A few days ago, my grandma was telling us a story about my dad and how he ate an entire box of macaroni and cheese shortly before he was due to meet my mom’s parents for the first time.
My grandma asked my dad why he was eating all that macaroni and cheese right before he was supposed to have dinner with my mom and her parents soon. My dad replied, “because you don’t know how much food there will be.”
And in that instant, any conflicting thoughts of me possibly being adopted dissipated into thin air because OHMAHGOSH that’s SO me.
Have you ever been invited to someone’s house and they’re like, “there’ll be food!” so you’re like “sweet, I will save my precious calories for this party promised with lots of yummy food!” and you get there and there’s like, NOTHING but a bag of chips and you’re like …. oh my god, these are non-food people.
Non-food people are people who don’t really like food or think about food the way food people do. It’s quite simple. You either love food and think about it constantly, or you don’t. And non-food folk scare the living jeebus out of me because they never have anything to eat at their house, parties which there is supposed to be food means the food will always be scarce because they actually think a box of macaroni and cheese is supposed to serve four people which is absolutely HILARIOUSLY silly, and where if you get more than seconds at their house, you’ll look like you haven’t eaten in six weeks and you’re a glutton. It’s a lose-lose, people.
And for some reason, I have the uncanny ability of choosing friends who are non-food people. So I’ll go to their house and I’m feeling rather peckish, and they’ll be like, “we have some Raisin Bran” and I’m like OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU LIVING RIGHT NOW because there’s nary a box of crackers or a granola bar or a banana in sight and obviously people don’t choose to keep Raisin Bran on hand for guests who like food. I mean, Raisin Bran? I thought we were friends. What the hell.
Anyway, just so we’re clear, I am always a food person, so if you ever come to my house, you’re welcome to my pantry which is always stocked with stuff in preparation for a future apocalypse in which none of the nearby grocery stores carry cereal, chips or cake mix. Seriously — it appears at first glance that is all my family eats. And well, it’s basically true.
And if you come over, I’ll be sure to tempt you foodies with some delightful cookies. Together, we’ll eat cookies, shun Raisin Bran forever, and then go out to Red Robin and proceed to eat six baskets of extra crispy fries together because that’s what foodie friends do, dangit.
And I am your foodie friend for life.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Heart Chip Cookies *adapted from the Rainbow M&M Cookies recipe
- ½ cup butter, softened
- ⅓ cup smooth peanut butter
- ¾ cup brown sugar
- ¼ cup sugar
- 1 egg
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 2 tsp cornstarch
- ½ tsp salt
- ⅓ cup peanut butter chips
- ⅓ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
- About 28 chocolate peanut butter heart candies (I found mine by Palmer’s at the Dollar Tree–holla)
- First, make yo’ dough. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the butter, peanut butter and sugars until creamy. Add in the egg and vanilla and beat to combine. Pour in the flour, soda, cornstarch and salt and gently beat until a soft dough comes together. Stir in the peanut butter + chocolate chips evenly. Chill the dough approx. 30 min-1 hour.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with silicone liners or mist lightly with cooking spray. Drop heaping Tablespoonfuls of dough about 1-2″ apart on the baking sheets. Bake for approx. 8-10 minutes, rotating pans halfway through baking time, until set and golden. Remove from oven.
- A minute after taking the cookies out, gently press an unwrapped peanut butter heart candy in the center of the cookie. Allow the cookies to set on the cookie sheets about 10 minutes before transferring carefully to a wire rack to cool completely. Store the cookies airtight, at room temperature, up to a week.
ERMAHGERD, GUYS. These cookies rock my socks! The peanut butter/chocolate chip cookie base is my favorite basic cookie recipe because it’s chewy, soft, and totally luscious. I love how the edges crisp up as it bakes, giving that nice texture along the outer rim of each bite. And the pockets of melty peanut butter + semi sweet chips are positively irresistible. Then, of course, you have that huge chocolate peanut butter heart pressed smack-dab in the middle, providing a gooey, warm center for these tasty treats! If you want to be super fancy, sprinkle some sea salt on top just after pressing the candy in the middle. Or substitute caramel-filled candies for a fun sweet-and-salty twist.
Have a good day!