Because while this cake looks kinda frumpy and fat and weird, it actually tastes really good.
Also, maybe I shouldn’t describe my food as “frumpy”, “fat”, or “weird.” Probably not the best descriptions I could use for something edible and delicious, but whatever, don’t judge me.
When I was a kiddo and my mom would go grocery shopping (which was like, nightly since she hated cooking and we rarely had stuff to make dinner on hand, so we’d all trek up to the store and buy frozen food or little fixings to make tacos or mac and cheese with lil smokies), I alllllwaaaaays would swing by the bakery because they’d give me a free cookie.
After a certain age, however, I guess my cuteness factor wore down to the nubs and I wasn’t offered free cookies anymore. They’d kind of just look at me and ask where my mom was because they had to ring up the cookie. Like, what gives, bakery lady? How do you know I am “too old” for a cookie? What is considered “too old”? And is it because I look old? Because if you’re judging me based on my looks I’m totally suing you for discrimination.
Okay, I probably didn’t think those things at the moment, but I am totally lamenting the fact that I never told that bakery snob what-for.
Anywhooo, on one of my cookie-denial trips, I spotted cream puffs in the bakery case. I was immediately drawn to their puffy, flaky outer layer sprinkled with powdered sugar, and that fluffy, luscious whipped cream filling. Suddenly, questionably-free cookies weren’t so awesome anymore. I had a new crusade to fight for: the cream puff.
So since the bakery discriminated against me and my free cookie, they sure as hell weren’t gonna give out free cream puffs, so I left that up to myself to obtain by begging my mom incessantly for one. I’d ask and ask and asssssskk over and over and overrrrr until she finally agreed. Watching them box up the puff in that clear container was torturous, as were each moment leading up to my first bite of that heavenly pastry.
….and then it was kinda all downhill from there. Everytime we’d go, I’d ask and my mom eventually was like “dude, you have a problem” and I insisted I didn’t and started scratching myself all over and she was like “no, really. Your cream puff problem is taking over your life” and I’d twitchingly reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” and she’d say, “I can’t afford this habit anymore. You’re on your own” and I was like “BUT I’M A KID. An UGLY kid who no longer gets free cookies. THIS IS MY DRUG I NEED IT DAMN YOU” and she’d be like “shut up and stop screaming in the store” and then I would start crying and convulsing on the floor, clearly having painful withdrawals and she’d be like “whatever, I’ll be in frozen foods.”
So my cream puff addiction was abruptly cut off and I was forced to quit it cold-turkey… until now.
Friends, this cake is the epitome of a cream puff, but in cake form. It’s light, airy, luscious, fluffy, rich, sweet and all the lovely things that embody a cream puff, but like, eleventy times easier to make and like a billion times easier to eat since it’s baked in one pan and cut into convenient puffy squares.
Take a bite.. but be warned, you may have to fight other cream puff addicts for the last piece.
- 1 pkg refrigerated sugar cookie dough
- 1 large box instant sugar free/fat free vanilla pudding mix
- 3 cups milk
- 1 (8 oz) pkg cream cheese, softened (can use low-fat)
- 1 (8 oz) container Cool Whip Free, thawed
- Chocolate syrup
- Powdered sugar
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Liberally grease the bottom and sides of a 13x9 inch baking pan with cooking spray.
- Spread the cookie dough in an even layer along the bottom of the pan. Bake the cookie dough for about 15-20 minutes or until lightly golden brown and center has set. Allow the cookie layer to cool completely.
- Meanwhile, after cookie has cooled, beat together the pudding mix, milk and cream cheese with an electric mixer until smooth and most of the lumps have been incorporated. Spread this mixture on top of the cooled cookie layer.
- Spread the Cool Whip on top of the cream layer. Allow the cake to set in the fridge up to 4 hours or overnight (overnight preferred) before drizzling with chocolate syrup and powdered sugar and serving.
*recipe slightly adapted from Lil Luna
Ermagerrrd, folks. This cake is insanniiityyy. I, for one, am a sugar cookie fiend, so I LOVE the easy adaptation of the sugar cookie base for this cake. It’s sweet, chewy, and soft, but still holds that creamy filling really well. I love that the addition of cream cheese makes the filling not too sweet, but still very cream puff-esque. I’m 99.945873658735% (which let’s face it, means 100%) sure you’ll DIIIIE for this cake.. and won’t need to risk embarrassing yourself at the grocery store.
Have a delicious day!!