Sugar Cookie Puppy Chow

I have never been a big fan of school.

School means homework, annoying classmates, (sometimes) bad teachers, buying school supplies you’ll never need (I’m looking at you, protractor, colored pencils and big pink erasers), and another year or semester standing in your way before you’re over.

As a kid, I grew exceptionally wise in my excuses for coming home early. Coming home early was my savior in a day full of too-hard math problems, boring sack lunches and recesses where my friends were being stupid. Coming home early was the light at the end of the seemingly infinite tunnel. Coming home early was my specialty.

Now, my parents were hardasses. They used to always say “unless you broke your arm or you’re dead, you can’t come home early.” I don’t know why it was limited to having a broken arm or being dead, as I have never experienced either (thankfully), but regardless, I made it work despite failing at arm breaking and/or dying.

I fondly remember in the second grade one day, I was being harassed by stupid children about my peanut butter + green jelly sandwich. If y’all don’t know, green jelly (aka apple mint jelly) is commonly used as a side for lamb. Ignorant of its real use, my family tried it one day and my brother and I have been feverishly hooked since. I eat it on everything and love it. However, as a kid, I was constantly harassed because it looked like “slime.”

So while battling a love of slime while trying to defend the jelly with justice, I kept thinking, “man, this would be SO much better if I could just go home early and eat my goddamned sandwich in some freaking peace. These children are ignorant” and lo and behold, some bumblebee decided my arm looked tasty and then, bam, I was stung by a friggin’ bee.

I calmly looked down at my stinger-pricked arm, picked up my half-eaten sammy, and walked to the office. I picked up the phone, turned on my Tear Face, channeled the pain I’d imagine one would experience when they were dying or breaking their arm, and called my dad. “Dad, I got stung by a bee. And it hurts,” I wailed.

Seconds later gratification, people. I went home early. And then, my dad took this picture. And then we went to the dump! Yay!

That right there, is the face of achievement. I didn’t die, bitches, but I got stung and I’m proud. Also, that PBJ was freaking delicious.

PBJs, this Sugar Cookie Puppy Chow, and bee stings don’t really have too much in common with each other, but that’s neither here nor there. I suppose they all remind me of school, which reminds me of Back 2 School Week, which reminds me that school lunches are always missing something in them that makes me look forward to it (besides green jelly and excuses).

I’m thinking they need something more than Cheezits or prepackaged brownies. Something covered in powdered sugar, smothered in sprinkles, and something that would make all them naysaying, green jelly-hating losers jealous. Something like a sugar cookie flavored puppy chow, perhaps.

Yes. Perhaps…

Sugar Cookie Puppy Chow *I’m not including “real” measurements on here since this recipe is totally adaptable based on how much YOU want. Use your discretion based on your tastes; just adjust the chocolate/mix/powdered sugar as necessary.

Goldfish Cupcake Grahams
Miniature marshmallows
PopTarts Strawberry Mini Crisps
2 squares white baking chocolate
2-3 Tbsp sugar cookie mix (just the powdered mix)
About 2 cups powdered sugar

1. Pour the powdered sugar & sprinkles in a large resealable bag and set aside. Melt the chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl until melted. Stir in the sugar cookie mix to combine.
2. Toss together the grahams, pretzels, marshmallows and mini crisps in another bowl. Pour the white chocolate mixture over the top and gently toss to thoroughly coat it. Pour the coated mix into the plastic bag. Seal the bag, then vigorously shake it until everything has been thoroughly coated with powdered sugar.
3. Store the mix airtight for up to a week.

Now if this was in my lunch box, I’d be stoked. Tons of sweet and salty goodness, coated in my fave thing in the world: powdered sugar, and tossed liberally with sprinkles. This mix will make your kid the coolest on campus, trust me.

Have a great day!!

xo, Hayley

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  1. Look how pleased you are in that picture!!! I understand what it’s like to have people give you funny looks at lunch. My parents are Greek and they didn’t get that your are supposed to pack fun stuff for lunch! I got pickled green tomatoes in my lunch. Nothing shows you how much your mom loves you like pickled green tomatoes! I wish she knew about sugar cookie puppy chow!

    • Awh! I can imagine the mean looks kids probably gave you 🙁 but little do they know, Greek food is totally awesome! I love dolmas and pastistio, but when everyone around you is eating “normal” pbjs and mac and cheese, I can see it garnering some stares. Oh well, their loss!

  2. This post gave me flashbacks. KIds are soooo terrible and I don’t miss those days at all. I think even if I went back in time knowing everything I do now I’d still totally wimp out under the teasing taunts of horrible children. If only I had these treats back then, my school days would have been a bit sweeter 🙂

  3. Goldfish Cupcake Grahams and the Poptart thingeys – never even knew those products existed! Now I want them!

    And kids, so cruel sometimes. Sigh. As a mom, I am always thinking about this.

    Green jelly rocks, too!

  4. ha, your bee sting story is awesome! i actually used to love green/mint jelly as a kiddo, but i haven’t eaten it in ages. may have to pick up a jar. =) this puppy chow looks + sounds awesome, by the way!

  5. Wow mini poptart bites in puppy show, that’s something new and delicious sounding.

  6. Yum, this combination looks so good! I love the photo of you as a kid! You are so creative with your puppy chow variations!

  7. I’m trying not to be like the obnoxious kids you ate lunch with, but peanut butter and apple mint jelly? Are you insane?

    My goal was to fake being sick and skip school altogether. I knew that once I got there, I was stuck.

    Love your crazy puppy chow! How fun!

  8. I don’t want to be like those obnoxious kids you ate lunch with, but peanut butter and apple mint jelly? Are you insane?

    My goal was always to stay home sick. I knew that if I made it to school, I was stuck there.

    And I love your crazy puppy chow! How fun!

  9. I would have loved to have this in my lunchbox! My lunches rarely consisted of something this good!

  10. You were so cute! (And you still are, BTW.) I love all the stuff you put in this – the poptarts the goldfish – yum!!! Great recipe Hayley – and great work as an actress. 😉

  11. The puppy chow looks wonderfully sweet, sweet, saweeet! I am shocked you were calm after the bee sting – I stepped on a bee once and it hurt so bad I passed out, right there in the front yard!

  12. Ohmygosh, you were so cute! And I was the nerdy kid who actually LIKED school. Was I weird, or what??? And I totally love mint jelly! So maybe I’m still weird?? If so, I’m in good company. And this puppy chow mix?? Yeah, this will be making an appearance in Doodle’s lunchbox, for sure. He’s gotta impress those other kindergarteners, ya know?

  13. Dude, I’m right there with you. I hated school and my parents were hard asses too. In fact, I remember one day telling my Mum I didn’t feel well. She didn’t believe me and sent me packing anyway. I got as far as the bus stop before I spewed my guts out!

    Although, on the flip side, I was kinda a bad kid. There were times I skipped classes and other times I skipped school completely, until I got busted! Oopsies! I remember my school friends crying on our last day of school. For me, it was P-A-R-T-A-Y- time! Until I got my first real [read:crappy] job! :/

    I have no idea what goldfish cupcake grahams are, I’m assuming fish shaped little graham crackers? But love all the ingredients used. I’m totally digging how you’ve covered them in powderedd sugar and sprinkles. Happy times! And you’re so cute showing off your bee sting. Congratulations on survivng!! 😉

    • Haha yeah, I skipped a lot of class just by being “sick.” My dad was always a teacher at my school so I could never pull the actual ditching class part, just the falling ill card. And yes, Goldfish are (traditionally) fish-shaped cheese crackers, but they now make sweet ones, like chocolate and s’mores and pretzel and these cupcake flavored ones!

  14. I freaking LOVE this story!! I used to occasionally fake being sick if I forgot to do my homework or get a test signed (which happened a lot because I had as-yet-undiagnosed ADD and was always a bit scattered). I also occasionally used to fake being sick just because there was this great soup my mom only ever made when I was sick so I would fake it just for the soup. Totally worth it.

    • Oh man! I wish I had some awesome soup to fake sick for! If I was LUCKY my grandma would make me Campbells… but most of the time, she was kind of oblivious and would just take me through the McDonald’s drive thru for lunch lol.

  15. I think this would even get my daughter to school happily- and that my friend is a major accomplishment:) You’ve been the party princess this week – congrats

  16. How cute were (are) you?!? I love how proud you are in that photo! I just love your stories 🙂 i never would have thought to put mint jelly with pb, but maybe I need to try it!
    You know how I feel about puppy chow…my weakness! Gotta try this!


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