Growing up, I wasn’t really into sports.
I’ve always been an active kid, but it was preferred on my own terms, not going to practice or doing team sports.
I played basketball for four years and danced on & off my whole life, but otherwise, team sports never interested me.
For one, I hate when the coaches play favorites. Sure, they say they’d “never play favorites” and blah blah blah, but that’s like Snooki saying she’ll be a good mom. You just kind of nod your head thinking “this is a total lie, shut up, blah blah blah” and move on.
And unless your kid is a jerk or like, super-humanly good, they’re never played. Ever. And the coaches act like Little League is suddenly, like, the World Series and you’re like “dude, I get that you never made it as a big baseball star and are now living vicariously through seven year olds, but forreals, back off. We’re seven. We may still pee the bed. You can’t really expect superstar baseball material from us.”
Plus, I always hated practices. Why couldn’t we just get on with the games and the shows?! Practices and rehearsals were so boring. I loathed doing drills over and over and over which made my eight-year old self want to ram my head into a brick wall. It’s probably because I have a problem where, during team sports, I take on this farfetched idea that I’m better than everyone else and obviously don’t need any additional practice and so I adopt this hoity-toity attitude (wrongfully so) and thus loathe practices.
At any rate, I’m not and have never been a huge sports fan. I don’t usually cheer on football games (the Superbowl, in my eyes, is solely for eating food I never eat on a regular basis, like dip and fancy sausage and cheese) and as far as I’m concerned, baseball is by far the most mind-numbing televised sport besides golf. But we don’t watch golf in our house and if we did, I suspect my dad would murder us. Or our brains would swell with intense boredom and our heads would self-implode.
This is coming from the girl who gets juiced watching Real Housewives, I know, but forreal, golf? Blech.
However, I always think the Olympic games are pretty cool. The world’s best, most skilled, fastest athletes all competing for medals? A good show if you ask me. And by ‘good show’, I mean the men’s swimming part. Hellooooo, half-naked, glistening dudes.
Plus, in the grand scheme of things, being a professional athlete would be like, the easiest job ever (aside from a Real Housewife). You eat a bajillion calories a day, work out for your job, and then kick ass and travel all over the world for real gold medals, not those tacky coated ones you got as a kid.
The best part is probably the eating limitless calories part because let’s get real, that’d be awesome.
So I’m going to take it upon myself for these upcoming Olympic games to eat limitless calories since the athletes can and because it’s strenuous just watching them work hard. For this, I made an Olympic Torch Snack Mix that’s both easy and festive for the games.
I realize that my Olympic torches look a bit like funky ice cream cones, or like nothing at all except weird chocolate-coated Bugles, but in the grand scheme of things, I think they look pretty cute. At least they taste good, if for the fact that they look nothing like what they’re supposed to be. Olympic torch, ice cream cone, clown-like Bugle… whatever. Miiiinor details, people.
You should totally make some and shovel it in yo face.
About 2 cups Bugles chips
1/2 pkg red candy melts
1/2 pkg white chocolate Candiquik
Blue and black food coloring
Red & yellow sanding sugar
Mini Reese’s PB Cups
Fiddle Faddle (or caramel corn)
Red, white and blue M&M’s
1. First, make your torches. Line a rimmed baking sheet with wax paper and set aside. In a small bowl, microwave the Candiquik until smooth. Stir in equal parts blue and black food coloring (I used gel coloring–and also, start with a little, then work your way up). You’ll gradually get a purplish gray color; this is fine. (If you add too much food coloring, the chocolate was congeal).
2. Dip the Bugles in the gray mixture and lay flat on the baking sheet. Freeze to harden. Once hardened, dip the mouths of the Bugles into the melted red candy melts. Roll the red portion of the Bugles into the red and yellow sprinkles to create a shimmering “flame.” Return the coated chips to the pan to harden once again.
3. In a large bowl, combine the torches, the PB cups, caramel corn, pretzels, M&M’s and marshmallows with a spoon. Serve immediately, or store airtight for approx. 2-3 days at room temperature.
**Note: there are no specific measurements here because I like to be able to adjust the recipe to my family’s likings. I used about a cup of each thing so there was a good, equal variety, but feel free to adjust measurements to your needs, or mix and match ingredients. Peanut M&Ms, yogurt pretzels, cashews, or mini Oreos would all be good subs.**
I love the sweet & salty combination of this festive mix. The crunchy pretzels & caramel corn, the unexpected sweetness from the M&M’s, the cute Bugles chips and the chewy, sweet star marshmallows all make an awesome, versatile mix for any games party!!
And please don’t judge my kinda not really Olympic torches lol.
Have a great day!!