I haven’t been eating the healthiest lately, and my aversion to exercise is still in full effect. The consequences? Tiiiiight jeans.
Oh no I didn’t.
I can’t help that I’m positively ADDICTED to food. You know the phrase “Live to Eat/Eat to Live?” Yeah, I’m the first one.
Sometimes I wish I was the latter, like some people I know. They nosh on celery sticks and eat small portions and once in awhile nibble on something “bad” and then work out ferociously for hours.
But then I realize they have problems, like they smoke cigarettes or drink like they’re 16 again and it puts my inner-chubby-kidness into perspective.
Take your cigarettes and slutty party drinking. I’m going to go watch my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and have a date with this cinnamon roll.
Seriously. I LOVE FOOD. You with me?
Have you ever been in a group situation where there’s a TON of food and you’ve already got firsts and possibly seconds but still want more? Like at a party or Thanksgiving or a wedding? And you’re like, “obviously everyone is channeling their inner bird and only pecking at the food, so I should be the responsible fat ass and eat this food a third, fourth or fifth time over.” But you’re scared people will judge you for eating a lot?
Maybe? Maybe not? Well I feel like that.
I’ll be at a party and there’s like, platters and vats of food and everyone’s just snacking on chips and salsa and I can’t even listen to their conversation because I’m too busy plotting the best way for me to sneak in another 812 pinwheel sandwiches without anyone noticing (heads up: I freaking love pinwheel sandwiches).
Meanwhile, I’ll pretend to play it cool by asking whomever I’m talking to if they’re going to get some more food. I’m channeling my inner weird-high-school-girl-who-goes-to-the-bathroom-with-a-group by asking people around me to accompany me to the food table because I’m too ashamed to go alone for the fourth time.
And they’ll say “no” and I’m secretly cursing at them under my breath because WHY THE HELL CAN’T THEY BE FAT LIKE ME? Ugh, the world is such a cruel, cruel place!
Or if I’m at dinner at someone else’s house (seriously THE WORST) and I’m dying for thirds but it looks awkward since everyone is wrapping up seconds or barely finishing firsts and I’m thinking I was obviously born with a genetic imperfection that makes my stomach incapable of being full and thus making me incredibly needy for food’s embrace all the time–I’ll remind myself to blame my mother and father for their faulty food-related genes later.
So I’ll linger, maybe surreptitiously run the sides of the tines of my fork in the lingering sauce on my plate to obtain any extra calories I can without making it seem like I’m licking my plate clean–which is exactly what I’m doing, just in a classy way.
And when everyone leaves or declares, “wow, that was good; I’m soo full!” I’ll fake it and be like, “totally–I’m stuffed!” but NOT be stuffed.
I’m sure you’re all thinking I’m psycho and wondering why I don’t just speak up about still being hungry and saying ‘who cares’ when and if people judge me.
Well…. nevermind, I don’t have a witty response. I’ll just continue to wallow in my own hunger and food-loving-ness. I don’t need you!
Anyways, I made these Homemade Peanut Butter Cups as part of my “Week of Cookies” because peanut butter cookies are played and I wanted to recreate a favorite candy treat for my family and friends.
Wanna know why I really made these? Because while I don’t have a close, loving relationship with peanut butter–much less, Reese’s PB Cups–I know everyone else does. And I know people go bonkers for peanut butter cups and eat like, 23 in one sitting which is fine because their pig out balances out the food equilibrium and now I can watch them be fat.
Homemade Peanut Butter Cups *adapted from Brown Eyed Baker’s recipe here
1 pkg chocolate bark, divided in half (I used Candiquik)
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 & 1/4 cups powdered sugar
1. Line a mini-muffin pan with paper liners and line a baking sheet with parchment or wax paper and set them aside.
2. In a medium saucepan, bring together the peanut butter, butter and brown sugar over medium heat, stirring constantly. Once the mixture is smooth and completely melted, remove from heat and stir in the powdered sugar, 1/4 cup at a time, stirring well after each addition. The mixture will become very crumbly–that’s fine. Allow the mixture to cool completely.
3. Microwave half of your chocolate bark until smooth and melted. Spoon about a teaspoon of chocolate into the bottom of each muffin tin–set aside. Meanwhile, form teaspoon-sized balls of the peanut butter mixture with your hands, and flatten the balls slightly with your palms to form patties. Place PB patties onto the lined cookie sheet. You’ll need about 30-36. Make sure they’re small enough for the mini muffin liners!! Place both the muffin tin with the chocolate-bottomed liners and the PB patties in the fridge to chill, about 30 mins.
4. Now, zap the remaining chocolate until melted. Remove the patties and muffin cups from the fridge. Place one PB patty in each muffin cup and spoon another heaping teaspoon or so of chocolate on top of each patty, making sure you coat the sides of the patty as well. Repeat with remaining PB cups. Pop PB cups back into the fridge to harden, about 15 minutes or so.
5. Store airtight in the fridge, but allow to bring close to room temperature before eating for best–not melty–results.
I was skeptical about this recipe–recreating a PB cup? Yeah right! But they taste IDENTICAL to a Reese’s. Like whoa. One coworker even said, “Reese’s, eat your heart out.” Um, I like that guy. He’ll get about 975 more of these.
Have a wonderful Wednesday!