Can we all agree that sci-fi channel movies are the bomb? Because they are.
The imagination it takes to invent shark creatures with octopus legs and sharks that travel via tornado is pretty astounding. It’s kind of along the brilliance of people who invented the Pet Rock or Sticky Buddy. It’s like, oh my god, we totally didn’t need this thing, but now that it’s here, it’s a confusing combination of pathetic and awesome. Kind of like how I feel when I eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s by myself.
Anyways, one day I was minding my own damn business when I was struck with some sci-fi movie brilliance. What are people most scared of? There’s movies about being murdered. Movies about being attacked by zombies. Movies about aliens and paranormal presence. Movies about devilish children. Aaaand movies about weird, boring puppets who like to play games of Put The Key In The Bear Trap Before It Rips Your Face Off.
Then it hit me: most people are scared of everyday things that slither and climb around us. My mom hates spiders so much that she dreams about them. And I know people who go cold at the mere mention of the word ‘snake.’ So why not combine the two to create an epically awesome, poop-in-your-pants frightening feature film?
Arachnoconda is born.
It’s exactly what it sounds like, friend. A giant furry spider with slithery snake legs. With a billion eyes that shoot lasers at people. And the snakes can hiss fire. And bombs detonate off of the spider’s butt. Basically the scariest thing in human existence today besides Miley Cyrus videos.
As I write this post, I will sadly research my idea and find that the same concept is in pre-production which depresses me greatly that I did not come clean about my idea sooner, thus making myself infinitely (or probably one-thousand dollars) richer.
Personally, I think arachnoconda is a fantastic idea. But if you don’t, perhaps I can convince you of something that is fantastic: DONUTS! Donuts are a true vice of mine– if they’re around, I will inhale them. And these donuts are the perfect staple for a Halloween breakfast or dessert since they’re dressed up like spooky spiders!
Not only are these ridiculously simple to make, they’re a great way to engage the kids in decorating their own creepy crawly spider donuts. And if spiders aren’t your thing (or you want to make these even EASIER!), try making the Monster Eyeball version!!
- 1 pkg chocolate glazed mini donuts
- ¼ pkg chocolate bark (I like Candiquik)
- 1 pkg Wilton Licorice Twists (they are black, but taste like cherry!)
- Eyeball sprinkles
- Melt the chocolate in a small bowl until smooth and melted. While it melts, cut your licorice into about ½” pieces– long enough to be spider legs, but not too short so they look like eyelashes! Set aside.
- Dip the tip of each licorice piece into some chocolate and gently set it against the sides of the donut, four licorice pieces per side. Allow them to set before moving the donut or you’ll disrupt the setting process.
- Attach some eyeballs onto the donuts with some of the melted chocolate. Again, let sit.
- To make the monster eyeballs, use jumbo eyeball sprinkles to attach the eyeball in the hole of the donut. You could also use powdered donuts instead of chocolate for the monster eyeballs!
I love how EASY these treats are to make! They’re a great snack to pack in your kiddo’s lunch, or to bring to a Halloween party. They take minutes to make and have infinite possibilities for designs. Consider adding the tips of candy corn onto the spiders for mini fangs, or using red eyeballs for a scarier look!
Have an Arachnoconda of a day