You know, Virgo, Capricorn, Aries, etc?
Well, I am an Aquarius by birth, and quite frankly, pretty damn similar to all the traits and quirks astrologers say Aquarians are like.
This is kinda crazy knowing there are billions of Aquarians out there similar to me. In fact, it’s kind of scary. I don’t want there to be hundreds of thousands of people with any similarities to me. I want to be different. Is that so much to ask?
So if you’re trying for a baby, make sure they aren’t born between January 22 and February 20. Thanks.
I used to have an astrology book I’d received from Christmas one year. And every time I’d have a new crush on someone, I’d snoop their Myspace page and figure out their sign. Then I’d consult the book.
Through some trial and error, I realized I’m extremely turbulent with Cancer. I dated one for a year, and needless to say, the book knows what it’s talking about.
It also says some interesting things about Aquarians that are frankly, pretty darn accurate (for me, anyway).
1. Aquarians are intellects and individuals who do not succumb to trends or conformity. Damn straight. Let’s vent real quick: TOMS are dumb; I don’t like Justin Bieber’s music; AND I think bell bottoms should have stayed in the 70s. The end.
2. Aquarians love to vent their problems to others, but often shut people out when they need to vent. Sad, but true. Sure, you can vent to me all you want, and I promise I’m listening… it’s just that, sometimes, I really don’t care. And I’m glad the book recognized this because before, I thought I was just a bitch. Now I know I’m an Aquarian.
3. Aquarians enjoy bossing people around and take pleasure in telling people what to do and watching them do it. Okay, so a little drill-sergeant-esque, but so what if I get my kicks in bossing my younger siblings around? As far as I’m concerned, being born first gives me every right to tell them to do the dishes or get the mail. Respect your elders, right?
4. Aquarians like: fame and recognition; rainbows, dreams and magic… Hello?! This is so me. I love dreaming, since I do it about 100% of my day; rainbows are awesome; I like compliments and am not one of those annoying people who shoots them down (you know them, the “You look so nice today!” “Really? Cause I didn’t shower or do my makeup and this skirt is wrinkled…” and you’re like “fine, you look like shit. Happy?”) Oh and also, magic’s cool. Except I tried playing magic cards with Jessie once and was soo lost. But the idea of being magical is kind of cool. I’d totally use my powers to make people do the dishes without my asking, or to use my mental capabilities to work out while watching Degrassi.
But there were some questionable things in there that I definitely didn’t agree with. Like the fact that they call us ‘humanitarians’. I really don’t care about humans, and prefer animal companions over my own kind.
Or that they said we’re somewhat emotionally detached, especially in relationships. If you call texting my boyfriend about twice an hour, and bugging him with random kisses or singing him weird songs I made up ’emotionally detached.’
It also says my lucky day is Thursday. I don’t even like Thursdays.
But hey, we can’t all be right, can we? (I can).
So I guess the moral of the story is, if you hate me, blame my parents for making me an Aquarius. There’s just some things you can’t change, I suppose.
You should know by now this post has nothing to do with these cookies. Problem? Didn’t think so.
This is my favorite candy bar by far, and I would like it in every form of baked good possible. These cookies are no exception.
Wanna know how to join this yummy crusade of making candy bars into deliciousness? Easy.
Almond Joy Cookies *from Jocelyn at Inside BruCrew Life’s recipe–so good
1 c flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/4 sticks butter, softened
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
1 1/2 ts. vanilla
2 T milk
1 c old fashioned oats
3/4 c chocolate chips (If you want more, add more–I like less)
1/2 c toasted almonds (I used slivered, but diced works–just not whole)
3/4 cup coconut
1 cup (more or less) Almond Joy candy pieces (in the blue bag)
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease two baking sheets with cooking spray; blot excess spray with a paper towel. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt until blended, and set aside. In a large bowl, beat together butter and sugars until creamy. Beat in egg, vanilla, and milk until blended. Gradually add in flour mixture, a little at a time, beating until fully incorporated. By hand, stir in chocolate chips, toasted almonds, coconut and almond joy candy pieces until combined.
2. Using a small cookie scoop or a teaspoon, portion out dough 1″ apart on your prepared baking sheets. Bake, for approximately 10-12 minutes or until golden and set. Do not overbake. If baking two pans at the same time, rotate pans halfway through baking time. Cool 5 minutes on baking sheet, then carefully transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Store airtight.
Soft, chewy and buttery, they have a delicious texture, thanks to the coconut, oats, and toasted almonds–plus the crunch from the almond joy candy pieces (which are also addictive, so ye be warned).
Also: you MUST toast the almonds. I know this sounds so ritzy and kind of a pain, but it seriously enhances the flavor of the almonds and betters the texture and overall well-being of your cookie. You don’t want to be an abusive cookie baker, do you? I’ll be very mad at you. To toast them, just place the almonds in a dry skillet and lightly turn with a spatula over medium-low heat until they’re fragrant. Or toast them on a baking sheet on a low temperature for a few minutes. Just keep your nose open; they burn easily.
Also #2: in addition to blaming my parents for making me a perverse, frank, and outspoken Aquarian, you can also blame them for getting me hooked on baking and in turn, making them AND you fat; as well as for the reason I hate sharing, as I can’t help that I skipped kindergarten for being super freakin’ smart and missing the lesson on ‘sharing is caring.’
Also #3: but you can also blame them for allowing me to unleash my creativity to bring you this glorious blog; the confidence to be myself; AND for making me an Aquarian after all…cause the alternative is being another sign (sorry, but Aquarians are superior and I won’t settle for less) or dead. Lame.