Usually, every Friday, I spend the night at Jessie’s house.
YESOMGOUTOFWEDLOCKSLEEPOVERS!!! I haven’t burst into flames yet and I don’t see any locusts so I’m positive the world isn’t ending because I’m spending the night at my BF’s, thankyouverymuch.
Also, if you must know, 99% of the time we fall asleep around 10PM watching Ghost Adventures soooooo… it’s obviously highly sinful and stuff.
Anywho, last Friday I packed my usual overnight bag complete with makeup, perfume & deodorant, and my work clothes, since I usually work Saturdays.
However, on Saturday morning, I was displeased to find I didn’t pack deodorant. NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NO DEODORANT!?
Okay, the world was ending after all.
Damn young adults and their sleepovers!! Bad things–like forgetting your BAN Unscented Glide-On Antiperspirant–happen!!
*Insert numerous cuss words here*
And I know most people would be like “omg, no sweat (pun intended), I don’t need it that bad. It’s not like I’m working out or something, and it’s only for a few hours so no biggie”, right?!
With my irrational fear of smelling bad threatening me EVERYSINGLEDAY I am constantly worried that at any given time, I could potentially smell like vegetable soup. And that’s a no-go. That’s why I use both deodorant specifically targeted to squelching odors ON TOP of an antiperspirant/deodorant combo. I’m triple-threatin’ under these pits, baby. I go hard.
So having forgot these at home? Alone, sitting useless in my bathroom? It’s like if Spiderman forgot to refill his webs, or Snooki forgot to put in her gravity-defying Bump-It.
Life becomes kinda sorta pointless and in my case, could become awfully stinky.
Of course, what’s a girl to do? I couldn’t very well open my bottle of body spray and shower in the smell–doesn’t work. I searched for some potential cures but found nothing–except… Jessie’s Old Spice deodorant.
“Use mine!” Jessie offered gleefully. I hesitated, opening the cap and taking a whiff of the blue gelatinous substance peeking at me from the red bottle. “It smells good!”
Yeah, it did smell good–spicy and sweet and woody and perfect–ON JESSIE. I remark frequently how good JESSIE smells. JESSIE… a BOY. I can’t wear boy deodorant. It’s like, braking a code somewhere or something.
But I was stuck between wearing boy deodorant and possibly smelling like a lumberjack dude, or stankin’ around soup-like and feeling miserable during my shift. Sooo… I went to the XY chromosome side for the day.
I figured, if I was gonna wear men deodorant, I may as well act like a boy, too. I’ve always dreamed of being a boy for a day–uh, hello, that’d be freaking sweet!!–so this was my chance, minus the whole genetics/operation/doodad-below situation.
I dreamed of walking into work with my boxers hanging out over the sides of my pants, wearing Vans sneakers and taping down my boobs. I’d wear a baseball cap–because ONLY BOYS CAN WEAR THEM (hear that, ladies?! I hate women in baseball caps!!)–and would forgo makeup in lieu of a really smashing mustache and beard combination that’d have the ladies alllll over my swagga.
Then I’d get on the level of my male coworkers and could talk about gross things and they wouldn’t question why they work with a girl who probably talks about bathroom jokes more than she should–it’d be the norm, cause I’d be a dude. And my name would be Hayden, because that’s kind of a boyish name I suppose and I don’t like male Hayleys (I’m looking at you, Osment) soooo…
And I’d have tons of girlfriends and smell like campfires and lust and would wear well-fitting jeans and would care about cars and stuff.
Until I realized I like being a girl and would just have to suck it up and smell manly for a day. So I slathered on the Old Spice and pretended not to notice when men sniffed the air and looked at me funny when I lifted my arms and I smelled like them.
How does this relate to Cinnamon Roll Blondie Bars? In no way, shape or form. Except that girls smell sweet and so do these. So I guess I made bars for girls only. Sorry boys.
But hey, I understand if boys need a day to pretend to be a girl and all. You know, to get out the urges or whatever. So if you’re a dude and planning a girl-day, may I suggest making these bars? And maybe wearing a pink apron? Also, take a picture of that, then post it to The Domestic Rebel’s Facebook page. Thanks!
1 box yellow cake mix
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
Cream Cheese Icing (canned or homemade), for drizzling
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 13×9 inch baking pan with cooking spray and set aside. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, mix together the brown sugar and cinnamon.
2. In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, eggs, oil, and vanilla with a wooden spoon until a stiff yet soft dough forms. Spread the dough evenly into the prepared pan using greased hands or a greased rubber spatula. Sprinkle liberally with the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture.
3. Bake for approx. 14-16 minutes or until center is set and edges are lightly golden. Allow to cool completely in the pan before drizzling with softened cream cheese (soften canned or homemade icing in the microwave for approx. 10-15 seconds or until slightly softened and a good drizzling consistency). Store leftovers airtight for approx. 2 days at room temperature.
Also, you may be able to get away with this as a breakfast coffee cake–just sayin’.
Have a great day!