Yesterday I walked in on my mother… watching the American Music Awards.
It was about as shocking and surprising as I could get, as no one–I repeat, NO ONE–watches music television in this house.
Least of all her.
Least of all me, who decided by some alien force to sit down and watch a few minutes of it and belt out my rendition of The Band Called Perry’s one song, whatever it’s called, and inevitably mess up the words (you mean she doesn’t really say ‘Shab Nam’?)
Justin Bieber came on and my sister asked why he’s still relevant. Honestly, I didn’t really know he was still relevant. I mean, Ke$ha came and went in the same cloud of glitter and venereal diseases she came in with… so I’m kinda speechless as to why this dude is still around, but whatev, I don’t hate.
So here comes the part where I prove to the world I am a completely ignorant hermit, devoid of pop culture knowledge and any sliver of “hipness.”
While J.Biebs (his new nickname, fyi) was belting it out, he mentioned the word “shawty.”
Now, I’m fairly certain 99% of the population knows what ‘shawty’ means, even if they don’t understand it.
I’m guessing that’s what this whole occupy movement is about… everyone’s enraged that 1% of us are complete morons? Just kidding, I am part of no elite, except for possibly the elite of the musically challenged. That must be it.
I asked my sister in a brief moment of confusion and needing clarity what “SHARTY” meant.
And she laughed at me. A lot.
And my mom made a funny face and laughed as well. So I did, too.
My sister, ever-so-helpful, mentioned it’s not “sharty.” It’s “shawty.” Thankfully, my mom backed up my hermitness by being equally the ignorant music hermit and asked “like ‘shoddy’? Like crappy?”
Apparently it means girlfriend.
I’m gonna go out on a crazy thin limb here and say that something tells me being called ‘shawty’–something dangerously close to both words ‘sharty’ (that awful, awkward half fart, half …you know) and ‘shoddy’–is not a compliment in my book. Again, I may be out of line in saying this but I can think of plenty of things that can’t be mistaken for unfortunate bowel mishaps as pet names from my significant other.
So after my lesson in pop culture jargon and realizing I’m 20 going on 90, I baked some of these Butter-Toffee Pecan Bars and crawled back under my rock.
1 pkg butter pecan cake mix
1/2 cup melted butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped pecans
3/4 cup toffee baking bits or chopped toffee candies
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a 13×9 inch baking pan and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the cake mix, eggs, melted butter and vanilla with a spoon until a soft but thick batter forms. Stir the chopped pecans and toffee bits in by hand until blended.
3. Spread batter into prepared pan using a rubber spatula or spoon into a nice, even layer. Bake until golden brown, about 15-18 minutes, careful not to over-bake. Let cool completely while you prepare your frosting.
For Frosting & Topping:
2 Tbsp melted butter
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
2-4 Tbsp milk
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans & 1/2 cup toffee bits
1. In another large bowl, beat together melted butter, vanilla, milk and powdered sugar until a nice, thick icing consistency is achieved–make sure it’s easily spreadable. Add more milk to thin out if needed.
2. Spread icing onto your cooled bars in an even layer. Sprinkle with chopped pecans and toffee bits, and pop in the fridge to set, about 30 mins-1 hr. Cut into bars with a sharp, damp knife and store covered if needed.
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