It appears I’m on a birthday cake rampage.
Yeah… about that.
I just have problems with obsessing, okay?!
Like when I obsessed about sequins and bought six different sequiny things I’ve yet to wear.
Like when I had Diet Coke after a looong (like YEARS) bout of ignoring the stuff and it tasted like a sweet, intoxicating nectar from the gods and I cannot. get. enough.
Like a few years ago when I discovered Betseyville purses and went on a freakish shopping craze where I literally ended up with over twenty of her purses. … that was an expensive obsession.
And now, like my obsession with cake battery goodness.
I promise I’ll taper off this obsession real quick and end up in a cake batter coma in some cake batter ditch somewhere soon. Then I’ll be like, “cake batter is so passe; the new thing is obviously custard” or something.
Though I never, ever hope the world EVER comes to obsess custard. Ew. It’s flabby and jiggly and thinking about it sends shudders down my spine. SHUDDERS, people. Food shouldn’t make you cry and custard is the bully of all the dessert world. The big, fat, ugly bully. Blech.
But I digress… and obsess… right now over cake batter.
It’s just so good.
It’s like the Diet Coke of sweets.
Sweet and delicious and wonderful and majestic.
Like if unicorns could dance across it, they would.
Like if rainbows could pop out from each bite, they would.
Like if I could only just find onemore! cool cake batter recipe, I would make it and eat it and obsess over it for another couple months.
You can’t let something so good get away, you know? You have to truly appreciate the things you love in life and NEVER take them for granted. My mom told me that a bunch growing up and while I’m pretty sure she was mostly referring to people and things I’m going to pretend she was talking about cake batter flavored sweets because I can’t handle mushy stuff.
Seriously? I’m the anti-mushy person. The least mushiest person ever. Kind of.
I mean, I tell people I love them and stuff but I can’t stand when people get super mushy on me.
It’s just… too much.
Plus, have you ever been praised and swooned so much at one time and you’re like, “uhhhh thaaaaaaanksss.” I mean, what do I say to people who are singing my praises? “Yeah, I know” or do I say some back or just stand there or think about cake batter-flavored things? ‘Cause I kind of do the last two and then feel bad.
People were totally professing their love to me and I just stood there and thought about cake.
I am so going to hell.
So in the name of avoiding awkward mushy conversations and embracing my latest obsession, let’s all get together and celebrate life, love and the pursuit of enjoying rich and uber-sweet desserts by eating some Birthday Cake Bark.
Enough of the mushy, pass me the bark.
3 squares milk chocolate almond bark (the brick has 12 squares in one package)
6 squares white chocolate almond bark (again, save the rest of the bark for another recipe, or double batch this stuff)
About 6 teaspoons yellow cake mix
*I also used vanilla sugar I got for Christmas from Duff Goldman’s sprinkle line at Michael’s craft stores. I liked the added crunch, plus the vanilla sugar enhanced the cake flavor. This is optional.
1. Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil and set the sheet aside.
2. In a medium bowl, heat the milk chocolate squares for one minute, then stir. Repeat, heating for 30 second increments, stirring after each round, to ensure even melting. Once chocolate has melted and is smooth, pour it in an even layer on the foil-lined baking sheet.
3. Next, in another medium bowl, microwave the white chocolate bark with the same heating instructions, careful not to burn the chocolate. Once melted and smooth, begin adding your cake mix ONE teaspoon at a time VERY SLOWLY. I divided my individual teaspoons into halves, so half of one teaspoon stirred in gently, then the other half, then repeated until I’d used 6 teaspoons of cake mix altogether. You want to add it slowly so the chocolate doesn’t begin to clump with the cake mix. Also, the flavor will begin to cook into the still-warm chocolate.
4. Once your cake mix is blended in, pour the white chocolate layer on top of the still-wet milk chocolate layer, spreading it evenly over the milk chocolate layer. Sprinkle immediately with rainbow sprinkles.
5. Place bark in the freezer to set and harden, about 20 minutes. Break into squares and store airtight.
Have a fabulous Wednesday!