So… being a parent.
Many of you are, some of you aren’t. I am not, unless you can’t a three-legged dog who pees on everything, barks his head off and probably eats poop… which I’m guessing you don’t.
I have never really had that desire to have kids. Some people I know have it–they’re practically created to be mothers and fathers and are like, the ideal parent for a child. And they say they want four and the picket fence and yada yada… that’s great. I encourage GOOD people to procreate. People with passion and patience. People with kindness and love.
People who aren’t… me.
And when I tell people this, they get all weird on me, like:
“You don’t know what you want right now. You’ll want them.” Uh, frankly, I do know what I want right now and it isn’t a poopy diaper and a minivan full of soccer gear. Sorry, but if it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people who assume I will want this later and I’m too immature or naive to what I want now. I don’t make HUGE life decisions for you–or assume you’ll want to in the near future–so don’t do it for me.
“But you’re SOOOO meant to be a mom! You’d be such a great/fun/cool mom.” If under the guidelines of “meant to be a mom” you consider spending an exorbitant amount of money on frou-frou Betsey Johnson dresses with pterodactyls on them, having a no-tolerance barf policy and refusing to give up Midori cocktails and shlep around a diaper bag and a baby bjorn… which sadly, does not qualify under the “good mom” but under the “selfish, awful mom.”
“But you’re only saying that because you want to be selfish NOW. Once you’re pregnant, things change. Your priority becomes your child and you won’t feel selfish anymore.” If I could magically have a baby that looks exactly like all the good characteristics of my husband and I without going through pregnancy, I’d consider a child. But there’s something about morning sickness, outie belly buttons and forgoing my cute pterodactyl dress for NINE MONTHS that makes me say no thanks.
Plus, I think we’re looking at the wrong thing here. Pressuring someone who by no means WANTS to have a child into having a child is whack. I’m readily admitting to you that I’m selfish–maybe just for now, maybe for forever. I don’t want to be the embarrassed lady with the hollering infant in the store that causes everyone to stare–I want to pity her, then walk away and go about my normal life cussing my arse off and not worrying about young ears picking up on all the wrong words.
And helllooooo, I’m like admitting to being an unfit hypothetical parent and yet people still make excuses for me and tell me I should have a kid.
That’s kind of like someone saying “I make it my personal mission to kill every living plant in my house with severe neglect and a general laziness when it comes to my houseplant’s general welfare” and then you hand them a small pot of seedlings. Surrrriously?
Plus, in most ways, I’m still a kid. I mean, for crying out loud, I spend money frivolously, I want an ice cream cone tattoo and I still admit to reading my sister’s Seventeen subscription when it comes in the mail if only for the beauty articles. I’m not ready to give that up–or a possible future trip to Paris, or a clean house, or my wardrobe budget for onesies… and that’s okay.
Hell, if we’re being honest, I already have a kid–it’s me. And I am terribly high maintenance and probably have scared myself from having a miniature me. So I’ll just stick with taking care of Lil Hayley by buying me crazy jewelry and feeding me Circus Animal Cookie Pie because kids and kids at heart just can’t resist this stuff.
As you know, it’s Circus Animal Cookie week and I had to think outside the box–this pie is the perfect kooky concoction of everyone’s favorite pink & white cookies combined with creamy white chocolate and vanilla pudding. I promise you’ll love it!!
1 small box white chocolate instant pudding mix
1 small box vanilla instant pudding mix
2 cups cold milk
1 tub Cool Whip, thawed
About 1 cup Circus Animal Cookies, roughly chopped
1 9″ Nilla pie crust (do not discard the lid)
1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the white chocolate pudding, vanilla pudding and the cold milk together, just to combine. Quickly add in half of the Cool Whip, gently folding it into the pudding to combine.
2. Working gently yet quickly, fold in the chopped cookies. Spread the mixture into the bottom of the pie shell. Cover the pie loosely with the lid that accompanies the shell and refrigerate for approx. 3 hours.
3. Spread the remaining Cool Whip topping evenly over the pie filling and return the pie to the refrigerator to set for an additional hour. Once ready to serve, cut into slices and store leftovers covered for approx. 1-2 days.
This pie is sweet, creamy and has a pleasant surprise of the cookie chunks when you bite into it. I garnished mine with additional cookies because who wouldn’t? Pie is such a unique twist to feature this cookies, and hopefully you’ll think so, too.
Have a wonderful day!!