A few days ago, a coworker and I were headed up to the lunch room when she stopped to use the bathroom. I told her I’d just meet up with her and I continued on my merry way through the eerily quiet rows of cubicles.
After sitting down to eat my gourmet frozen meal, she came in and said “you’re a loud walker! I could hear you walking all the way down the hall.” At which point I looked down at my feet, clad in ballet flats and most certainly not Frankenstein-style boots, and frowned.
“How do you know it was me?” I asked suspiciously. Surely I couldn’t be the only one responsible for having a heavy step around here.
“Because everyone’s at that employee picnic. Duh,” she replied, and in that same instant, crushed my every hope of being graceful.
My whole life I have dreamed of being graceful. I’ve been creepy and watched people’s movements and gestures and have always admired those who gesticulated with purpose, who seemingly glided as they walked, and who had excellent posture. I took years of dance and spent years of being a posture-stalker only to be woefully inadequate in the grace department and clomp around like a bull wearing platforms inside of a china shop.
And sadly, I have been reminded of this imperfection before. In our old house we had tile and hardwood throughout, so when I walked around before people had woken up, they would always tell me they could “hear me” even if I hadn’t said a word. And when I’d spend the night at friend’s houses and would have to tiptoe down the carpeted hallway to the bathroom, it sounded like I was dragracing.
I mean, I don’t know how a woman’s feet can be so friggin’ LOUD but holy crap, my walk is seriously deafening.
So now I am UUUUUBER self-conscious of my rhinocerosesque gait when walking around upstairs. I’ve even resulted to tiptoeing while holding my breath just so I can double-ensure that I’m not being obscenely loud in my existence. This usually means that by the time I reach my destination, I’m panting and sweating and coughing, trying desperately to catch my breath and recirculate oxygen to my brain, and my arches hurt from walking on my toes. The plus side is all this tiptoeing has resulted in really toned calves, which is almost worth the fact that I’m nearly asphyxiating myself to get them.
Anywaaaay, it’s time for you to barrel into the kitchen and make yourself these blondies. True to their name, they’re straight-up, in yo face HEAVENLY, girlfran’, and if you aren’t eating them in the next hour I may have to bulldoze down your door and dropkick you with my lead foot.
- 2 pkgs refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough
- 2 jumbo Hershey's cookies + cream chocolate bars
- 1 (7 oz) jar marshmallow fluff/cream
- About 20 donut holes, halved
- About ½ cup chocolate icing (canned works!)
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8x8" pan with foil, extending the sides of the foil over the edges of the pan. Mist the foil with cooking spray.
- Gently press ONE (1) package of the cookie dough evenly onto the bottom of the pan. Top with the chocolate bars, breaking the pieces to fit as evenly as you can to cover the surface of the cookie dough. Top with an even layer of the marshmallow fluff.
- Top the marshmallow fluff with the halved donut holes, covering the surface evenly. Lastly, break apart and spread the remaining package of cookie dough to cover the tops of the donut layer. If the donuts peek through, that's okay.
- Bake for approx. 25-28 minutes or until the top is golden brown and mostly set. Allow to cool completely at room temperature before putting in the fridge to set, about 2 hours. They really DO need to set in order to come together, or else they'll be a gooey mess (not as good as it sounds).
- After it's cooled, drizzle on some melted chocolate icing for extra garnish :)
- Cut into bars and serve! Store covered, airtight, in the fridge.
So here’s the lowdown on these amazeballs donuts in Texas: they’re freshly fried donuts covered in fudge brownie pieces and marshmallow fluff. I meaaaaan.. hello sexy. These blondies take on those elements of the donut but are made simply by stacking all of the flavors and textures… and, of course, no frying required! They’ve got the fudge, the marshmallow, the donuts, and as a bonus, the buttery soft layers of cookie dough sandwiching everything together into one glorious blondie. They’re actually one of the best things I think I’ve ever made .. but that could be because I’m partial to donuts inside of blondies
Have a delicious day!