Dear California Weather,
Hi. I have some qualms with you. First of all, I won’t start this letter off by saying “it’s June, how come it’s raining?!” because those people who complain that it’s raining and prefer the sun’s intense heat and rays clearly have some issues.
In fact, this weather is AMAZING. Chilly, breezy, slightly (and lately very) overcast? The occasional drizzle and sprinkle, leading to a calming rainstorm? PER.FEC.TION. I love waking up one day and snuggling up in a sweater under the blankets, and the next day, I like being able to enjoy the sunshine and a cooling breeze as I walk Mannie in shorts and a sweater. That little sometimes overcast, sometimes not, but always pleasant weather is my FAVORITE.
Know what isn’t my favorite? Teasing us with days of drizzles, sweaters and casseroles and then BAM, 104 degrees.
You, Mother Nature, are a friggin’ sadist.
I mean, at least give us some mercy transitional period, for crying out loud. 67 and raining one day, 72 and sunnier the next, then 76, then 78 for like, five weeks, and then maybe 80, and then you can go be an a-hole and turn up the dial to the upper 80s and 90s. But raining on Tuesday and 104 on Wednesday? Jeez. Who pissed you off today?
I am just trying to comprehend how I can be in furry socks making chili, and tomorrow I’ll be ripping my skin off in front of a high-powered fan while laying on a quickly-melting bed of ice.
And okay, I get it: it IS June. It’s supposed to be hot and miserable and sweaty, which is why I positively loathe summertime. The clothes aren’t cute, everyone is sweating so it smells like I’m walking in a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup, and there is an influx of gross feet everywhere I turn, not to mention the fact that my hair sticks to my face and makes blinking difficult since sweat is always getting into my eyeballs.
But liiike, if you’re gonna bless us with a nice day, do it in a classy way, would you? Not all “snuggles in front of a fire!” to “BURN BITCH BURN” in a matter of hours. You’re kinda sorta now on my hate list along with monkeys, flip flops, and Lea Michele. I kinda want to punch you in your naturey face.
Anywaaaays, now that I am permanently wearing bikinis and living on the face of the sun, I figured it’d be beneficial to make a yummy, no-bake dessert to help me chill off and not die of dehydration. I have seen many recipes on the interwebs using cookies, and ice cream/Cool Whip to make easy cakes, namely this one from Averie, which I used as inspiration for this cake.
If you look up ‘simple’ in the dictionary, there will be a picture of this.
Made in minutes, four ingredients (five if you wanna get snappy and count sprinkles), and an instant chill-down when the sun is beating down. What more do you need?!
Answer: a fork.
- 4 pkgs (total of 8 toaster pastries) Red, White and Berry PopTarts -- you can substitute any other flavor of PopTart if you'd like
- 2 (3.4 oz) pkgs sugar free/fat free instant vanilla pudding mix
- 2 (8 oz) tubs Cool Whip Free thawed
- 1 cup blueberries
- Sprinkles, if desired
- Line a standard-sized loaf pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Mist the foil lightly with cooking spray, for added cake insurance.
- Place two PopTarts (unwrapped, of course), horizontally side by side in the bottom of the foil-lined pan. If two struggle to fit, cut one of them to fit.
- In a large bowl, gently fold together the dry pudding mixes and the Cool Whip containers until blended. Work quickly since they will solidify on you pretty fast. Spread about half of the mixture on top of the first layer of PopTarts.
- Lay down another layer of PopTarts, and continue to spoon the mixture over the layers. I built up to four layers in my cake. Finally, top the remaining layer of PopTarts with the remaining pudding mixture.
- Coat the top of the cake with sprinkles and blueberries. Freeze the cake for about 4 hours (overnight preferred) before cutting into slices. Serve immediately!
This cake is completely versatile, which I LOVE (I’m an options kinda girl). If you can’t find the Red, White and Berry PopTarts (exclusive for the Fourth, I believe–I found mine at Target), you can substitute any flavor of PopTarts you’d like. My next choice would be wildberry or strawberry. You could also change up the pudding flavors to mix things up — banana pudding with strawberry PopTarts would be awesome, or pistachio pudding with cherry PopTarts for a spumoni kick. Whatever you do, you’ll enjoy the refreshing slice of this easy cake!!