Magic Kit — complete with random silver rings, a deck of cards and probably a red scarf or some other random trinket for good measure, this kit had everything a novice magician would need to cast spells, or at the very least, embarrass themselves only moderately while performing a magic show in their grandmother’s living room. Immediately upon receiving said kit I enlisted my dad as my magician’s assistant. Dad was not meant to be a magician’s assistant as he did not possess the primary function of a typical assistant: being a leggy, scantily-dressed female. Anyways, I was only six or something so clearly I did not realize my rookie mistake. At any rate, we were practicing when I became frustrated that my rings were not doing their magical ring thingie and I began to cry. Dad inevitably became frustrated (probably because of a case of mistaken identity on my part) and told me the show was off if I couldn’t behave. Eventually this would be ingrained in my brain that I would never qualify to be a magician. I would scream this at my parents whenever they’d have those weird adolescent pep talks where they’d tell me, “you can be anything you want to be!” “NO!” I’d yell. ”Not a magician!!!” and run to my room bawling.
A Razor Scooter — Santa done good this Christmas and bought myself and my brother each a Razor scooter. I fondly remember knowing EXACTLY which scooter was mine because Santa gave me the red wheels and my brother the blue wheels as not to confuse our impressionable brains regarding color & gender. Alex and I scootered around the freezing neighborhood for hours and hours that morning, and would continue to dedicate many hours to sailing around in the street on those things. Only later in life did I realize scooters were basically for uncoordinated people who were incapable of riding skateboards.
A Tamagotchi — Tamagotchi’s were the digital pet rocks of the 1990s… if pet rocks would trill incessantly, need to be fed by the push of a button and looked vaguely like scary digitized animals. And I wanted one so very badly. Girls at school had several hooked to their backpacks or lanyards, or they’d stuff them in their desks or fannypacks. Yeah, I lived in a world where fannypacks were worn on the reg. That’s right – I survived the fanny pack generation. Anyways, I finally got my beloved digital…creature and was in love with it for the first week or so. I would avidly feed the thing, water its plants or whatever, and tended to its every beck and digital call. But after awhile I realized this parenting business is SO not for me and I did what any new parent of a digital pet would do… I abandoned that poor sucker in the back of my toy cabinet to die in solitary. Later, I would find out that in the middle of the night my mother had brutally murdered my screaming Tamagotchi which somehow seemed far more sinister than my neglect and abandonment of it. I would go on to resuscitate the creature by stabbing its butt with a toothpick (the only way to get ahold of that pesky restart button) and the cycle would repeat itself until fannypacks were deemed socially unacceptable.
Pokemon Cards — I was always on the hunt for those beloved Pokemon cards, especially if they had the coveted star rating [ain't nobody got time for circles and diamonds]. I remember one year my mom bought me the Vaporeon card and I just about had an aneurysm. Vaporeon was like, the coolest friggin’ card there was. And Eevee was basically my Poke-soul sister. Or soul-fox. Whatever. I think my mom had also given us a gift card to the comic book shop up the street, so my brother and I eagerly dragged my poor dad in there one day. I remember the shop smelling like stale bread and past regrets, and the man — a spitting image of The Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy — sold us a Charzard card. However, we never returned to the shop since he completed our entire transaction with mayo smeared all over his face. #truestory
Easy Bake Oven — this was basically my childhood dream come true. FINALLY, an oven where I could make petite, bland miniature cakes and brownies in some electrical contraption marketed to kids. YAY! True to form, I did make a handful of those delicious treats for my family and friends, all of which exited from the opposite end of the oven underdone and completely raw in the middle. My poor parents sacrificed dying of salmonella to eat my disastrous desserts until one day, fate intervened in a dramatic fashion. I was innocently baking my brownies or vanilla cake or what-have-you-future-disaster when suddenly, fate was all “so you complain about her cakes being underdone and too raw. Well how do you like things CHARGRILLED, BITCH?!” and literally set my Easy Bake Oven on fire. Like, flames were erupting from the Easy Bake’s devilish belly, scorching my precious chocolate cake. After my mom successfully handled the fire hazard, we were able to extract my cake that had been locked inside the crematorium where desserts and dreams go to incinerate. And not surprisingly, it was underdone.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Magic Mystery Mall Video Game — everyone knows I’m a huge MK+A fan. Dude, I quote the direct-to-TV movies religiously and probably sing their catchy songs at least once a day [not even kidding]. So when this video game came out for PS1, I was all over that ish. It was probably one of the first video games ever invented to have literally NO purpose whatsoever. You just moon-walked around a very empty shopping mall searching for gems (?). In order to earn said gems, you had to do weird things like model Mary-Kate and Ashley down an airport tarmac (!??!) in hideous clogs and crop tops, or be a waitress and give random customers pizzas. But because it had their damn logo, I was obsessed and played this pointless game for hours. Conveniently, I found a hilarious video of a British man playing the video game and her perfectly narrates every WTF moment my brain thought while draining away my intelligence.
Anyway, all aforementioned gifts were well loved and appreciated, if not a little weird (or incredibly faddy). There is, however, one common denominator in all of this — and that’s Santa! No matter what I asked for, even if I didn’t get it, Santa made sure my Christmas was special, full & warm. I was blessed to have an incredible family to celebrate with and am so thankful to be able to mercilessly pick at all the weird toys I asked for in the past with a smile that I at least had the chance to play with them, and was grateful enough to own them. That said, they were all horribly dorky. But fun nonetheless
So as a thanks to the great man in red & white, I made some super fun Santa Surprise cookies that kids and adults alike will LOVE. These unique cookies come together in minutes and are filled with a secret surprise– much like Santa’s iconic sleigh. Plus, they’re super fun to assemble and would make great gifts for neighbors or friends!
- 1 pkg (8 count) sugar cones
- 1 pkg red candy melts (like by Wilton)
- Miniature marshmallows
- 8 frosted Oreo halves
- Assorted miniature candies (foil-wrapped milk chocolate balls, Sixlets, M&M’s, etc).
- To make things easier, get everything ready to go all in one place. Line a baking sheet with foil and set aside. Put your marshmallows in a small bowl, and in another small bowl put your assorted candies. It makes it easier to be organized and work faster.
- Melt the red candy wafers in a glass or microwaveable loaf pan. I found it’s easier since it’s longer and shallow as opposed to a bowl. Melt in 30 second increments, stirring after each set to ensure the chocolate melts properly and doesn’t scorch.
- Once smooth & melted, dip each cone into the red chocolate, turning it to coat completely. Allow any excess chocolate to drip off the cone. Quickly & carefully invert it (pointed end up) onto the prepared baking sheet.
- Affix miniature marshmallows along the base of the cone and attach one miniature marshmallow on the top point using a little dab of chocolate. Allow the cones to set completely.
- Once the chocolate has set, gently remove the cones from the wax paper. Fill each cone cavity with assorted candies until it just barely reaches the rim. Take the frosted side of the Oreo cookie and gently yet firmly attach it, frosted side down, to conform to the open cavity of the cone. The frosting will act as a glue to seal everything in!
- Carefully turn the cones right-side up and serve!
I love how easy these Santa Hat Cookie Cones are to make (and eat!) They make for such a great presentation — they’re simple enough on the outside but have that awesome secret candy surprise inside that is sure to make guests of all ages smile. And if Santa hats aren’t your thing, consider using green candy melts and rainbow sprinkles to create Christmas trees! Either way, these would make an awesome centerpiece at a Christmas party or even a cute touch to everyone’s dinner plate.
Have a fantastical day!!