I’m assuming this is because I’m probably the biggest party pooper EVER and I happen to be conveniently dating the biggest party lover EVER.
If we aren’t completely black + white, I don’t know what is.
So anyway, lately he’s been like “I’m going to leave soon–so&so is having a get-together” or “tomorrow night I can’t hang out; person A and person B are throwing a party at person A’s house.”
Now, I know what you suspicious women are thinking: is he cheating on her? Oh my god, if he is, I swear I’m going to rip his head off internetly since I don’t know where he lives! But rest assured, he’s not. I mean, *technically* he could be. But I think the probability of that is about as much of a chance as pigs not only flying, but also wearing monocles and teaching law school. Really not going to happen.
Honestly, he probably doesn’t invite me anywhere because truth is, I hate people. That’s just what it comes down to. The drinking, the smoking, the up-lateness… it conflicts against my staying-in-with-a-wine-cooler-and-being-on-Pinterest-in-my-yoga-pants-all-night plans. Oh, did I say “all night”? I meant until 9pm.
Plus, when I do get out with him, I’m always pigeon-holed into one of two positions: Awkward Standing Girl or Angry Texting Girl.
Awkward Standing Girl goes as follows. Enter party with Jessie. Jessie walks around saying hi and chatting with everyone. I stand by awkwardly and eventually, lose him to the throng of smokers outside where he typically resides during parties. This means I stand awkwardly in the corner, maybe bobbing my head lamely to the music if I’m feeling feisty, but usually just standing there, twiddling my thumbs and desperately praying that the friendly dog walking around comes back so I can pet it half to death since it’s the only thing I care to associate with.
Angry Texting Girl is when I’m in a particularly bitchy mood (more than normal) and stand in the corner awkwardly, but this time, ferociously texting someone–ANYONE, people–or Instagramming, tweeting, web-surfing, shoot, sometimes even just tapping random apps on my home screen. Every so often I’ll occasionally look up to survey the yep, still lame party, and inevitably I’ll make eye contact with some drunk douche and I’ll give him this evil eye so he leaves me alone so I can go back to checking tomorrow’s weather for 981st time.
So basically, I’m not invited anywhere. I’m not exactly shedding tears. After all, had I been Angry Texting Girl or Awkward Standing Girl, I wouldn’t have made these blondies. Blondies are always cooler than people. Fact.
Specifically, White Chocolate Caramel Cashew Cookie Blondies. A name, yes, but one that introduces you to some of the bestest blondies evah.
The line-up: a tried-and-true (killer) basic blondie base stuffed with chopped white chocolate macadamia nut cookies (Pepperidge Farm’s Tahoe are my favorite), a middle layer of oozing caramel, and roasted cashews. Sounds like a lot, but really, it works. It works damn good. The cookies get soft and provide an added sweetness, and the mixture of macadamia nuts and cashews gives these nice texture, saltiness and a good crunch. And a caramel swirl for good measure. All in all, some of my fave blondies. Seriously.
It’s worth staying in for, trust me.
White Chocolate Caramel Cashew Blondies *adapted from my Salted Butterscotch Blondies recipe
2/3 cup butter
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 pkg Pepperidge Farm Tahoe cookies (or about 8 white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, chopped coarsely)
About 1/2 cup roasted cashews
1/2 cup caramel sundae sauce
1. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter and brown sugar over medium heat, stirring frequently. Once melted, remove from heat to cool for about 5-10 mins.
2. One at a time, mix in the eggs and vanilla extract. Lastly, stir in the flour, baking powder, soda, and salt to combine. Stir the chopped cookies and roasted cashews into the batter.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8×8 inch baking pan with foil, extending the sides over the edges of the pan. Lightly mist with cooking spray.
4. Pour half the batter into the prepared pan, smoothing to even out. Drizzle the caramel evenly over the batter. Top with remaining batter, smoothing out evenly to cover caramel as much as possible (it’s okay if some of the caramel peeks through). Bake for approx. 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out mostly clean. You want these a bit underdone.
5. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into squares. Store airtight, at room temperature, up to 2 days.
Ooey, gooey blondies stuffed with some awesome flavors, textures and add-ins. Does it get any better?? (The answer is yes, but only when you’re eating them at home, avoiding people, and Pinning like mad).