrees from Tiger Woods? Which is sad, because I don’t even like Tiger Woods.
These cupcakes totally make up for the lack of celebrity in my life though 😉
Julie @ Julie's Eats & Treats says
Oh Hayley don’t you hate those moments and wonder why you can’t go back and undo them to this day? Or why the ground didn’t swallow you up? Ahhh teenage years. Wouldn’t go back for anything! These cupcakes look amazing and I can see why you are obsessed with that Mojito! YUMMY!
Stacy | Wicked Good Kitchen says
Your Pineapple Mojito Cupcakes are going to make you more famous than your pretend Abercrombie model cousins, that’s fer shure! 😉 Loved reading this story with the Bridesmaids reference, Hayley. Thanks for sharing!
Nicole @ Young, Broke and Hungry says
I think every young girl has at least one story where she lied to sound cool. Mine was I was related to a royal family…haha. Unfortunately, i didn’t grow up to be as cool as you with your mad baking skills.
Mimi @ Culinary Couture says
LOL at the reference to Bridesmaids! That is just perfect!
Kelly @ hidden fruits and veggies says
I know that feel, girl and it makes me want to dive right into these cupcakes. I went on a cruise to the Bahamas last year, and a pineapple mojito was my drink of choice on the ship — I just want to eat a dozen of these and pretend I get to be on vacation. Plus there’s fruit in them! So. Healthy and stuff.
Mr. & Mrs. P says
Beautiful!! These cupcakes must have so much flavor! YUM!
Miss Messy says
Super Bridesmaids reference! Love these!
Pamela @ Brooklyn Farm Girl says
Loving thees cupcakes, they look fresh, summery and make me want to hold one in my hand to feel comfortable enough to dance.
Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says
You just described Jordan…and everything that comes out of her mouth. Never believe her, BTW.
We need to go back to yard house for that mojito. I NEED IT.
Zainab @ Blahnik Baker says
Hahhahah! Love your bridesmaid reference. I didn’t get that creative in high school with my lies. These cupcakes will definitely make you famous. Great summer flavors!
Heather @ French Press says
um,I pretty much think you already are famous!
Sophia @ NY Foodgasm says
Love the Bridesmaid’s reference and what a great summer cupcake idea! Yummmmm!
Lisa @ Wine & Glue says
These look awesome Hayley! Do you torture your mom with this story and make her regret the day she didn’t recognize her OWN nieces on the cover of a magazine??? You totally should.
Georgia @ The Comfort of Cooking says
Good god, girl! I NEED these! Such an awesome flavor.
Heather @ Sugar Dish Me says
Hahhahhaahhaaa I heart Kristen Wiig. That was the best story. You are not alone. I think everyone lied to try to be cool as a kid. Except me. I was already cool.
Juuuuust kidding. I was the un-coolest.
These cupcakes WILL make you famous!!!
Stephanie @ Back For Seconds says
What a fun flavor combo!
PS: I totally lied about everything when I was a kid. Like seriously everything. Not even to impress people though…I just did it for kicks, lol! I swear I’m totally normal and honest these days 😉
I want a cupcake.
Those look AMAZING! I am going to have to try them out this weekend!
Elizabeth @ Confessions of a Baking Queen says
Me and my sister lied to our baby sister, we told her we had an older sister in college so we never saw her. Ha seriously who lies to your sibling about another sibling!?! LOL me apparently. And these cupcakes look like get in ma belly right now! Shit, that is fresh- is right!! They look perfect!!
What size crystal light mojito packets?? The pitcher packets or single seving packets?? Thank you recipe sounds amazing
Hi Patty! I could only find the pitcher size, so I used those! 🙂
Question, does the recipe means that I only need 4 oz of the pineapple? Like 1/2 of the 8oz can? And is cool whip frosting different than cool whip topping?
Thanks!!! Can’t wait to make these!!!
Hi! Yes, only 4 oz (or half of an 8 ounce can). And Cool Whip Frosting used to be a product they sold, but it’s since been discontinued. Just use regular whipped cream or Cool Whip topping.