Let’s talk “weird” compliments for a sec.
I’m positive you’ve probably gotten one, and probably given one, too.
Often, they’re accidentally given (I’m assuming) because no one PLANS to be a bitch when they wake up, do they? (Don’t answer that honestly).
But sometimes, on the occasion you abandoned your nice panties in favor of some angry, bitchy underoos, there are times when these weird compliments are decidedly calculated and planned out.
Consider them the thong underwear of compliments. You know what you’re getting into when you say it, despite any discomfort, pain or the like. You are aware of the repercussions (and let’s be honest, there are some) yet you don’t care. You’re thongin’ it today and telling people rude stuff all sandwiched crazy-like.
For instance, the usual “You look tired today” weird compliment.
Usually, I *think* people mean it to be innocent–almost like they’re reaching out to you in a caring way like, “you look tired” which means you “ARE tired” which secretly means “I can relate to your tiredness because I, too, am tired or I was and know the feeling of having to do something when you’re tired.” Instead, it comes out kind of like this: “You look tired” with a secret, off-beat meaning of “you REALLY look tired. In the five seconds after I said that I noticed all of ten crusties in your eyes, a small trail of dried drool off your lower lip and you basically look like you got zero sleep last night on a bed of nails.”
Or there’s what I used to get when I had my crazy-dyed hair: “Your hair is awfully bright!” Usually from older folk or conservative peeps, I let it roll off my shoulders even though its secret meaning was more than likely: “Girl, you look like a blind four-year-old took paint in the middle of the night, molested your hair with rainbows and made you look inappropriate and improper in public. Also, where are your parents, you should be wearing a nun costume and not green hair.”
Since I ditched the colorful hair, I still wear the (outlandish) clothes. Anything Betsey Johnson is game in my book, and if I can throw in funky jewelry, sky-high platforms and my dresses twirl, even better.
Yet, in our community, Abercrombie, Gilly Hicks and Juicy Couture reign supreme. If you can spend the same amount of money on a single pair of jeans as you could an entire wardrobe for you, your husband and kids at H&M, then you’re golden ’round these parts. The shorter the shorts, flippier the flops and more orange you can be, even better.
Soooo here’s me, pale as a ghost, wearing lace tights and American Flag platform boots with necklaces janglin’ around my neck–the antithesis of the average girl on campus. And instead of just sneering and walking away, some feel the need to do the weird compliment.
“Well that’s an interesting outfit.” Or: “you certainly have an eclectic taste in clothes!”
Read: “why can’t you just throw on this sweatshirt from PINK and some ass-shorts from Abercrombie and be normal and orange like the rest of us? God, you look like a psychotic character from Alice in Wonderland and I may or may not be moderately frightened by your differences in appearance. Also, you look weird.”
While most of the time, my gut instinct is to react equally bitterly back to them: “awh, thanks SO kindly for telling me I look like crap. I’m so glad you felt the need to point out the bags under my eyes and the fact that I got about three hours of sleep last night. I figured since you brought it up I’d let you know, too, that you also look like you could use about seventy cups of coffee and probably a face lift. Have a great day!” but instead, I usually just smile, say “yep!” and walk away.
It’s the nice thing to do when people act weird.
I only wish people were nice to me when I acted weird, because that’d mean people would be nice to me 24/7. And perhaps they’d bake me these Samoas Cookie Cups because nice people bake weird people these cups. Fact.
What is a Samoas Cookie Cup? Well, I’m assuming since we’re friends you also have a love affair with Samoas cookies. And if I know anything about all you guys, is that you love peanut butter cups. Sooo I kinda took the idea of a PB cup but threw in a cookie and some toasted coconut and caramel because that’s what good friends do for one another. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Or the cookie cups will. Well, unless you don’t like food on your back in which case can we stop talking about this; something has turned awkward.
I’ll shut up now.
Samoas Cookie Cups
1 pkg chocolate almond bark
About 12 Vanilla Wafer cookies
1 pkg caramels, unwrapped
2 Tbsp milk
1 & 1/2 cups shredded coconut, toasted
Sea salt, for sprinkling
1. Line a muffin tin with 12 paper liners and set aside. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, microwave the almond bark according to package directions, stirring until smooth and melted.
2. Take about a Tablespoon of chocolate and spoon it into each muffin cup. Spread it along the sides of the muffin cup, about halfway up, and along the bottom evenly. Drop a cookie in the bottom of each cup. Repeat until all cups are filled and set the remaining chocolate aside for topping.
3. Melt the caramels, milk and a dash of salt in the microwave for about a minute. Stir, then zap for another 30 seconds or so until completely melted and smooth. Stir in the toasted coconut until combined.
4. Place a heaping Tablespoon or two of the caramel coconut mixture on top of each cookie cup. Repeat until all cups are topped with the caramel coconut mixture.
5. Lastly, take the remaining chocolate and spoon it over each filled cookie cup, ensuring the chocolate coats the tops and sides of the cookie cups, covering the mixture completely. Immediately sprinkle the tops of the coated cups with sea salt, if desired.
6. Place the cups in the fridge or freezer for about 30 minutes to harden the chocolate, then bring back to room temperature before eating. These keep for about 3 days when stored airtight at room temperature.
Reese’s PB Cups, watch your back. A new cup is in town and it is buttery, salty, sweet, and absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS. You know you wanna take a stroll down Samoas Cup lane. The Reese’s won’t mind one bit.
Have a wonderful day!
Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! to my amazing Grandpa Tom and to my amazing 6-year old baby boy, Mannie! Two of the sweetest men in my life–have an amazing day!