Alright, I’m a wuss.
Just thought you should know.
I act all big and tough but when it comes to the little things, I am just such a big, fat wussy when it comes to touching things.
Get your mind outta the gutter!
I mean touching bugs. And certain foods. And certain random things that, quite honestly, give me the heebie jeebies bad.
Like a few days ago, I spotted a centipede or something along those lines of disgusting in Jessie’s bathroom. Because I was in a half-asleep, half-hungover (yes) stupor, I only recognized the creepy crawler yet couldn’t manage to muster any strength (mental or physical) to take care of it.
(Sorry Jessie’s mom)
Even if I had been clear-headed and it wasn’t four in the morning, I couldn’t have picked it up. Why? Because I have problems with killing bugs. Creepy ones. Flies are no problem–I don’t mean to brag but modesty aside, I am a really good fly killer. Like sniper status. Give me a magazine, a swatter or even a shoe and they’ll be dead in seconds.
But spiders, centipedes, pincher bugs… whatever. Ew, noooooo.
And I could never understand people who could scoop spiders up in a cup and save them. Or people who could take a measly tissue and smash a bug.
A TISSUE?!?!?!! That’s hardly enough protection between my hand and this CREATURE inhabiting my house with its grossness.
I must have a magazine. And alas, Jessie’s bathroom has nothing around–not even a lonely, old newspaper–for me to kill a bug with. So I pretended it wasn’t there and went back to sleep. In bed, not in the bathroom. That would be weird.
And then there’s certain food. Uck. I really hate touching soggy food. Makes me cringe.
I have a 2-4 minute window of eating cereal. The second it gets soggy, it’s done-for. That’s why, when I eat cereal, I tell everyone around me I’m unavailable for the next five minutes so I can eat my cereal uninterrupted without risk of the bottom pieces going mushy.
And soggy bread, soggy meat, soggy whatever-else? NO WAY.
And no melted ice cream. *shudders*
I used to have problems with marshmallows ever since a Girl Scouts camping trip where our troop leader informed us that we should eat large marshmallows in several bites because death was imminent if a large marshmallow was eaten whole due to the 100% probability of choking.
Fearing marshmallows for um, EVER since then, I’ve kind of avoided the puffy pillows, fearing that even wrongly chewing a mini mallow would send me into a choking fit and I would suffocate and die.
I did see that 1000 Ways to Die episode where the hot girl choked on a marshmallow during a slumber party and died. That could have been me.
But I kinda got over it over time, and now me and marshmallows are cool. Not the best of buds, but close enough. So I wanted to pay tribute to them and remind them they’re still loved despite many years of ignoring them. What better way to celebrate a marshmallow than to stuff it in a chocolate-chocolate chip cookie and coat it in chocolate?
And uh, I had no problem touching these. Or five of them.
1 box chocolate fudge cake mix
1/2 cup oil
1 cup chocolate chips
About 12 marshmallows, halved crosswise
1/2 pkg chocolate almond bark
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease 2 cookie sheets with cooking spray, blotting excess with a paper towel. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, stir together cake mix, eggs and oil with a wooden spoon until blended and a thick dough is formed. Stir in chocolate chips.
3. Portion rounded Tablespoonfuls of dough onto your sheets, about 1″ apart, and bake for approx. 8 minutes, rotating pans halfway through baking time. Once 8 minutes is up, remove the pans and immediately press the cut-side of a halved marshmallow on top of the still-hot, slightly-underbaked cookie. Pop sheets back into the oven for an additional 1-2 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool on sheets for about 2-4 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely.
4. Prepare chocolate bark according to package directions. Dunk the tops of the cooled cookies into the melted chocolate, coating it completely. Put back onto the wire rack to harden. Store airtight.
Have a spectacular Sunday!!