Hi, my name’s Hayley–sometimes known as ‘The Domestic Rebel’ to my online friends, ‘Haystack’ or ‘Skye’ to my family, ‘poop’ to Jessie, and ‘that lady who kisses me, talks to me in weird voices and walks me’ to my beloved dog, Mannie.
I’m also a pretty decent driver–did you know that?
And I’m seeking someone reliable, responsible, dependable. Someone I can count on when times are good, tough, and everything in between.
Someone who will spontaneously want to go with me anywhere my mind takes me–be it the lake on a hot summer’s day, to work, to the mall (sooo… every day), or to longer trips, like a tentatively-planned trip down South this summer with Jessie, or to San Francisco for the day to escape Sacramento’s death heat.
Someone who will let me sing as loud as my lungs can possibly handle the lack of air as I crappily belt a tune–and for that matter, someone who can handle the fact that I am boring and listen to the same four songs on repeat.
Someone who will let me be a little messy sometimes and throw my used water bottles and half-eaten salt & vinegar baked chips around because I was disappointed that they were more potato-y and less salt and vinegar-y so I abandoned them and never looked back (I’m looking at you, Kettle Baked).
Someone who will appreciate the silence, the loud music, the road rage, my inner monologues (often recited when I’m alone), and who will be the overall best, most loyal ever.
Soooo… what kind of car should I get?
I am so not looking forward to buying a car, but I need one–bad. My Chevy Malibu is on her last legs and frankly, I’m not looking forward to the day she craps out on me while I’m driving her. And by ‘craps out on me’, I mean the time where I was on the freeway and my ENTIRE ENGINE DIED.
That was… fun.
*cue teenage hysterics and hellaciously expensive new engine*
She’s fourteen years old and has somewhere around 135K miles on her, which technically isn’t that old, but in American cars (with my experience, anyway) it is. The speakers are falling apart, as is the gear-shift knob. The brakes are starting to wear down and I supposedly need new tires. And honestly, there’s just a point when you have to trade it in before I’m driving it to work a la Fred Flinstone with my feet as the wheels.
And I mos. def. don’t want to ruin my pedicure, so that’s not an option, thankyouverymuch.
As I take walks with Mannie or drive around town, I look at other cars and try to imagine myself driving them which usually results in crazy reveries where I’m famous and rich and sporting oversized sunglasses and blasting music while the windows are rolled down and I’m drinking something from Starbucks because it seems like the cool-driver-girl thing to do. Even though I don’t even own sunglasses, and I’m hardly rich. The famous part, though… that was true.
Honestly, I was never one of those girls obsessed with cars. I was more preoccupied with other things like magazines and makeup to care about the latest model of whatever-luxury brand.
In fact, a few months ago, Jessie, my dad and I watched a show about some hillbilly who won the lottery and he spent his money on race cars. I asked my dad what car he’d buy if he won the lotto and he said something fancy sounding and expensive, echoed by Jessie. Then they asked me. I struggled to find a nice, luxury-type car I’d like that wasn’t something completely ostentatious or neon-colored.
“A Range Rover?” I replied.
Then they shot daggers at me through their eyes, pierced and deflated my soul, and told me I should never win the lotto because that’s a stupid car-choosing answer.
Obviously I was just thinking of something coolish–the Olsen twins drive them, after all–but it’s not like I’m married to Range Rovers. I totally meant to tell them a Lexus RX 350 because for some unknown reason, I am obsessed with the Lexus RX series. No idea why. They’re just badass SUVs. And I want one.
Kinda to the point where I’ll dream about me wearing cool sunglasses and drinking Starbucks while driving one. All the time. In fact, in my mind, I already have a sleek, steel gray one parked in my driveway. With a used Starbucks cup in the cupholder. Obvi.
Buuuuut if we want to crush Hayley’s dreams here, I have no money toward a car and hardly enough money to put down for a Lexus. So if anyone has reasonable, realistic cars they recommend, let me know. Because I can’t quite afford Lambos just yet, please leave those out of the recommendations. As well as Range Rovers, since if I brought one home, I’d probably be murdered.
In other news, I made Funfetti Rainbow Bars. They cheered me up when I realized my car sucks and I don’t, in fact, own a Lexus RX 350. Or a pair of sunglasses. At first, life lost a little meaning, until I baked these. Then I smiled until I realized I ate like, fifteen squares.
1 box Funfetti cake mix
1/2 cup oil
1 cup white chocolate chips
Lemon yellow, violet, teal and pink Wilton gel food colors
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 13×9 inch baking pan with cooking spray and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, mix the cake mix, eggs and oil until blended. Dough will be thicker. Portion the batter evenly among four smaller bowls. Tint each bowl a different color until you’ve achieved your desired shade. I did mine on the more pastel-y side, but feel free to make them lighter or brighter.
3. Next, drop heaping Tablespoonfuls of different colors of dough into your baking pan. I alternated colors so I got different color patterns around my pan. Once all the dough is in the pan (think stained glass, almost), gently press it all together, sealing any cracks, with a greased rubber spatula. Lastly, sprinkle the white chocolate chips over the top of the dough and gently press them into the dough with the spatula.
4. Bake for approx. 15 minutes or until center is set and edges are just beginning to turn golden brown. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into bars. Store airtight up to 2 days.
I brought these to wake up my morning math class and everyone was so surprised to receive treats–there weren’t any left! They’re such an easy way to dress up such a simple cake mix bar recipe–and fun, too!