Because of the lovely holidays, my family is home on a teensy Christmas vacation from work and school.
So I know I’m supposed to be like “yay, I’m so glad I get to spend some quality time with my siblings and parents and yay we’re going to do fun things” but I’m not.
In fact, I really don’t like when they’re all home for extended periods of time.
Mornings before 7:30, evenings after 4:30 and weekends are enough, thank you.
Otherwise, my whole schedule is wonky.
Like SCREWED UP. They ruin everything.
I can’t vacuum the living hell out of my carpets every day because they’ll complain I just vacuumed yesterday, can’t it wait? and I certainly can’t buy food to feed a normal family of five since they eat a five-course meal for a snack alone, resulting in a humungo grocery bill each week they’re home.
While I love their company, I really wish I didn’t have to beg my dad to let me use the TV to watch my hideously addicting Real Housewives I’ve taped from earlier in the week. And I’d really love him not to comment on how it’s an “awful show” and question aloud why I watch “this garbage.”
I don’t complain when he watches baseball, now do I?
I JUST WANT SOME FREAKING QUALITY TIME WITH CAMILLE GRAMMER AND CRAZY TAYLOR, OKAY?
And to maybe talk out loud to myself when no one’s around because it’s impossible for my dogs to judge me.
And to listen to the same five songs over and over because no one will complain that it’s annoying or ask why I don’t like “good music.”
So, as it stands, I’m sharing my home with my family until the 3rd. After then, peace will be restored (as will my grocery bill) and the house can go back to its normal vacuumed, peaceful Real Housewives viewing self.
Until then, I’m wearing my new yoga pants and staying in the kitchen where I can tell people what they can and can’t eat (a secret favorite job of mine). However, because I’m such a nazi in the kitchen I figured I should sweeten their disappointments with treats of the S’mores variety.
Duh, I know I’m evil. No need reminding me of this.
This gem of an idea blossomed when I was standing in the atrocious line at Michael’s craft store a few weeks ago. Lo and behold, there sat a S’mores candy bar, composed of a chocolate bottom, a graham cracker layer, and some stripes of marshmallow fluff.
But seeing as the marshmallow is kind of a huge deal to a s’more, I thought it needed more of a starring role in this psychotic concoction. So I chopped up mini mallows and sprinkled them on top. It was a totally genius move.
Now if only I could think of a genius move to get my family to clean the house for me….
1 bag chocolate candy melts or 1 pkg chocolate bark
About 12 squares (the small ones you break off the sheet) of honey graham crackers
About 1/4 cup mini marshmallows, snipped in half with kitchen shears
White chocolate for drizzing, if desired
1. Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil and set it aside.
2. In a large bowl, melt the chocolate layer according to package directions, stirring until smooth and melted. Pour onto the foil-lined baking sheet and spread into a smooth, even layer of your desired thickness.
3. Next, gently press the graham squares into the melted chocolate in a row until the entire plane of chocolate is covered. It’s okay to leave cracks in between the chocolate. Lastly, sprinkle on the chopped mini mallows so they stick to the chocolate layer as best possible.
4. Pop the bark in the freezer for about a half an hour to harden before breaking into pieces. Store airtight.
Dreaming of a campfire in the dead of winter? This bark will satisfy that urge and quick. Best for me, since I’m dreaming of another camping vacay with my babe as farrrr away from this vacuum as possible.
Have a greaaaat Friday!