I totally shouldn’t be doing this.
I am tryyyying so desperately to eat better, at least before my New York trip this week. I know that once I’m there, all restraints are off the table and I am fully prepared to book an additional ticket exclusively for the 500 new pounds I will gain on my returning flight. Hello, pizza, hot dogs, pretzels and booze.
Anyway, so naturally, when I put myself on restriction from certain foods, EVERYTHING looks amazing. And I act like I have never tasted ordinary things before and become so enamored with them. Like M&M’s. Normally, I can turn my nose up at the regular kind (helloooo, why waste my time on plain chocolate when I could be eating the peanut or pretzel or almond ones?!), but a couple days ago I was baking with the regular kind and COULD NOTTTT keep my face out of the bag to save my life. Like, I actually almost suffocated from sticking my mouth and nose inside of the bag. It was both embarrassing and completely undignified, like that one time I used to model my everyday makeup routine after Queen Amidala, if Queen Amidala wore turquoise eye shadow up to her eyebrows and had tacky taste in frosty lipstick.
Or weird things, like chicken-flavored crackers or salsa-flavored chips, two things that, under any other circumstance, would be utterly repulsive to my palate, but when there’s an expectation of mindful eating to uphold, I toss its mindfulness right out the window and go to down, shoveling down weird, artificially-flavored chicken crackers like it’s going out of style.
I’m a hot mess.
And then there are those freakin’ Girl Scouts. They’ve infiltrated the public to the point where I can’t even walk outside without a gang of them plotting my diet’s demise from across the street. And what’s worse is they’re now wearing costumes that look like the cookies and I am sadly unable to resist a toothless kiddo in a Samoa cookie costume because that is just too damn cute.
Anyway, since I’m now a recluse engorging myself on questionable foods in my attempt to avoid Girl Scout Cookies and other temptations of the sort (not really), I decided to avoid the cuties in costume and make some Samoas at home for myself. I figured if I could control what went into them (btw, I ran out of crack so it’s def. not one of the main ingredients–PS, I am onto you, Girl Scouts) even if I couldn’t control how many I ate (spoiler alert: a lot). Also, I got to save $4 to spend on unnecessary things, like New York street food. Or an elastic addition to the waistband of my pants.
And while we’re at it, I should apologize because you can’t quit this because ohmaahhgawsssh it’s soooooo good. I need Samoaaaaaaaa of them. I’ll stop while I’m ahead.
- ¾ cup butter, softened
- ¾ cup dark brown sugar
- ¼ cup sugar
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 2 tsp cornstarch
- ½ tsp salt
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 cup Samoas cookies, chopped*
- ½ cup Hershey's Coconut Creme Kisses, roughly chopped
- 1 & ½ cups shredded coconut
- 1 bag caramels, unwrapped
- ½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the butter and sugars until creamy. Add the vanilla + egg and beat to combine. Stir in the baking soda, cornstarch, salt + flour until mixture resembles a soft dough. Stir in the chopped cookies + Hershey's Kisses by hand.
- Chill the dough in the fridge for at least an hour, or overnight.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Drop rounded, tall Tablespoonfuls of dough about 1-2" apart on lightly greased or silicone-lined cookie sheets. Bake for approx. 10 minutes, rotating pans halfway through baking time. Allow cookies to cool on the sheets for about 5 minutes before carefully transferring to a wire rick to cool completely.
- While the cookies cool, reduce the oven temperature to 300 degrees F. Reusing one of the greased or lined cookie sheets, spread the coconut in an even layer. Bake for 5 minutes. Turn the coconut, then bake another 5 minutes. Turn once more, and bake another 5 minutes or until coconut has toasted to a light golden brown color. Cool the coconut.
- After cookies and coconut have cooled, in a microwave-safe bowl, heat the caramels for 45 seconds on HIGH. Stir, add a splash of milk or water, and continue melting another 30 seconds, stirring after each heating. Once smooth and melted, gently fold in the toasted coconut and toss to coat.
- Using a greased spoon (or greased fingers), drop Tablespoonfuls of the coconut caramel mixture onto the tops of the cooled cookies-- careful, the mixture will be hot, but you must work carefully while the caramel is still soft and pliable. Gently smear the mixture around the circumference of the cookie. Repeat with remaining cookies.
- Once cookies have been topped with the coconut caramel mixture, heat the chocolate chips to melt. Drizzle the tops with melted chocolate; allow the chocolate to set. Store leftovers airtight, at room temperature, for several days.
- **Don't want to spring $5/box on Samoas? Keebler makes a cheap knock-off Samoas version. I've found it at Target, Walmart, and other local grocery chains.**
Oh my word, guys. These cookies are INSANITY. So while the base isn’t crispy and crunchy like the shortbread-y base of a traditional Samoa, it’s replaced with a ridiculously chewy and soft brown sugary substitute that tastes of butter and coconut and honestly, everything dreamy ingredient a cookie is supposed to have. And that buttery, smooth caramel and the nutty toasted coconut mounded on top of each cookie offers the authentic sweet and toasty texture and flavor of Samoas. In other words, these are HIGHLY ADDICTIVE. And you must try them!
Have a great day!!