He hath returned with a big, creepy, bird-like vengeance.
Furby and I go waaaaay back, let me tell you.
I remember seeing the Furby commercials and flipping my little kid shiz. I wanted some ugly square contraption of fur that giggled and burped cheerfully. I wanted my friends to have Furbies so our Furbies could communicate and we could have Furby-themed sleepovers in which we played well into the night with our pet Furbies, feeding them by pressing on their button tongue or scratching their weirdly robotic foreheads to hear them purr.
My mom, however, was hell-bent on destroying my Furby fantasies. She adamantly shot down my pleas for a Furby of my own, perhaps because moms have better judgment than their 10 year old daughters, but of course, I wanted a Furby so I wasn’t in the right mental state to understand I was being a lamewad idiot.
So she said I could buy my own Furby from whatever money ten year old’s make. And we stood in line for hours in the rain on Black Friday so I could get my Furby for $30. THIRTY DOLLARS. (Mind you, their regular price is $60 and that’s just like, illegal).
Anywho, so I finally got my Furbified paws on my own Dalmatian-colored fur monster. It lived inside of a cabinet in our house because throughout the night it was known to randomly coo and my mom didn’t like being woken up by random beeps and purrs from toys (weird) (also the reason why all my Tamagatchis probably went missing, dying from digital starvation in a slow and miserable fashion).
Things were going well with Furby until it wasn’t anymore and it was about time to break it off. First of all, Furby was getting pretty damn demanding for a toy, always needing to be pet and cared for. I was ten years old; hardly old enough to care for some mechanical bird creature. Second of all, I think my Furby was possessed from the get-go because it always made really strange noises. Little did Furby know those noises would lead to its demise.
…which happened shortly after receiving my Furby. It wouldn’t quit with those damn, high-pitched shrieks so I tried to shut it off one day. However, in my attempts, I must have awakened the demon living inside because it started wailing. NONSTOP. A high-pitched, weirdly nasal-y WAIL that didn’t break–not once. UUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH for minutes.
What first started a OMG I’M GOING TO PEE MY PANTS-series of cackles led to okay, now this is freaking annoying which led to the part where I literally beat my Furby to death. I threw it on the ground. I kicked it. Stomped it. Launched it from the swingset into the concrete driveway. And that demon toy kept UHHHHHHHing into the evening until finally it died. And there was silence.
And not surprisingly, an unsympathetic return policy for demon Furbies. Oh well.
Anyway, this has nothing to do with these cookies. But sometimes, people need to get stuff off their chest. You know? Oh yeah, and there’s potato chips in these cookies.
Dark Chocolate Toffee Potato Chip Cookies *inspired by Sally’s Sweet + Salty Potato Chip Toffee Cookies recipe
1 pkg dark chocolate cake mix
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
1/2 cup toffee baking chips
1/2-3/4 cup crushed ruffled potato chips
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with silicone liners or spray lightly with cooking spray. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, combine cake mix, eggs and oil until combined. Stir in dark chocolate chips, toffee chips and potato chips to blend. Portion dough in heaping Tablespoonfuls onto the prepared sheets, about 1″ apart. Bake for approx. 8-10 minutes, rotating pans halfway through bake time to ensure even cooking.
3. Allow cookies to cool on the pan for a couple minutes before gently transferring to wire racks to finish cooling. Store cookies airtight up to 3 days.
The combination of the super salty potato chips and the rich, bitter dark chocolate is an irresistible one! My family was actually pretty hesitant about trying these bad boys out, but once they took a bite, they were hooked. The buttery toffee is the perfect sweet balance between the deep, dark chocolate and the crunchy, perfectly salted potato chips. And I loved the extra addition of the pockets of dark chocolate chips, all gooey and melty. Delicious!!
Enjoy! Happy Monday!