Dear Facebook People Trying To Add Me,
You claim we were in high school together? Well, I remember when I was there but I definitely don’t remember you. Which is kind of saying a lot since I remember faces really well and I definitely don’t remember yours. I wonder if people think my face isn’t memorable. BRB while I ponder that while crying into a cocktail.
Okay, I’m back, and I still don’t remember you. I mean, did we even have a class together? Did you even say a word to me–even “excuse me” maybe passing by in the hallway? Or “can I borrow a pencil?”? Because I sure as hell don’t remember you ever talking to me, either. Not that I remember every conversation I had in high school, though I’m going to sum them up right now:
Oh my god, I totally wish ___ would come talk to me. I’ve been stalking his MySpace page like crazy. Did you read Dracula yet? It totally resonated with me. Hold on, I need to write in my LiveJournal about my crappy day at school while listening to screamo music and browsing Hot Topic’s new arrivals.
See? You and I never had this conversation. And I’m guessing I didn’t have a crush on you in high school because A) you didn’t exist to me; and B) I either avoid my past crushes like the plague or I’ve come to terms with the fact that, like screamo music and turquoise eyeshadow up to my eyebrows, some things come and go in phases including taste in gawky high school boys.
So why you’re trying to add me now is beyond me. Especially since you’re definitely not going to start talking to me now, 5 years after we’ve graduated, but rather, just sit on my friends list like a weird fly on the wall, looking at my pictures and never saying a word.
So, I’m sorry, but I can’t add you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re about as nonexistent as flying pigs and unicorns. But sadly, not as cool, because flying pigs sound pretty dang cool.
Now, onto these Mummy Truffles. They have nothing to do with Facebook, but they’re awfully cute and that’s reason to bring them up enough. These are easy little truffles to whip up for the kids for Halloween and are super adorable, too!
1 pkg Oreo cookies, finely crushed
4 oz (or 1/2 can) cream cheese frosting
1 pkg white chocolate almond bark
1. In a large bowl, combine the finely crushed Oreo crumbs and the cream cheese icing until thoroughly combined.
2. Roll the mixture into 1″ balls and place on a foil-lined baking sheet. Freeze the truffle balls for approx. 30 minutes or until solid.
3. Prepare the almond bark according to package directions. Dip the truffles into the coating, covering it completely and allowing excess to drip off. Repeat with remaining truffles. Let the truffles set about 10 minutes.
4. Take the remaining white chocolate bark and place into a ziploc baggy. Seal the air out and snip off a corner. Drizzle the remaining chocolate onto the truffles. Quickly adorn the truffles with the candy eyeballs and let set.