A few days ago, a friend brought to my attention some strange childhood memorabilia I’d repressed from my system for some time now.
It was kind of funny to remember the past for a second, until I got kind of sad and kind of WTF at the same time.
You know those feelings of sad and WTF. Usually they happen when you reminisce about strange childhood happenings or when you see really fat women squeezing into holey clothing at Walmart and you’re like “Awhh that poor wom–wait, wtf?”
Anyway. I’m a child of the 90’s so these things may or may not be remembered by you but they certainly are by me. If you don’t remember them, consider yourself mildly blessed because as far as I’m concerned, the 90’s produced very little worthwhile (myself being the exception, of course).
First, did you know Doug Funney’s voice is the same voice as Fry from Futurama? Really? Doug Funney is so innocent and cute and not at all like Fry who apparently, has the same voice. And on the same note of Doug, you should know that the entire time I watched it while it was aired on Nick, I was convinced Judy was blind because she always ONLY wore THOSE glasses. And she looked blind. So I couldn’t like her because she was blind. I know, I’m an awful human and have since been kinder to blind people and have since learned Judy was, in fact, not blind.
Second, do you remember the purple ketchup and the blue and pink butter (which seems to have fallen off the face of the internets for some unknown reason)? Um, WTF. Why? I never understood the use for purple ketchup, and even as a child I was adamant against such a weird concept. I’m a visual eater. I do not want to see blue goop dripping down my waffles and I cannot fathom dipping my precious French fries in black novelty ketchup. I thought parents had trouble getting their kids to eat food, so how would the solution be dipping their food in some foreign, rainbow-colored substance? It’s just gross.
Do y’all remember Surge soda? I remember our Taco Bell had this and I loved making “suicides” out of this. FYI, “suicide” is when you put all the sodas–INCLUDING the tea–in your cup and it makes a delightfully tasty concoction which I’m assuming is nothing like suicide but it has a catchy, oxymoronic name for kicks.
I also happened to be informed by a friend via Facebook that the alphabet, Ba-Ba-Black Sheep AND Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star ARE THE SAME SONG.
Don’t believe me? Have each one of your family members sing one song at the same time and hear it. It’s REAL, people. How did they trick us for so long? How did we let them get away with something like that?
How did we let them get away with making green ketchup and taking away our favorite suicide soda staple? How did we NOTKNOW Doug and Fry are the same person??
The world works in such mysterious ways.
I also would like to know how, a couple days ago, I got a random craving for pineapple. Because up until recently, pineapple and I were not friends. I did not eat it canned, nor fresh, nor juiced, nor stuffed in ice cream, cakes, or anything that may be influenced by this prickly fruit. No sir.
Forreal, though, you should make them. They’re reaalllly good and not weird or funky colored or anything. Promise.
1 box pineapple cake mix, plus ingredients on back of box
1 cup plus 2 tsp pineapple juice (canned or bottled, doesn’t matter)
1 small box pineapple jello mix*
Pineapple Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe & ingredients follow)
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 muffin tins with 24 paper liners and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, prepare cake mix according to package directions, substituting a cup of the water with a cup of the pineapple juice, reserving the remaining 2 tsp of juice for the frosting. Stir in half the bag of pineapple jello mix (just the powder). Portion into muffin tins, about 2/3 full, and bake for approx. 14-16 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool completely.
1 pkg (8 oz) pineapple cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup butter, softened
Remaining 2 tsp pineapple juice
2 heaping Tbsp brown sugar
About 5 cups powdered sugar
1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together cream cheese, butter and juice until creamy, about a minute. Beat in the brown sugar to combine. Begin adding powdered sugar, about a cup at a time, until frosting is light and fluffy.
2. Pipe or spread onto cooled cupcakes. Sprinkle tops with white sugar and top cupcakes with a lightly dried maraschino cherry. Store these in the fridge about 2 days.
**Note: If you can’t find pineapple jello (as it may be seasonal in some areas) just substitute with a sugar free/fat free instant vanilla pudding. Or you can omit both if you like.**
FYI, I have NO idea what the difference between “right side up” and “upside down” are, but I’m assuming it’s negligible and only noticeable among true pineapple lovers, for which I am not. However, if you’re looking for a refreshing cupcake that’s cute to boot, this is it. So tropical and delicious!
Have a wonderful day!