Birthday Cake Blondie Bombs

birthdaycakebombsI may have just turned 23, but I feel like I am 90.

Yesterday I took my sister to a concert and had to stand in line for two hours with a bunch of teenagers with thick black eyeliner and who swore gratuitously.  Now, I am an eyeliner-lovin’ fool and I have a mouth like a sailor, but I guess when you’re 15 (and it’s true) you will wear and swear as much as humanly possible when you aren’t near your parents.  And apparently wear some questionable clothes that even the most seasoned lady of the night may balk at.  But I digress.

While standing in line I had to hear an abundance of lame stories about typical teenage drama mixed with seventeen year olds walking up and down the line asking everyone if they could “bum a smoke” in that scratchy, jaded-teenager voice.  Everyone — even if they tried so hard to hide it — looked super excited to see the bands and I had a weird flashback of when I was seventeen and enjoyed going to concerts, staying out late and wearing fifty pounds of eyeliner for fun.

Now my idea of fun is totally boring to the average human who doesn’t want to spend the rest of their life watching Criminal Minds reruns on Ion Television (but if that is your idea of fun, call me *wink*).  I don’t do clubs because they’re too loud, too crowded and too swarmed with men who spend more time getting ready than I do.  Also, clubs remind me of Jersey Shore which reminds me that being in the same vicinity of people like that will probably up my chances of dying of a fatal case of herpes by 26.

I also dislike the movies for multiple reasons, mainly because my rage bubbles over like a fountain of hatred when I hear people talking during the film, and because going to the movies has to be the lamest date ever.  I mean, how am I supposed to get to know someone if we’re silent for two hours?  My only judgment is basically based on what kind of candy they choose and wow, he is willing to donate his right lung for a box of stale Sour Patch Kids? 

And then there’s the adventure-seeking kinda places like Lazer Tag and Mini Golf.  I would totally do that except for the fact that spending time with a bunch of 11 year old boys running around in glow-in-the-dark hunting gear isn’t usually my idea of a fun time, and also because there’s this really scary miniature golf course by my house that I’m pretty sure houses homeless people, nuclear weaponry, or at least some roadkill carcasses.  I think it was built shortly before the war of 1812 because the last time I was there, I swung a normal golf-y swing at my ball and it created a 6-foot fissure along that course into the scary Hansel-and-Gretel-looking mini house that ate our balls (ha, ha) and never returned them.   Also because the prizes in the arcade were weird things like a jack in the box which hasn’t been the top toy since approximately 1900.

So I bet you’re wondering ‘well, what does this old hag like to do for “fun” since she seems to avoid all things pleasant like the bubonic plague.”  And to that I say: Criminal Minds marathons.  Making huuuuuuge cups of sprinkle-infested frozen yogurt.  Nature walks.  Smothering animals with kisses and baby noises.  Food — OBVIOUSLY.  And I’m not a total crust because I also love to bowl.  I don’t know why, but whenever the prospect of bowling is involved I get super jazzed.  Like, “OMG WE’RE GOING BOWLING?! YESS!!! CAN WE DO UNLIMITED GAMES?! CAN WE STAY FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS?!” like I’ve never been to a bowling alley before.  And usually bowling alleys are filled with homeless people, 11 year olds and probably nuclear weaponry, because no one would suspect nukes hiding underneath some dilapidated snack bar that serves cold chili cheese fries to people clearly tweaking on some kind of illegal substance.  It’s the perfect place!!

DSC_0393AAnyway, I also enjoy celebrating being alive [sometimes] in a world that consists of haunted golf courses and teenage boys wearing more eyeliner than your standard drag queen.  And the perfect way to celebrate life as we know it is by stuffing face senselessly with some Birthday Cake Blondie Bombs!  What in the world is this concoction?  Bassssically the best thing ever, but if that doesn’t clear it up for you: it’s a cake pop smothered in a chewy blondie, then coated in white chocolate and plenty of sprinkles, aka, the best thing ever.  This is for all you party people (and poopers!) because this bomb doesn’t discriminate — it’s fun and tasty for everyone!

DSC_0403A

5.0 from 4 reviews
Birthday Cake Blondie Bombs
Author: 
Recipe type: Brownie Bombs
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Cake or frosting? Why choose when you can have this adorable Birthday Cake Blondie Bomb?! A yummy cake pop stuffed inside of a chewy blondie, then coated in white chocolate and plenty of sprinkles. Every day is a reason to celebrate!
Ingredients
  • 2 sticks butter, melted
  • 2 cups brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 12 cake balls/cake pops, prepared (you can make your own of course, or you can buy premade cake pops/cake balls. I found some frozen vanilla cake balls at Walmart and used these)
  • 1 pkg Vanilla Candiquik
  • Sprinkles
Instructions
  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 13x9" baking pan with cooking spray and set aside.
  2. In a large bowl, stir together the melted butter and brown sugar until combined. Stir in the eggs, one at a time, followed by the vanilla extract until combined. Lastly, gradually add the flour, baking soda and salt until a soft dough forms.
  3. Spread the dough evenly into the prepared pan and bake for approx. 20 minutes or until the edges begin to slightly pull away from the pan and the center is light brown and appears set. Cool completely.
  4. Cut the blondies into about 1-2" squares and flatten them with the heel of your hand carefully. Wrap each blondie around a cake pop and roll it in your hands to help seal the blondie around the cake pop, pinching any gaps to seal. Place the blondie bombs onto a foil-lined baking sheet. Repeat with remaining cake pops/blondies. You should have 12 bombs with some remaining blondies to eat -- yay!
  5. Freeze the blondie bombs for about 30 minutes to set. While the bombs are setting, melt the Candiquik per package directions. Dip the bombs into the white chocolate allowing excess to drip off. Immediately sprinkle with jimmies, if you'd like. Serve!

DSC_0401A

 

DSC_0411AIf you love birthday cake, these are officially your new favorite brownie bombs!  Soft, moist cake pops rolled into chewy, brown-sugary blondies and coated in creamy white chocolate — it tastes just like cake in a delectable, adorable brownie bomb form!  I love that this recipe calls for prepared cake pops because that makes these so much easier to whip up than making your own cake pops.  There’s nothing I loathe more than all the baking, crumbling, mixing and rolling, so using something prepared and ready to jazz up makes this recipe come together in a snap!  Plus, the homemade blondie recipe is stunningly delicious.  You guys will love it and be so glad there’s a few leftover squares 🙂

Want more bomb-diggity Brownie Bomb recipes?  Look no further!  I am the original creator of these tasty, unique treats!

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs
Funfetti Cake Batter Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs
S’Mores Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs
Raspberry Pie Brownie Bombs

And for more Brownie Bomb recipes, navigate to the top of my page, hover over “Recipe Index” and select “Brownie Bombs.”

Have a fantastical day!!

xo, Hayley

Birthday Cake Cannolis

bdaycannoliOh my gawwwwd you guys.

So, let’s be honest here.  In the last year or so, I have gained around 20 pounds.  No, that isn’t a typo.  Twenty. Friggin. Ell-Bees.  How and why are beyond my comprehension, but I’m guessing it’s because I’ve been far too friendly to french fries and ice cream sundaes.

And just so you know, french fries and ice cream sundaes are NEVER your friend.  They act like your friend, all yeah we can hang out and be friends but then they’ll betray you.  It’s a fact: they’re bad friends.  And while we’re on this note, maybe don’t befriend any food, because you’re probably seriously lonely if you consider food your friend.  However, I get it.  People suck and sometimes it’s just easier to tell that bag of potato chips how much you hate the human race.

Needless to say, with extra baggage now in tow, some of my clothes have been a bit on the tighter (or sadly, completely unfitting) side. I have resorted to hanging up my precious unfitting clothing in the pantry and kitchen so I remind myself that my arms now have arms of their own and having four arms isn’t a good look when wearing my Betsey Johnson cupcake dress so it’s proooobably a good idea NOT to eat those chicken nuggets.

And it’s been getting significantly hotter here in Sacramento, so I have been unable to get away with wearing my jeans in public.  Meaning, I have had to fight to hell and back to get my denim shorts on my muffin top’s muffin top’s muffin top’s cousin’s bitch of a friend.  I Jaws-of-Lifed my way into the shorts and wore them to work one day.

Everything was going swimmingly, and I had fully intended on cutting off circulation to my muffin top with the too-tight waistband when my muffin top got all uppity and rebelled.  I had been walking to my car when I heard tink tink.  I looked down and saw a button.  I picked it up and instantly recognized it from my double-buttoned closure on my shorts.  I stuffed it in my pocket for later.

When I got home, I walked through the door and was in the process of greeting Mannie when I heard tink tink.  I figured that pesky button had fallen out of my pocket, but when I reached for my pocket, I could feel the button tucked safe inside.  I looked at the ground and saw the second button to the closure, grinning menacingly up at me from its place on the floor, like haha you fatty, I’m free!  I’m FREE! Then I took a Klonopin because buttons talking to you is never a good sign.

So lately, I have been eating incredibly well, working out on the daily, and logging my calories into an online program so I can *hopefully* be on friendlier terms with my shorts again one day.

DSC_0753AHowever, diets are pointless if I can’t have a splurge now and then, so I choose my splurges wisely and definitely had to choose these cannolis when I made them!  Crispy shells stuffed with birthday cake filling?  Um, perfection!

You could say they’re button-popping DELICIOUS!

DSC_0709A

5.0 from 4 reviews
Birthday Cake Cannolis
Author: 
Recipe type: Desserts
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Celebrate deliciously with these festive Birthday Cake Cannolis! The traditional ricotta filling has a Funfetti twist, lending a unique taste to these tubular treats.
Ingredients
  • 12 premade cannoli shells
  • 1 container (approx. 1 & ½ cups) part-skim ricotta cheese
  • ½ cup dry Funfetti cake mix
  • ½ cup powdered sugar
  • ½ tsp EACH vanilla and butter extract
  • About ⅓ cup miniature chocolate chips
  • Rainbow sprinkles
Instructions
  1. First, use some bakers twine or ribbon to tie small bows around each cannoli shell, careful not to crack the delicate shell. Set the shells aside. Do this only if you want the cannolis to look cute. If you're just going to stuff your face, obviously twine is just another obstacle for you to overcome before scarfing them down. Omit as needed.
  2. In a medium bowl, combine the ricotta, dry Funfetti cake mix and powdered sugar with a handheld electric mixer until creamy. Add in the extracts to combine.
  3. Gently spoon the ricotta filling into a piping bag attached with an open star tip (I used Wilton 4B). Pipe the ricotta mixture into the cannoli shells. Sprinkle the ends of the cannoli with the mini chocolate chips and sprinkles. Stack & serve immediately.

DSC_0755AY’all need to make these STAT!  You’re gonna love them!!

Have a delicious day!

xo, Hayley

Not Yo Mama’s Cake Batter Donuts

mamascake

 

Not long ago, I had a grown-up person interview for a grown-up person job!

…which meant I had to dig through my closet of costumes to find something slightly less outrageous to wear.  I thought I’d had a pair of slacks sitting alone in the depths of my closet, but apparently the costumes nearby consumed it and barfed out more colors and glitter and tutus because it was never to be seen again.

Mind you, this interview was happening just hours after I did a cooking demo on live TV, something which I’d been fretting over for weeks by this point.  Thankfully, I didn’t say anything embarrassing or look completely disgusting, so I was beyond relieved when it was over and I could go back to looking like a tutu-wearing cartoon without all of Sacramento judging me or my man voice.

I also celebrated the TV segment by stuffing my face with the gooeiest pizza from IKEA, of all places, among other delicious snacks once I got home.  Belly full, mind relieved, and suitable interview outfit on, I left for my interview.

…and it went well!  I mean, I thought it did.  I think I was so braindead from all the frazzled stress of being on TV that it took away some of the pressure of the interview.  I answered everything confidently, I smiled a lot, made tons of eye contact despite my creepy fears about eye contact, and seemed to be on their good side.

I left feeling like I’d nailed that thing, so I hopped in my car and began driving to my celebration dinner when I noticed something that shook me to my very core.  Something I fear SO much, that I ask about it several times a day, as well as obsessively check for it several times a day.

There was food all over my face.  And in my tooth.

I meeeeeaaaan.. how come I didn’t notice this prior to my interview?  How come no one bothered to say, “hey weirdo, you have red crap all over your face” or, “you look great except for that gigantic peppercorn protruding from your tooth crack” ?   Not. One. Word.

And in my conceited defense, I DO check myself out a lot.  I obviously have to make sure on a regular-basis that I am not walking around in public with junk on my face or things in my teeth or boogers hanging off my nose (it too, has happened).  Apparently if I don’t double-check myself often enough I’ll wind up leaving the house looking like some weird savage in a polka dot dress.  And apparently, that’s who showed up to my interview, answering questions with confidence, smiling brightly at the interviewers and making eye contact with people who SAW FOOD ON MY FACE.

ON. MY. FACE.

The moral of the story is, don’t book TV segments on the same day as interviews because after your TV segment you’ll be so relieved/braindead/exhausted that you’ll drive to IKEA, eat a huge piece of gooey pizza like a barbarian, then come home and not check your face before going to said interview and then you’ll end up interviewing with pizza sauce and god knows what else in your mouthal region like a fool.  Sigh.

Thankfully, donuts make me forget about my barbarian eating habits.  Especially donuts smothered in cake batter.  Yessssss.

DSC_1567A

This donut from Gourdough’s was right up my alley — deep fried deliciousness coated in rich fudge and CAKE BATTER.  Hello, it can’t get any better (except when you add sprinkles)*.  Behold: Not Yo Mama’s Cake Batter Donuts.  Get some!

DSC_1566A

4.7 from 3 reviews
Not Yo Mama's Cake Batter Donuts
Author: 
Recipe type: Breakfast
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
These donuts have all the festive attitude of cake while being a decadent donut. Dive in!
Ingredients
  • 1 pkg. Grand's buttermilk biscuits (not the flaky kind)
  • About 2 cups oil
  • 1 jar hot fudge sauce
  • 1 & ½ cups yellow cake mix (just the mix)
  • ½ cup water + more if needed
  • Sprinkles
Instructions
  1. In a heavy bottomed skillet, heat the oil on medium/medium-high heat. To test oil's readiness, take a drop of water and drop it into the oil. If it lightly sizzles, you're ready! If it pops and sounds angry, turn it down a tad.
  2. Open the can of biscuits and gently flatten each one with the palm of your hand. Using the base of a piping tip, cut out circles in the middle of each biscuit; reserve the donut holes.
  3. Fry the donuts and donut holes for about 5-6 minutes, about 2-3 minutes per side, until golden. Remove to a paper-towel lined plate to drain. Note that the donut holes will likely cook faster, so keep an eye on them.
  4. While the donuts cool off, pour the hot fudge sauce in a medium bowl and microwave for about 30-45 seconds or until smooth, but not completely runny. Dip the donuts into the hot fudge sauce, allowing excess to drip off. Also dip the tops of the donut holes and place them back into the donut's center (covering up the hole with a donut hole!)
  5. After the donuts have been dipped, make your cake batter! In a medium bowl, combine the yellow cake mix with ½ cup of water; stir until it comes together and is slightly runny. If it's super thick, add a little more water to thin it out.
  6. Pour the cake batter into a Ziploc baggy, seal out the air, and snip off a corner. Drizzle the cake batter on top of the donuts evenly. Sprinkle immediately with rainbow jimmies. Serve!

DSC_1574A

These donuts have the light and airy crunch of a traditional fried donut but are topped with that luscious, sinful chocolate fudge sauce and that creamy, buttery cake batter, making one festive and scrumptious treat!  If you’re really looking to fudge it up, consider substituting yellow cake mix with chocolate and use chocolate sprinkles instead.  Hubba hubba!

See you tomorrow, donut lovers 🙂

xo, Hayley

 

 

No-Bake Birthday Cake Ice Cream Cups

bdaycreamcup

 

So this week I leave for Austin, Texas for my first blogging conference!

I am SOSOSOSO excited to go!  I’ve heard numerous wonderful things about Austin as a city, its culture and restaurants and all that jazz.  Plus, I get to meet my bloggy friends for the first time (!!) and we get to start some trouble together 🙂

However, there are certain things about trips that I loooooaaaathe.  Like, for one, PACKING.  I am one of those insane people who shoves my entire life’s wardrobe into a measly carry-on that begins to burst at the zippers.  When I went to New York, I had packed at LEAST six days’ worth of outfits, and I was there for 3 days.  Now that I’ll be in Austin for almost a week, I’m pretty sure I’ll be shipping a good three suitcases to the hotel filled with extra clothes and accessories just in case I make some last minute wardrobe changes.

I mean, how awful is it when you get somewhere and realize, dammit, why didn’t I bring that mint-colored sundress? and then your whole day is ruined because you aren’t wearing the mint-colored sundress.  And you would have had like, eleventy times more fun had you worn the mint-colored sundress today.  Orrrr is that just me?

Oh, oh — and humidity.  Usually Sacramento isn’t terrible with humidity so I’m not used to the whole frizzy-hair/dripping-with-sweat thing.  All I know is, it sounds so refreshing! #not

So I’m wondering if I should even bother styling my hair/wearing clothes if I’m just going to be a big, drippy mess.  But to avoid any charges for indecent exposure or scaring off my friends, I suppose I’ll just go for the drippy mess look.  At least there will be plenty of cocktails to drown out our worries about looking gross.  Cocktails are such lifesavers, aren’t they?

Yesterday I asked you guys if you preferred me to post a yummy cake recipe or a no-bake recipe today, and almost unanimously y’all requested no-bake!  It seems like everywhere in the Union is heating up and the idea of turning on an oven sounds about as appealing as going swimwear shopping after a night of binge eating.  (And no worries–the cake will come this week, too!!)

One of the grudges I usually hold against no-bake foods is that they never really taste like the baked things I want.  Don’t get me wrong–I love creamsicles and ice cream and froyo as much as the next girl, but sometimes when the temps are reaching inferno, I weirdly want birthday cake.  Or a gooey brownie.  And the no-bake versions don’t seem to quench that craving as well as I’d like.

Soooo I set out on a sprinkle-filled mission to give me an authentic birthday cake treat without dying of heat stroke.  This mission was made like, a billion times easier when I found Breyer’s Birthday Blast ice cream at the grocery store–cake batter flavored ice cream with frosting swirls and cake pieces?  Um, get in my mouth.  But to up the ante (since I am a bonafide ante-upper), I made sure there was another element of deliciousness to these treats by adding a birthday cake flavored Oreo to the bottom and smothering the tops with tons of sprinkles.

DSC_1467APerfect, no?

YESYESYESYESYESSSS.

DSC_1460A

5.0 from 4 reviews
No-Bake Birthday Cake Ice Cream Cups
Author: 
Recipe type: Frozen Desserts
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 18
 
Craving cake but not the heat stroke that will come with turning on the oven? Look no further--these No-Bake Cake Batter Ice Cream Cups will cure your cake craving and cool you off!
Ingredients
  • 1 pkg (1.5 QT) Breyer's Birthday Blast ice cream (or other cake-batter flavored ice cream), softened
  • 1 tub (8 oz) Cool Whip Free, thawed
  • About 18 birthday-cake flavored Oreos
  • Sprinkles
Instructions
  1. Line 2 muffin tins with about 18 paper liners. Drop an Oreo cookie in the bottom of each liner and set aside.
  2. Scoop out the ice cream into a large bowl. Gently fold the Cool Whip into the softened ice cream until blended. Add a handful of sprinkles for extra color + crunch, if you'd like.
  3. Scoop about 2 Tablespoons of ice cream into each ice cream cup (2 cookie-dough scoops' worth) and gently smear the tops to fill the cups and smooth. Sprinkle liberally with rainbow jimmies, if you'd like.
  4. Freeze the cups for about 4 hours or overnight, until solid. Peel back the wrappers and eat! Makes about 18.

 

 

DSC_1469AThe awesome thing about this no-bake treat is that it tastes JUST like cake and ice cream but without turning that blasted oven on!  And if cake batter isn’t your thing, this recipe is easily adaptable to something you WOULD like.  For instance, fans of rocky road?  Try using regular Oreos with softened rocky road ice cream and top with mini marshmallows and chocolate chips.  Love strawberry shortcake?  Use the new Strawberries n Cream Oreos or Golden Oreos and top with fresh strawberry ice cream, then whipped cream.  The possibilities are endless (and delicious).

Stay tuned, that cake recipe will come soon enough for y’all who don’t mind sweating it out for a slice or for those who are lucky enough to have nice, cool weather!!

xo, Hayley

 

No-Bake Cake Batter Squares

nobakecake

 

So I started working out again.

Let me rephrase: I am starting to work out again.  More like TRYING.  Or thinking about working out, but just eating a bag of pretzel M&M’s instead.

Chewing burns calories, right?  And for as much as I THINK about exercising, it should burn SOME calories.

Anyways, this recent spurt in exercising came about when I decided to put on my adorable cupcake-ish Betsey Johnson dress to wear one Sunday afternoon.  It was one of those perf. days: not too hot, not too breezy, nice and sunny, and I wanted to dress up all purty-like.  My cupcake dress was like, theeeeee perfect adornment to such a gorgeous day.

So I slipped it on and was shimmying up the back zipper when.. it stopped.  And I tried to play it off like, “oh, it’s totally normal for a zipper-backed dress to stop zipping like, an inch above your butt; no big”.  I began leaving my bedroom when the entire top of the dress fell off because guess what, smarty?  Homegirl gained some back fat and now my dress was unwearable.

Basically, I felt my life flash before my eyes.  All those moments when I’d frolic around in my pink poufy dress, blissfully unaware that eventually I’d gain some weight which would prevent me from slipping into my gorgeous Cinderella-but-cuter dress.  I longed to travel back in time when I was svelte and had a model body like Kate Upton.*
*Okay, this never happened and I have never had a body like Kate Upton.  I have, however, had many dreams in which I LOOKED like Kate Upton, but eventually I woke up and realized I didn’t have abs, or cute swimsuits, so I kind of just gave up on that part of my life.

So now I’m taking my junk in my trunk and the trailer carrying the rest of it to the gym.  I’m running two miles at a time, which should basically net me a world record because who actually does that?  And I’ve been doing these moves in which you get in a push-up position (it’s already bad and I have barely told you), and you lift one arm in the air and tilt your body.  Oh, and in that lifted arm, you’re holding a dumbbell, which  I’m convinced was a medieval measure of torture.  Oh, and the last time I did that, there were no 5-pound dumbbells, so I figured the 4kg kettleball would be an equivalent, and I was having THE HARDEST TIME EVERRRR lifting those damn balls in the air until a friendly gentleman suggested I not lift 10 pounds over my head with one arm.  He could clearly tell I was not Kate Upton.  I don’t like my gym very much.

DSC_1162AAnywho, when I’m not lifting 10 pounds over my head effortlessly or strutting my stuff in a bikini, I’m making cake-battery treats that makes the Kate’s in all of us happy.  These treats taste just like cake batter, but they’re made out of cookies, AND they’re no-bake, which basically means they’re made of magic.

Time to fill your trunk with this juuuuunk, homegirl.

DSC_1152A

 

No-Bake Cake Batter Squares
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 16
 
Want cake and frosting without the baking and decorating? Look no further than these scrumptious no-bake squares!
Ingredients
  • 1 pkg Birthday Cake Golden Oreos
  • 1 pkg white chocolate chips
  • 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
  • Rainbow sprinkles
Instructions
  1. Line an 8x8 inch pan with foil, extending the sides over the edges of the pan. Lightly mist the foil with cooking spray and set aside. Meanwhile, in a food processor, grind the cookies in batches (about 10-15 cookies per batch, depending on the size of your machine) until ground into fine crumbs. Little chunks are okay, but you want it to be more crumb consistency than chunk. Set the crumbs aside in a bowl.
  2. In a large bowl, melt the white chocolate chips in the microwave until smooth. Pour in the can of milk and stir to combine. Dump the crumbs and some rainbow sprinkles (I used about ¼ cup) into the milk mixture and, using a rubber spatula, fold the mixture together until completely blended.
  3. Press the mixture evenly into the prepared pan in a single layer. Sprinkle the top immediately with additional rainbow sprinkles, if desired. Allow the bars to set, at room temperature, for about an hour before cutting into squares to serve. Makes about 16 small squares.

DSC_1156AWhen summertime hits, there is NO WAY I’m going to be turning my oven on, so this is the perfect way to get my cake-and-cookie fix without having to suffer for it.  These bars are chewy and sweet, taste exactly like cake batter, but have a subtle cookie crunch to them.  And of course, anything studded in rainbow sprinkles is to-die for!  You’ll love these!!

Have a fantastical Monday!!

xo, Hayley

Better Than Presents… Rainbow Birthday Poke Cake

birthdaypoke

 

Okay, so this is NOT my realm of desserts.

Cakes intimidate the you-know-what right out of me. I don’t know what it is; they’re just big and bulky and scream “CRUMB COAT!! CRUMB COAT!!” and look at me all menacing-like with their uneven edges and lack of interesting decoration. 

(Note to others: when cakes begin talking to you, it’s probably a good idea to speak with a medical professional and never return to this blog)

But my sweet little friend Ashton always makes poke cakes and they always look AHMAZZZZZING. I mean, I don’t even like carrot cake, yet she had me pawing at my monitor over her Better Than Easter Poke Cake. HELLOOOOOOOOOO, go in my mouth like yesterday.

Turns out, you don’t need a degree in cake decorating to make a delicious, show-stopping cake. There’s not one square of fondant on this bad boy, and frankly, this cake will point and laugh at your pretentious crumb coat. This cake is like your awesome best friend, except unlike your awesome best friend, you can eat it.

(K, I’m serious. Leave now while you still can).

Here’s the rocket science behind this amazing creation: bake a cake–any cake! Let it cool. Then, take out your anger on it by stabbing it a bunch with a spoon. Then make it feel better by smothering it with sweetened condensed milk. Then blanket your sweet best friend cake in Cool Whip and any other desired toppings, put it in the fridge to get acquainted with its new awesomeness, then EAT!

So easy, so delicious.

I have a feeling we’ll be best friends forever.

DSC_0524ABetter Than Presents… Rainbow Birthday Poke Cake *from Ashton’s gorgeous Rainbow Poke Cake recipe 🙂 

5.0 from 2 reviews
Better Than Presents... Rainbow Birthday Poke Cake
Author: 
Recipe type: Cakes/Cupcakes
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Happy Birthday to your face! This cake is AWWWEEESOME.
Ingredients
  • 1 box white cake mix, plus ingredients on back of box
  • Wilton Gel food coloring in No-Taste Red, Kelly Green, Lemon Yellow, Violet and Blue
  • 1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 (8 oz) tub Cool Whip, thawed
  • About 15 Birthday Cake Golden Oreos, lightly chopped
  • Rainbow sprinkles
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13x9 inch pan liberally with cooking spray. Prepare your cake batter according to package directions (or use a homemade version if desired). Evenly distribute the batter among five small bowls.
  2. Tint each bowl with a different gel food color until you've reached your desired shade. I only used red, yellow, green, blue, and purple, but feel free to experiment with different shades (pastels, primary colors), or add in orange if you'd like.
  3. In any order you choose, drop heaping spoonfuls of batter into the pan, layering the colors on top of one another. Don't swirl the colors; it'll muddle them! Once all the batter is layered in the pan, bake the cake according to package directions or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool the cake completely.
  4. Once cooled, poke holes all over the surface of the cake (roughly 25-30) with a wooden spoon handle. Immediately pour a can of sweetened condensed milk over the surface of the cake, trying to fill the holes with the milk.
  5. Spread the Cool Whip over the surface of the cake and top evenly with the lightly crushed Oreos and the sprinkles. Refrigerate the cake (to set) for about 4 hours-overnight; overnight is best. Store leftovers in the fridge.

 

DSC_0521AThis cake is the bomb diggity! At first, I was apprehensive about this cake only because I hate when things are soggy and I was worried the condensed milk would make the cake a little too wet. However, once it sets up in the fridge (I kept mine in overnight), it seemed to seep into the cake and give it a little extra boost. The result was a perfectly light cake with nice, moist crumbs in fun colors. What’s not to love?! And the birthday cake-flavored Golden Oreos on top of the Cool Whip is just, well, the icing on the cake. No wonder Ashton’s obsessed with these cakes!

Have a fantastical day!

xo, Hayley

Birthday Cake S’mOreos

bdaysmoreos

So Easter was yesterday.

Admittedly, Easter isn’t one of my favorite holidays. One, I’m not a fan of the traditional food served. Ham and scalloped potatoes kind of give me the heebie jeebies. And aside from jelly beans, I am kind of blase with the rest of the candy selection. Don’t even get me started on those scary chocolate bunnies with faces. When I eat chocolate, I’d prefer it to NOT be in the shape of an animal, or have a face, or sometimes wear clothes or look like a gangster bunny because that is WEIRD and makes me feel like a barbarian.

And also, because of this:

creeper

I was a pretty fearless child. I didn’t mind sitting on Santa’s lap, I didn’t cower in the presence of walking characters in costume, and it wasn’t until I was older and wiser that I finally realized how frightening the animatronic Chuck-E Cheese characters are, especially when they sing Happy Birthday to you in the party room.

However, when I found this Polaroid a few years ago, I felt a strange sensation deep within my stomach.  Like, have you ever been an innocent child wearing flower pants while holding your prized baby blanket and a cool balloon when your parents, the people you entrust not to screw your childhood up, assured you it was perfectly okay to pose with a terrifying rodent somewhere?

Not only is that Easter Bunny (or terrifying rodent; can you blame me that the terms are interchangeable?) staring into the camera with beady, soulless eyes and freakishly long whiskers, he is also touching the future home of my boobs.

Frankly, I’m surprised I don’t have Easter PTSD or something. If being grabbed by an evil bunny impostor person wasn’t frightening enough, they also confused my feeble child mind with a Merry Christmas decoration in the background. And to top it off, Santa looks like he’s pooping in the chimney. It’s a miracle that I even celebrate holidays after such a traumatic experience of cross-holiday contamination and rodent assault.

Oh, and when I went to New York, my childhood fears of creeps in costume were reignited when I walked around Times Square and realized I was swarmed with knockoff characters that I’m presuming weren’t sanctioned by Disney or Nickelodeon..

disneycreeps

How come Elmo looks so strange, Mommy? Why does SpongeBob have a weird, electrical tape unibrow? And how come Mickey only has one eyebrow? Where did his other eyebrow go, Mommy? Did it run away screaming like I did when they came up behind me and said, “Come here baby!” ?

DSC_0104A

Even his pupils are devoid. Like, literally, there are holes in his pupils and it looked and smelled even more frightening in person. But I read somewhere that confronting your fear is the key to overcoming it, but somehow this just made me more creeped out by weirdos in costume. Also, I gave SpongeBob a dollar, so I’m one-dollar poorer and still ooged out. Fear-facing fail.

Anywhoooooo, one thing I do like about Easter is the candy. Pastel-colored errrythang, jelly beans, even PEEPS! While I’m not typically a huge PEEPS kinda girl, I couldn’t resist passing up the limited edition Party Cake PEEPS at Walmart. Cake-flavored marshmallows? Yes friggin’ please.

DSC_0626ASo I took a not-so-original idea (a S’mOreo) and updated the classic flavors with a celebratory, sprinkly spin.

I promise, there’s no reason to be afraid.

DSC_0629ABirthday Cake S’mOreos *s’mOreo idea adapted from CakeSpy

Birthday Cake S'mOreos
Author: 
Recipe type: Cookies
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 20
 
Even if you aren't a PEEPS fan, you MUST find the Birthday Cake PEEPS--they rock, especially as the star of this sweet dessert!
Ingredients
  • 20 Birthday Cake Oreos
  • 1 pkg Party Cake PEEPS
  • 1 pkg white chocolate bark (I like Candiquik)
  • Rainbow sprinkles
Instructions
  1. Preheat your oven to 300 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with foil. Gently twist the tops off of each Oreo cookie, placing the frosted side of the cookies face-up on the foil-lined baking sheet and the unfrosted sides on the counter.
  2. Take a sharp knife and carefully cut each PEEP in half lengthwise (I know it seems totally brutal to slice a PEEP in half, but in the name of delicious food, you must do it). Place a PEEP half on each frosted Oreo cookie.
  3. Pop the PEEP-topped Oreos into the oven for approx. 3-4 minutes or until they begin to get puffy and slightly bubbly. Remove immediately, and gently press the unfrosted half of the Oreos on top of the puffy PEEPS to make the sandwich. Allow the S'mOreos to cool completely.
  4. Once cooled, melt the chocolate bark according to package directions. Dip each Oreo into the white chocolate, coating completely. Allow excess coating to drip off. Return to the foil sheet and immediately top with sprinkles. Repeat until all S'mOreos are coated. Allow coating to harden before serving. Makes 20 -- can be stored airtight at room temperature for several days.

 

DSC_0621ASo as a non-PEEP fan, I feel like it’s my obligation to introduce y’all to toasted PEEPS. They are AMAZING. The sugary coating on the marshmallow caramelizes in the oven, giving the PEEPS an irresistible crunch which is SO tasty against the gooey, melty marshmallow center. You’ll be so surprised how much these taste like birthday cake!

Have a wonderful day!!

xo, Hayley

 

Cake Batter Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs

funfettibrowniebomb

 

A couple days ago I went to the dentist.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but my dentist is kinda sorta high-tech. They’ll let you listen to customized Pandora stations while they drill at your mouth, or you can watch movies on their flat screen TV that lowers above your head. The only thing missing is a cleaning robot named Rosie, but I’m convinced she is busy tidying elsewhere every time I come in.

Anywho, so while I was there, this awful music was playing the entire time. Like one of those generic “easy listening” stations, except worse. The station had nary a “poppy” or upbeat song and instead, infiltrated the room with sad abused-animal-commercial/funeral music.

Ahem SarahMcLachlan, I’mlookingatyou.

At first I thought that maybe “In the Arms of An Angel” had mistakenly made its way into the easy listening rotation and soon, images of homeless kittens would exit my mind. But no. The office continued to blast really sappy, really miserable songs over the radio like the 90s were going out of style, oh wait…

Suddenly, I felt like I was in the middle of a funeral. Sarah’s melodic, tortured croon wafted throughout the room and I envisioned my dentist standing in the corner, eyes solemn, head down, as he gently whispered, “I’m sorry. He didn’t make it.”

The RDA would wheel out a little cart where a lone, cold, dead tooth would sit on a tray, a napkin haphazardly covering it so I could still steal one last glimpse of his lifelessness. That poor tooth — it had so much potential — but you ate so much damn sugar that you killed it. You senselessly killed your own tooth, you vile murderer.

In your head, a tortured montage will play as you remember all the times you were too lazy to brush, too cool to floss, and just let that poor little tooth rot to death in a lonely hole in your jaw. What did he ever do to you? He only CHEWED THE FOOD YOU ATE, you heartless monster. And now.. now he’s dead. In the arms of an angel. Presumably the tooth fairy, or the trashcan, as I don’t think I could milk my parents with the tooth fairy storyline again and the dentist would probably be weirded out if a grown woman asked for her tooth back.

Then again, it’s just as weird that I have all my baby teeth still, in an old VHS box under my bed, but that’s besides the point.

The point is, while I don’t need heavy metal blasting at my dental appointment, can they lighten up on the lugubrious tunes? Or at least tell me to wear all black and bring one of those veils people wear at funerals? I mean, I was seriously under-dressed for this dismal appointment.

DSC_0470aAnywho, after my sad appointment, I wanted something peppy. Something to celebrate the fact that I had teeth and dammit, I’m going to use them. So I stuffed cake-batter flavored cookie dough inside of brownies, then coated them in chocolate. It was the sugariest thing I could think to do, and my teeth thanked me for it.

I love you, teeth.

DSC_0457aCake Batter Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs *adapted from my Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs recipe & cake batter cookie dough recipe adapted from Sally’s Baking Addiction 

Cake Batter Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs
Author: 
Recipe type: Bombs, Treats
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 15-18
 
A Funfetti-twist to my signature recipe!
Ingredients
  • ¾ cup butter, softened
  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • ½ cup white sugar
  • 2 Tbsp milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • ½ tsp almond extract
  • 1 & ¼ cups flour
  • 1 & ¼ cups yellow or Funfetti cake mix
  • Rainbow sprinkles
  • 1 pan (13x9") fudge brownies, baked and cooled according to package directions
  • 1 pkg chocolate bark
  • ¼ pkg white chocolate bark
Instructions
  1. First, make your cookie dough. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter & sugars until creamy. Add the milk & extracts and beat to combine. Add in the flour and cake mix and beat until a soft dough forms. Stir in about 1 cup of sprinkles.
  2. On a foil-lined baking sheet, roll the cookie dough into approx. 1"-sized balls and place along the sheet. Freeze the cookie dough balls for about 1-2 hours or until firm.
  3. Cut the pan of brownies into small 1" sized squares. Take a square and gently flatten it with your palm. Place a frozen cookie dough ball in the center of the flattened brownie, then wrap the brownie around the cookie dough ball, sealing any gaps gently with your fingers. You can also roll the brownie bomb in your hand to smooth out any lumps, if needed. Place the brownie-covered cookie dough bombs back on the sheet.
  4. Prepare your chocolate bark according to instructions. Dip each brownie bomb into the chocolate, allowing excess to drip off. Return to the sheet to harden. Once all the bombs have been dipped in chocolate, melt the white chocolate and drizzle it on top of the bombs. Top immediately with remaining rainbow sprinkles, if desired.
  5. **Note: You could also use white chocolate to coat the bombs and use milk chocolate to drizzle, if desired. For a more authentic cake batter flavored shell, try adding a tiny splash of almond or vanilla extract to your chocolate, or stir in a small teaspoon of cake mix until blended.**

 

DSC_0458a

Boooooooooombsss awaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!

xo, Hayley

 

 

Cake Batter Oreo-Stuffed Funfetti Cookies

bdayoreo

Today’s post is super special, guys!

Today, I am celebrating a baby.

*points to self* No, not my baby. Are you kidding me? I become unreasonably snotty if I get less than seven hours of sleep a night AND I can still justify spending an inordinate amount of money on clothes. There’s no way I could raise a child. I meaaaan..

Today, I’m celebrating the future baby to the adorable Mandy at Mandy’s Recipe Box!!

Mandy is about to bring in a special little bun into her life, and the coolest thing of all is she’s waiting to find out the gender until it’s born!

I mean, call me old-fashioned, but a baby’s gender is like, one of the true surprises in life. My parents didn’t know the gender of me and my siblings, and they believe most parents shouldn’t (though I totally understand how OMGSOTEMPTING it’d be to find out). But how cool will it be when she gives birth and it’s a complete surprise?! I’m SO excited for her and her family!

And I’m SO excited that I was asked to participate in a virtual baby shower for Mandy! She is such a sweet mama and awesome friend, and I’m so glad I got to meet her in this crazy world of blogging!

Mandy Baby Shower

So while I don’t really want to compare cookies to baby genders, I thought it’d be cool to stuff some Funfetti flavored cookies with two different types of Oreos … that way, from the outside, you’ll have no idea what flavor lurks inside the plush, cake-y cookie until you take a bite! Will it be stuffed with Cake Batter flavored Oreos, or Cake Batter flavored Golden Oreos? Another true surprise, and a perfect treat for a mommy-to-be and her sparkly, fun baby shower 🙂

DSC_0230What are you waiting for? Aren’t you anxious to see what’s inside?!?

DSC_0235Cake Batter Oreo-Stuffed Funfetti Cookies *adapted from my Rainbow M&M Cookies recipe & Sally’s Cake Batter Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe

5.0 from 1 reviews
Cake Batter Oreo-Stuffed Funfetti Cookies
Author: 
Recipe type: Cookies
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 24
 
Funfetti-flavored cookies stuffed with more cookies!
Ingredients
  • ¾ cup butter, softened
  • ¾ cup light brown sugar
  • ¼ cup white sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp butter extract/emulsion
  • ½ tsp almond extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp cornstarch
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 cup sprinkles
  • About 12 cookies each Cake Batter flavored Oreos and Cake Batter flavored Golden Oreos
Instructions
  1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, soda, cornstarch and salt, and set aside. Meanwhile, in a large bowl with an electric mixer, beat together the butter and sugars until creamy, about a minute. Beat in the egg and extracts to combine.
  2. Gradually add flour mixture to the butter mixture, beating well after each addition. Once dough has come together, stir in the sprinkles. Chill the dough for 30 mins-1 hour.
  3. While the dough chills, preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Line two cookie sheets with silicone liners or mist lightly with cooking spray. Once dough has chilled, drop rounded Tablespoonfuls of dough on the baking sheets about 1″ apart. Gently press an Oreo in the center of the dough ball and top it with another rounded Tablespoonful of dough. Use your fingers to very carefully enclose the Oreo with dough. Bake for approx. 10-12 minutes, rotating pans halfway through bake-time, or until light golden in color and centers are just about set–they’ll continue cooking on the baking sheet.
  4. Cool the cookies on the sheets about 5-10 minutes before carefully transferring to wire racks to cool completely. Store cookies airtight, at room temperature, for about 5 days.

 

DSC_0239These cookies are SO delicious and SO fun! The combination of the vanilla, butter and almond extract lends an authentic cake battery taste to each bite of these buttery, tender cookies without using a cake mix for that signature flavor. And if you haven’t tried those Cake Batter-flavored Oreos yet, you MUST go to your nearest Target/Walmart ASAP and stock up! They’re INSANELY good, and once stuffed in between these soft, chewy cookies, they make for an awesome, crunchy surprise!

I’m not the only one celebrating Mandy and her new behbeh. Be sure to stop by these other blogs to see their sweet treats for Mandy!! Congratulations, Mandy! We love you and are SO happy for you!! <3 ((hugs))

Nikki from Chef In Training
Dorothy from Crazy For Crust
Holly from Life as a Lofthouse
Tina from Mommy’s Kitchen
Stephanie from Back For Seconds
Ashton from Something Swanky
Becca from Crumbs and Chaos
Jocelyn from Inside BruCrew Life
Aimee from Shugary Sweets
Stephanie from Macaroni and Cheesecake
Brandie from The Country Cook

xo, Hayley

 

Birthday Cake Seven Layer Bars

bdaymagic

Things You Will Never Hear Me Say:

“This is too bright.”

“There’s such a thing as too much glitter.”

“I’m full.”

“On second thought, I’ll pass; I don’t need it.”

“No, I don’t feel like going to the mall today.”

“I could never spend that much on a Betsey Johnson dress.”

“This floor-length denim skirt looks GREAT!!!”

“Mom, will you buy me a pair of Crocs?”

“I’ve been craving a Bloody Mary!!”

“Mmmm!! Porkchops!!!”

“Kristen Stewart is one of the greatest actresses of this or any generation. Pure talent and pizzazz.”

…Or any sentence where I use the word ‘pizzazz.’

“I don’t want pizza tonight.”

“Let’s go to Old Navy–I hear they’re having a sale on flip flops!!!”

“That Taylor Swift is such a hopeless romantic! I love her songs, and no, they don’t all sound the same!”

“Ooh, John Mayer. He’s SOOOOO hot!”

“Are seven layers too much?”

So, okay, not to sound like a broken record or anything, but I heart seven layer bars. Like a lot. And not to be a one-trick pony or anything, but I made yet another version that tastes like cupcakes. You’ll thank me after your taste buds explode into the gates of heaven upon first bite, trust me. (Also trust me not to use anymore cliche expressions related to broken-record-playing-track-ponies).

DSC_0203The inspiration for these big, bad bars full of birthday cake goodliness came from THESE bars I made last week. Upon tasting them, I liked them, but I felt like they were missing some more cake-y action. And sweetened condensed milk, which I’m petitioning restaurants to start offering as a beverage. The world is so narrow-minded in its beverage choices, am I right?

So thus, these Birthday Cake Seven Layer Bars were born. Magic bars, seven layer bars, crack — whatever you prefer to call them, we’ll all inevitably know what you’re talking about when you bite into one and say “OMG YUM.”

DSC_0204

Birthday Cake Seven Layer Bars
Author: 
Recipe type: Bars
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12-15
 
Happy Birthday to yoooooou. Celebrate tastily with these seven-layer bars!
Ingredients
  • 1 box Funfetti cake mix
  • 1 egg
  • ½ cup melted butter
  • ½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • ½ cup white chocolate chips
  • ½ cup sprinkles
  • ¾ cup miniature marshmallows
  • ½ cup (roughly about 10-12) Birthday Cake Golden Oreos, roughly crushed
  • ½ cup (roughly about 10-12) Birthday Cake Oreos, roughly crushed
  • 2 boxes Cupcake Bites*
  • 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 13x9 inch pan with foil, extending edges of foil over the sides of the pan. Mist lightly with cooking spray.
  2. In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, egg and melted butter until a soft dough forms. Press into prepared pan in an even layer, and bake for approx. 10 minutes.
  3. Remove from oven and immediately top with the semi-sweet chips, the white chips, sprinkles, 2 types of crushed Oreos, cupcake bites and marshmallows evenly. *However, I find the marshmallows cook best when they're put on as the first layer, then covered with the remaining ingredients* Drizzle the can of scmilk on top.
  4. Return to the oven and continue to bake for 15-20 minutes or until the top is bubbly and golden. Allow to cool to room temperature before cutting into bars. Store airtight, at room temperature, for several days. These taste really good at room temperature or slightly warmed! So gooey!
  5. **Note: I found the Cupcake Bites (which are like round, cake-flavored candies) at the Dollar Store. I also found the limited edition Birthday Cake Oreos at Walmart and Target. Stock up!!**

 

DSC_0199These bars are OUTRAGEOUS. So many deliciously sweet flavors happening at once. The gooey marshmallows, the sugary sprinkles, the crunchy Oreos .. everything works cohesively to make a stunningly simple, stickily sweet cake batter bar. You and your kids will love it!

Happy Tuesday!!

xo, Hayley

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...