So Halloween. Yeah, it came and went, but I have a confession to make. I trick or treated. And it was
Okay, I know I’m only 21 which technically isn’t old, but I think this year was the last I can get away with TOTing. Now before you naysayers get all “do what you want, who cares!” (and that was myself a couple days ago), you need to know some pertinent info first. Case in point:
Your pillowcase full of candy becomes a makeshift mask of shame. I can’t tell you how many times I pulled that pillowcase over my face to hide my damn shame while ringing doorbells for free candy. Yeah, yeah, I’m a hardworking adult and want a freakin’ free mini Almond Joy. But when you’re trailing behind (or worse, in front of) ACTUAL children wearing ACTUAL costumes (and not some questionable Where’s Waldo get-up), ringing doorbells for said candy, it’s a little embarrassing. Many times I bypassed perfectly spooky houses because there were tons of actual kids TOTing or because it wasn’t worth my awkward, shameful giggle when I said “trick or treat!!” and the parents realized I’m only like, ten years younger than them. #facepalm
I have severe candy anxiety. Ugh. Don’t get me started. Even back in my heyday when I was TOTing appropriately-so, I had candy anxiety. You know the sitch. You ring the doorbell and the parent greets you with a bigass cauldron of candy and lets you choose your poison. My siblings surrounding me take exactly what they want with no sweat, but I, anxious to have been put on the spot with such obvious life-or-death choosing, grabs the nearest wrapper to me and scolds myself seconds later when I realized I grabbed a Crunch bar and WHO THE HELL LIKES CRUNCH? I totally did that last night and briefly considered tossing my candy bar back in their cauldron to grab the Almond Joy I spotted seconds too late but realized I was pushing my luck already with the whole age thing and didn’t want to accidentally insult anyone despite my practical anxiety problems.
Creepy old men just get creepier. While TOTing (with Jessie, my even-older, bearded boyfriend–sigh), he lurked in the shadows at times (in shame) while I was left to my own lonely devices to ring doorbells. At one point, a creepy old man answered and asked “are you alone?” and then proceeded to award my loneliness with a full-sized candy bar. I’m assuming it was because he liked my inventive costume and not because he pitied me because I was A) an old person TOTing and/or B) because I was so old I couldn’t even find other old friends or impersonate some older kid-friend of young kids to TOT with me.
And teens just get judgier. Nothing is worse than ringing a doorbell, eagerly awaiting your free candy (and blatantly ignoring your dignity), and having a teenager who is OBVIOUSLY younger than you answer the door. And what’s WORSE is their expression, some kind of soul-crushing half-smirk like they feel sorry for you and can’t believe you’re like an adult like, trick or treating while their 15-year old self hands out candy. Does this like, count as community service?
Or, oh yeah. When I overheard teenagers saying “if people are trick or treating past the age of like, 18, that’s kinda weird.” After that, I quickly scurried away into the night, never to TOT again. And I didn’t even get a damn Almond Joy.
Anywho, if you’re stuck with a boatload of leftover candy like moi, you need a way to reuse it rather than stuffing it in your cheeks, chipmunk-style. My suggestion is stuffing into cookies, brilliant-style.
All the cool kids do it.
Oatmeal Butterfinger Fluffernutter Cookies *adapted from Sally’s Chewy Oatmeal M&M Cookies recipe
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1 & 2/3 cups old-fashioned oats
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup flour
3/4 cup chopped Butterfingers
About 1/3 cup marshmallow fluff
1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the butter and sugars until smooth. Beat in the egg, vanilla and the peanut butter until blended.
2. Carefully stir in the baking soda, oats and flour until just combined, Do not overmix. Stir in the chopped Butterfingers by hand to incorporate. Then, gently fold in the marshmallow fluff but do not mix too much–you want pockets of fluff, so avoid mixing it in fully.
3. Cover and chill the dough in the fridge for at least an hour. Once chilled, preheat your oven to 325 degrees F.
4. Drop Tablespoonfuls of dough about 2″ apart on a silicone-lined or lightly sprayed cookie sheet. Bake for approx. 10-12 minutes, rotating pans halfway through bake time, until lightly golden and set in the middle. Cool on pans a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
5. Store cookies airtight, at room temperature, for a couple days.
I LOVE the combination of the chewy oats, the creamy peanut butter, the chunks of Butterfinger and the deliciously sweet pockets of marshmallow fluff. All the flavors merry beautifully for a unique cookie that’s both a twist on the classic fluffernutter sandwich and a scrumptious cookie jar fave, the oatmeal pb cookie. You’ll love these!