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Funfetti Rainbow Bars

Hi, my name’s Hayley–sometimes known as ‘The Domestic Rebel’ to my online friends, ‘Haystack’ or ‘Skye’ to my family, ‘poop’ to Jessie, and ‘that lady who kisses me, talks to me in weird voices and walks me’ to my beloved dog, Mannie.

I’m also a pretty decent driver–did you know that?

And I’m seeking someone reliable, responsible, dependable. Someone I can count on when times are good, tough, and everything in between.

Someone who will spontaneously want to go with me anywhere my mind takes me–be it the lake on a hot summer’s day, to work, to the mall (sooo… every day), or to longer trips, like a tentatively-planned trip down South this summer with Jessie, or to San Francisco for the day to escape Sacramento’s death heat.

Someone who will let me sing as loud as my lungs can possibly handle the lack of air as I crappily belt a tune–and for that matter, someone who can handle the fact that I am boring and listen to the same four songs on repeat.

Seriously.

Someone who will let me be a little messy sometimes and throw my used water bottles and half-eaten salt & vinegar baked chips around because I was disappointed that they were more potato-y and less salt and vinegar-y so I abandoned them and never looked back (I’m looking at you, Kettle Baked).

Someone who will appreciate the silence, the loud music, the road rage, my inner monologues (often recited when I’m alone), and who will be the overall best, most loyal ever.

Soooo… what kind of car should I get?

I am so not looking forward to buying a car, but I need one–bad. My Chevy Malibu is on her last legs and frankly, I’m not looking forward to the day she craps out on me while I’m driving her. And by ‘craps out on me’, I mean the time where I was on the freeway and my ENTIRE ENGINE DIED.

That was… fun.

*cue teenage hysterics and hellaciously expensive new engine*

She’s fourteen years old and has somewhere around 135K miles on her, which technically isn’t that old, but in American cars (with my experience, anyway) it is. The speakers are falling apart, as is the gear-shift knob. The brakes are starting to wear down and I supposedly need new tires. And honestly, there’s just a point when you have to trade it in before I’m driving it to work a la Fred Flinstone with my feet as the wheels.

And I mos. def. don’t want to ruin my pedicure, so that’s not an option, thankyouverymuch.

As I take walks with Mannie or drive around town, I look at other cars and try to imagine myself driving them which usually results in crazy reveries where I’m famous and rich and sporting oversized sunglasses and blasting music while the windows are rolled down and I’m drinking something from Starbucks because it seems like the cool-driver-girl thing to do. Even though I don’t even own sunglasses, and I’m hardly rich. The famous part, though… that was true.

Honestly, I was never one of those girls obsessed with cars. I was more preoccupied with other things like magazines and makeup to care about the latest model of whatever-luxury brand.

In fact, a few months ago, Jessie, my dad and I watched a show about some hillbilly who won the lottery and he spent his money on race cars. I asked my dad what car he’d buy if he won the lotto and he said something fancy sounding and expensive, echoed by Jessie. Then they asked me. I struggled to find a nice, luxury-type car I’d like that wasn’t something completely ostentatious or neon-colored.

“A Range Rover?” I replied.

Then they shot daggers at me through their eyes, pierced and deflated my soul, and told me I should never win the lotto because that’s a stupid car-choosing answer.

Obviously I was just thinking of something coolish–the Olsen twins drive them, after all–but it’s not like I’m married to Range Rovers. I totally meant to tell them a Lexus RX 350 because for some unknown reason, I am obsessed with the Lexus RX series. No idea why. They’re just badass SUVs. And I want one.

Kinda to the point where I’ll dream about me wearing cool sunglasses and drinking Starbucks while driving one. All the time. In fact, in my mind, I already have a sleek, steel gray one parked in my driveway. With a used Starbucks cup in the cupholder. Obvi.

Buuuuut if we want to crush Hayley’s dreams here, I have no money toward a car and hardly enough money to put down for a Lexus. So if anyone has reasonable, realistic cars they recommend, let me know. Because I can’t quite afford Lambos just yet, please leave those out of the recommendations. As well as Range Rovers, since if I brought one home, I’d probably be murdered.

In other news, I made Funfetti Rainbow Bars. They cheered me up when I realized my car sucks and I don’t, in fact, own a Lexus RX 350. Or a pair of sunglasses. At first, life lost a little meaning, until I baked these. Then I smiled until I realized I ate like, fifteen squares.

Hope Lexus makes fat-people cars…

Funfetti Rainbow Bars

1 box Funfetti cake mix
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
1 cup white chocolate chips
Lemon yellow, violet, teal and pink Wilton gel food colors

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally grease a 13×9 inch baking pan with cooking spray and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, mix the cake mix, eggs and oil until blended. Dough will be thicker. Portion the batter evenly among four smaller bowls. Tint each bowl a different color until you’ve achieved your desired shade. I did mine on the more pastel-y side, but feel free to make them lighter or brighter.
3. Next, drop heaping Tablespoonfuls of different colors of dough into your baking pan. I alternated colors so I got different color patterns around my pan. Once all the dough is in the pan (think stained glass, almost), gently press it all together, sealing any cracks, with a greased rubber spatula. Lastly, sprinkle the white chocolate chips over the top of the dough and gently press them into the dough with the spatula.
4. Bake for approx. 15 minutes or until center is set and edges are just beginning to turn golden brown. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into bars. Store airtight up to 2 days.

I brought these to wake up my morning math class and everyone was so surprised to receive treats–there weren’t any left! They’re such an easy way to dress up such a simple cake mix bar recipe–and fun, too!

Hope you enjoy! Have a wonderful Thursday!

xo, Hayley

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Comments

  1. On the freeway? Seriously. That’s a bummer. I would’ve probably dissolved into a pile of tears.

    Cars…well I stopped buying “American” awhile ago for that same reason. Possibly because Mel’s Chevy Blazer died on him every week for 3 straight weeks (that’s 3x$300) before we got wise and traded her in for a Camry. (And the only reason he currently has a Chevy is because it was free, my parents gave it to us when they got a new truck.) I love Toyota, they last a long time and are great cars. I also love VW (I could totally see you in a Jetta).

    These bars are so pretty! And they sound SO good. :)

    • Can’t beat free cars! My Malibu was free and has been pretty good until it died, and now it’s just getting too old :| I love Jettas too but damn, I hate VWs after we got a BRAND NEW Passat and it was literally from the pits of hell. Awful car! I like your Toyota SUV!

  2. I would recommend an HHR. My daughter just bought her second one and had no $$ down either time. It’s so great on gas mileage and can haul around stuff while looking sporty – well sort of sporty. She drives 50 miles RT to work each day and only fills up once every 8 days – with gas so high that’s a plus. She put 120,000 miles on it before she had to have any work done. Traded in at 150,000. The rainbow bars look so great!!

  3. So, I can totally relate. We finally broke down and bought a new/different vehicle last summer (Chevy Equinox)–my husband was still driving my 1994 Saturn Coupe, which had like a bizillion miles on it and wasn’t always totally reliable. I know nothing about cars AT ALL. I have a Toyota (Corolla) and it gets great mileage, but it’s not “super cool.”

    These rainbow bars are super cool, though. I could eat the entire batch.

  4. Well I drive at Toyota and work for Toyota so I am definitely going to have to recommend Toyota. And seriously, I am not a stalker, but since you live near Dorothy and I live near Dorothy that means you live near me, so if you need help with cars, please let me know and I would love to help you out- even if it’s just to point you in the right direction. Promise not to be a scary car person. You help me in the kitchen so I am happy to help you with cars ;)

  5. Honda all the way! I loveee my honda, and it has over 200,000 miles on it! I’ve had a Cr-V and they are awesome(since you seem to like SUVS!) Im looking to upgrade to a tsx soon. But seriously, I have driven ALOT of cars (my boyfriend has a car buying addiction similar to a cocaine addicts need to buy, well cocaine…seriously he almost had to get a dealers license to keep from bring arrested…sigh.) and Hondas are totally the best out of all the vehicles we’ve owned. Check em out and let me know! Plus AWESOME gas mileage! (:

    • Wow, thanks Mindy! My mom had a 94 Accord and LOVED it. Only got rid of it because she had kiddos and it didn’t have the best space. But I tooootally fell in love with a brand spankin’ new Civic on the lot a few weeks ago and wanted it so bad! I need money first :) thanks for your recommendation and comment!!

      • You are very welcome! I hope you can get one!! They are such reliable and wonderful cars, I love anything Honda puts a badge on. lol

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