So as you know, Jessie and I spent the weekend in San Francisco for our one-year anniversary this past weekend.
It was a wonderful trip, complete with really awesome food, tasty libations and of course, free entertainment, courtesy of the psychopathic bums and drug addicts littering the streets.
That, and getting lost in China Town and nearly fainting because they were selling fish parts and the smell was so outrageous, I felt like death was imminent.
But anywho, I experienced my first bar and I have to say…
Guys are IDIOTS.
First of all, Jessie and I went to the famed Tonga Room for some (very expensive) delicious drinks and had a fun time. Then, we decided to bar hop and head over to our hostel’s neighborhood to grab some drinks and see a free show Jessie’s friend happened to be playing that night. Small world, right?*
*yes, very small. Turns out, the people behind us in line at the Tonga Room lived in our town AND my neighbor was behind them in line. It was a Sacramento conference, apparently.
While I was drinking, Jessie stepped away from our teeny corner table to chat with his buddy, the lead singer of the cover band playing. I was minding my own business, sipping my way into deep melon-flavored oblivion while browsing Facebook on my iPhone, acting bored, when suddenly, I was approached.
He was a clean-cut, obnoxiously-minty smelling dude with glasses and spiky hair. And he was standing next to me, smiling, clearly putting out the feelers. “What are you drinking?”
“A Midori Sour,” I replied, looking back at my phone hoping that, in that instant, my Facebook app could be my knight in shining armor and allow me to escape this weirdo dude.
“How is it?” he asked lamely. How is it? Really? Now he was getting pathetic. I mean, come on.
“It’s… sour,” I decided, smiling tersely, and went back to my boring world of Facebook.
“So, do you have a friend with you?” Wintergreen-Man asked. I nodded and smiled. Finally.
“Yeah, my boyfriend,” I responded. And he was outta there so fast.
Meanwhile, Jessie was chatting away his friend while I continued to be bombarded with a very drunk man who had every intention of hitting on anything with a pulse but was far too inebriated to do anything but stumble around aimlessly and look positively ridiculous, and two older men who used my glasses as a conversation starter and proceeded to INSIST(!!) that there were some good looking other dudes at the bar, other than my boyfriend.
They said this while Jessie was inches away, ordering me another intoxicating concoction, laughing as this chubby old man put the moves on me and I sat there, desperately trying to shoo them away.
Finally, they left and my own boyfriend swooped in on me, saving me from another possible round of weirdo dudes, desperate for female attention.
Which brings me to my point: Guys are idiots, yes, but they’re not the only ones. The girls who actually fall for this crap are doing other females a serious injustice.
I mean, come on.
Maybe I’m being too harsh of a critic of these people. I have a wonderful boyfriend and they don’t have a wonderful someone, so they ask girls deeply engrossed in their Facebook app sitting in a dark corner with their BOYFRIEND what’s going on. Which is weird. And rude. And made me want to swan dive into my drink and hide behind the maraschino cherry.
Okay, so I’m not used to this scene. I’m a homebody, not a bar-hopping party girl. I like watching Real Housewives with a microbrew, lounging in my yoga pants, not hitting up strange dudes over cocktails (though the cocktails part with my own boyfriend was good fun). So basically, I’m only half-fancy. Comfort plus a little sass. Sounds good to me.
You know what else is comfort plus a little sass? These Funfetti Blondie Bites. They’re Funfetti blondies, cut into adorable, bite-sized squares, dipped in rich white chocolate, and topped with sprinkles. Fancy enough, right? And works in a pinch in recovering after creepy men hit on you and stuff.
I got the brilliant idea from Stephanie at Cookin’ Cowgirl and had to try them myself. My recipe is super simple because it starts from cake mix–see, semi-fancy.
Damn, I’m predictable. Oh well. Can I get another Midori Sour??
1 box Funfetti cake mix
1/2 cup oil
1 & 1/2 cups white chocolate chips
1 pkg white chocolate bark
1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a 13×9 inch baking pan with cooking spray and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, mix the cake mix, eggs and oil together with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula until a soft yet stiff dough is formed. Stir in the white chocolate chips. Press the mixture evenly into the prepared pan and bake until golden around the edges, about 14-16 minutes. Cool completely.
3. Cut the blondies into small, bite-sized squares and set aside. In a microwaveable bowl, melt the white chocolate bark according to package directions until smooth and melted.
4. Using a fork, coat one blondie bite at a time with white chocolate, covering it completely. Gently lift the blondie bite out of the white chocolate, allow the excess to drip off, then place on a foil-lined baking sheet. Immediately sprinkle with sprinkles or jimmies, then repeat with other blondie bites.
5. Allow to harden for approx. 30 minutes in the fridge or an hour room temperature, then store airtight up to 2 days.
Warning: these are sweeeeeeeet, so if you have a serious cake-batter craving that can’t be beat, whip these up and pretend to only be half-fancy. It works every time.*
*warning: this will not work against weirdos at Irish pubs–in fact, it may do the opposite. Just an FYI.
Have a wonderful day!!
May be linked to: Trick or Treat Tuesdays, Crazy Sweet Tuesdays, Cast Party Wednesday,Dwell On Friday, Mrs. Fox’s Sweet Party, Sweet Treats Thursdays, Tuesday Talent Show, Sweet Tooth Friday, Sweets for a Saturday, Strut Your Stuff Saturday