1. Sometimes, after a long and particularly hellish day at work, school or what-have-you, I want nothing more than to get home ASAP and blast the nastiest, heaviest rap I have in my car and allow the bass vibrations to give me a makeshift massage. For this, I always enjoy recruiting Lil Wayne, Jedi Mind Tricks or Ying Yang Twins. Jessie also enjoys watching me rap these songs when we drive together. This is no time for modesty: I’m actually quite good.
2. It’s FINALLY raining here in Sacramento which means drought season is ovah and my driving pet peeves (no lights on, driving excessively slloooow) come out full-force. It also means I can bust out my loyal trench coat and pretend I’m Harriet the Spy like I did when that movie first came out and Rosie O’Donnell was actually relevant. Oh, Rosie.
3. Remember when I was talking about the $30 for 30 days of yoga? Instead, a few days ago I had a half cup of chili at work and was unfortunately informed of the calorie count and felt immediately disgusted, probably how one must feel if they catch their child smearing poop on the bed, or something. I raced home and popped in the only workout DVD I could find and unbeknownst to me, it was a P90X Yoga DVD. Weird.
4. Even weirder? I kinda liked it, weird buff-yoga instructor and yes, seriousness aside.
5. But I’m also super, ridiculously sore. Like, my abs cry every time I move or pretend to hide my mini muffin top. I think they’re crying for more yoga, but I shut their tears up with food and rest because that’s what I’m crying for and it is about me, isn’t it?
6. My birthday is in three days and I couldn’t be more excited–except for the fact that I have one more day of work AND my first day of school standing in my way of ordering my first drink. And after 20 years of putting up with annoying people, I’m REALLY looking forward to that, ahem–“first” taste of alcohol. Preferably Lost Coast Tangerine Wheat beer because um, I “heard” it was really yummy.
7. Also, when I inform people my birthday’s coming up, I have received minimal “happy birthdays” but MANY unsolicited tips on how to avoid hangovers and little cutesy songs about “beer before liquor, never been sicker” and whatnot. The cashier at Walmart even told me “you know the saying ‘tequila makes your clothes come off’? Well it’s TRUE.” Er, thanks.
8. A few days ago, I ran out of my beloved Flash eye shadow by Urban Decay and, not wanting to fork over a hard-earned twenty bucks for a stupid pot of purple shadow, I perused ULTA for shadows with no avail. Apparently, brands like Revlon and L’Oreal don’t believe in bright shadows. Hmph. So I headed over to Dollar Tree (AKA my stomping ground) and was looking for random things when I spotted a trio of bright shadows (a lookalike Flash included) and thought, why not? Well guess what: it works. REALLY well. And now I’m the cheapest beauty queen in all of eye shadow land!
9. After looking at a random ad in Cosmo one day and spotting a model gazing at the camera with a lazy eyeball, I am now obsessed with checking out the chicks in the VS catalogs for lazy eyes. Insecurity? What’s that mean? …
10. And while it was raining and while I was avoiding yoga (abs still hurting, you know) I made some fudge for y’all. To be specific: Salted Caramel Fudge. You should know it’s rich and decadent and really sweet but has that salty kick that’s pretty much perfect. And it’s basically two ingredients. Perfect after all.
After Shelly brought to my world her version of “2 Ingredient Fudge“, I’ve been obsessed with flavor combinations. I made Peppermint Bark Fudge for Christmas, and now I’m making this because salty and sweet make my world go round.
Salted Caramel Fudge *inspired by Shelly‘s fudge recipe
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 can caramel frosting (Duncan Hines)
Coarse sea salt or kosher salt
1. Line a 9×9 inch baking pan with foil, ends extended over the sides. Set aside.
2. In a large microwaveable bowl, zap the chocolate chips for one minute. Stir, then add a small shot (about a teaspoon) of vegetable oil for easier, smoother melting and pop the bowl back in the microwave for another 30 seconds-1 minute, checking at the 30 second marker and stirring until smooth and totally melted.
3. Stir the entire can of frosting into the melted chips until blended. Mixture will be VERY stiff & thick. Spread into the foil-lined pan in an even layer, greasing your spatula if needed to help it spread the fudge.
4. Sprinkle the top with sea salt and allow to harden and set for about 2 hours in the fridge or a couple hours on the counter. Store covered.
Have a fantastical Saturday!!