You see, vampires don’t have anything wrong with them except for the whole garlic-aversion/undead/blood-drinking thing which in the grand scheme of things, isn’t so bad. They’re slender, since blood is probably way less fatty than eating other human organs, and if you live in a Stephanie Meyer book, their skin is glittery which is cool because that means you’d save a TON since you wouldn’t have to buy body glitter at the store.
I mean, it would suck to be a werewolf. I have enough body hair as it is, so I definitely wouldn’t want to evolve into something even hairier. Also, the whole ‘transformation-at-midnight’ thing is SO cumbersome. What if I have a date that goes until midnight? How awkward does that have to be? Like, ‘I know it’s only our first date but if you have any expectations of this relationship blossoming into something deeper and long-term, I’m going to have to let you know I turn really growly and hairy at midnight so basically I will never be able to accompany you to any late-night parties, midnight movie premieres, or New Year’s Eve plans.‘
Total rule-breaker, right??
And then there’s the Creature of the Black Lagoon. I don’t even know where the nearest black lagoon is, so that means it’s proooobably in the middle of nowhere. I have serious problems with ‘middle-of-nowhere’-America because I am terrified of ruralness. What if you got murdered? No one would know. Also, lagoons probably smell like dead fish and mud which I’m pretty sure ranks second only to soup when it comes to worst-things-people-could-smell-like-according-to-Hayley.
Oh, and Frankenstein? Why even bother? Dude is totally trippin’ over them huge-ass shoes and he’s basically controlled by the scientist who made him. I don’t know about you homegirl, but I hate being tied down to someone who’s always blabbering “I like, *invented* her, you know what I mean?” Totally cramps my style. Not to mention the bolts in the head remind me of every.single.time I wear a headband and 2 hours later, I want to blow my head off because it’s so damn painful. Just not cool.
So if for SOME REASON, I get bitten by a vampire, it’s totally okay because I can still eat cinnamon rolls, and really, that’s the most important thing. You NEED to make these rolls; they are my new favorite item on the blog by far!
- 2 cans (5 rolls each) jumbo refrigerated cinnamon rolls (I used the kind by Trader Joe’s)
- 1 can apple pie filling
- 1 tub Pillsbury Caramel Apple frosting
- 1 cup chopped pecans
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 13×9″ baking pan or two 9″ round cake pans with cooking spray and set aside. Meanwhile, dump the contents of the pie filling onto a cutting board and chop the apples into small, bite-sized pieces.
- Separate each cinnamon roll and space them evenly throughout the pan(s). Using greased fingers, gently press an indentation in the center of each cinnamon roll, careful not to puncture completely through. You just want a cavity in the center of the roll.
- Fill the cavity with a heaping Tablespoon or so of the apple pie filling. If a little spills over, that’s okay.
- Bake the rolls for approx. 18-20 minutes, or until golden brown and puffy. Remove from the oven and let stand for about 5 minutes.
- With the foil and lid removed, microwave the frosting in the can for about 15-20 seconds or until slightly thinned and runny. Drizzle the frosting evenly over all of the cinnamon rolls. Top immediately with the chopped pecans. Serve room temperature or warmed, if desired.
These cinnamon rolls are SOFREAKINGAMAZINGHOLYBANANAS. They were gone in minutes at my house and I immediately made a second batch because they were so popular! The key here is to use the JUMBO, XXL-sized cinnamon rolls for the ultimate plushness and to be the perfect vehicle for that soft, spiced apple pie filling. Look for the XXL/jumbo-sized cinnamon rolls in the refrigerated section at the store–they usually come five or six to a container and are the ideal, chunky size for these huge rolls! And please, if you do anything, please stock up on that limited edition caramel apple icing by Pillsbury! It is SO good and tastes PERFECT on top of these warm, spicy cinnamon rolls.
Have a fantastical day!!