Dear Guys, Males, Boys,
Your specie never ceases to amaze me. Sometimes, in good ways, like when you prove you’re chivalrous. Other times, in bad ways, like when you burp or walk around in sandals. Sometimes sandals with socks. Those are the true gems.
But often, I run into your kind that doesn’t really get it. Whether they’ve tried it once before and by some kind of once in a millionth blue moon, Twilight-Zone type of miracle moment it worked or what, they try it again and it just confuses the crap out of me.
Like when y’all drive by reaaalllly slowly, roll down your window and start shouting at me in the Trader Joe’s parking lot: “Hey! Hey you! Hey! What’s up girl?!” Pedophiles do that. And they offer candy, which aside from a faulty attempt at a pick up, you’re lacking. You’re just being creepy and I’m not sure where and when this ever worked in your favor, but generally, there’s a golden rule that women don’t acknowledge losers who drive in parking lots of organic grocery stores trying to pick up chicks from their cars.
Or when your socially-awkward friends come into my work with an (adorable!!) Corgi puppy and everyone freaks out and pets it and I ask general dog questions and suddenly, he interprets that as an invitation to get reallyclose to me, introduce himself, and begin showing up with said-adorable dog from now on in a weird attempt to use his dog as his pick-up.
Like today, when aforementioned socially-awkward man came back and caught me cleaning tables outside and said, “Buster and I came back to say hello” in a weird husky voice that’s not his normal voice. And then he proceeded to follow me around the shop until I crawled back into the furthermost corner to avoid making eye contact with creepy puppy man.
So again, some of your kind rock, like my own Jessie. He’s awesome! He makes me laugh and takes me to get snow cones like, six days a week and calls me beautiful every day. Also, he opens my door which is like, the hottest thing evah. It’s the little things, people!
So if y’all could mention that to the dudes who openly burp and act like douches at my work and then approach the counter and try to act all suave and sexy… it doesn’t work, and being a real gentleman does.
Also, if you make and/or eat this Nutella Mallow Puppy Chow with me, that’s kinda sorta awesome.
Guys love chocolate and marshmallows and peanut butter and crunchy things. Or so I’ve heard. So maybe make this for the gentleman (or men!) in your life and thank them for not acting like a creep. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it!
Nutella Mallow Puppy Chow *adapted from THIS recipe from Moms Who Think
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup Nutella
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 bag Jet-Puffed chocolate covered mini marshmallows (can substitute regular mini marshmallows)
About 8 cups chocolate flavored Chex cereal
About 3 cups powdered sugar
1. In a large microwaveable bowl, heat together the PB, butter, Nutella, chocolate chips and vanilla for 45 seconds on HIGH; stir, then reheat for an additional 15-30 seconds until smooth & melted. Do not overheat or the chocolate will burn!
2. Immediately stir the marshmallows and the chocolate chex cereal into the bowl and gently toss to combine. Set aside.
3. Pour the powdered sugar in a large resealable gallon-size bag. Fold over the mouth of the bag and pour the coated cereal mixture into the powdered sugar. Seal the bag and vigorously shake the bag for a minute, ensuring each piece is coated thoroughly with powdered sugar.
4. Store leftovers airtight for about a week at room temperature.
Love puppy chow? Me too. Here’s some more chow-chow for you humans:
Lemon & White Chocolate Chex Chow from me
Birthday Cake Puppy Chow from me
S’mores Puppy Chow from Sally’s Baking Addiction
Cookies n Cream Chex Mix from Cooking Classy
Gluten Free Strawberries n Cream Puppy Chow from Glutenista
Have a terrific day!!