Reindeer Drops

 

If you don’t like poop and cookies in the same post, leave now.

Have you left yet?

Okay. Those of you who stayed, you’re awesome. Moving on!

Let’s talk present etiquette. This goes without saying because of the whole big gift-giving-and-exchanging shindig in um, SIX DAYS!! (Seriously, where did the time go?! Not that I’m complaining… I have a bunch of presents signed to an ‘H’ under the tree.)

But some people just don’t understand gift-giving and/or receiving etiquette, so I decided to be nice and make this guide. See? Those presents under my tree for me? Totally deserved for my generous acts of charity.

1. If you’re not one of those overly enthusiastic present receivers, DON’T feel bad. Conversely, if you make people feel awkward for not getting excited, shut up. I say this because I’m the former, and it’s sooooper awkward when I’m opening gifts and I’ve said my “oh man, this is so awesome/cool/cute/pretty/neat; THANK YOU!” and put my present down and the giver says something like, “what, you don’t like it?/you don’t seem too excited…/wow, I thought you’d say more/look at Hayley, she’s onto the next present/you must not care” etc. No, in fact, that’s not the case at all, unless I’ve been gifted something awful like chewed-up earrings, which yes, I have been gifted, thanks for asking! It’s just that some people don’t act like crazed baboons on crack when we’re receiving gifts… and our simple comments and thank yous is all we need to say. Take it at face value; we’re truly appreciative–and move on. And if you’re like me, don’t channel your inner crazed baboon on crack. It’s never an attractive look.

2. Speaking of chewed-up earrings, if you’re going to gift something “used” or “vintage”, make sure it doesn’t look it. As I mentioned, I have been the (un)lucky recipient of chewed-up earrings gifted from a person whom I will not mention to protect the innocent. This is weird because 1) I do not have my ears pierced, nor have they been pierced for oh, fifteen years; and 2) like most stylish young women these days I’m not a huge fan of something previously owned, especially if said previously owned item was previously ingested, possibly digested, and more than likely regurgitated by a small chihuahua. If I had pierced ears, I’d buy my studs at Claire’s, not from the psycho cat lady down the street for 5 cents. There were BITE MARKS in the earrings, people. Keep your vintage; I’m going to Tiffany’s.

3. Also, if you’re regifting something, make sure you do it on the sly. Whenever I receive awkward presents from someone that I don’t care for, I’ll keep it discreet. That way I can (possibly) easily regift it if needed. If I go around telling everyone what so-and-so got me, it makes it harder to pass off that funky-smelling body lotion or dangly charm bracelet to another unsuspecting friend or relative who may appreciate something of that nature. And please, don’t regift things that have been personalized, like the book I once got with someone else’s name and holiday greeting written inside. I’m not Annie, and I do not want a Christmas wish from Grandma Dolores. This is weird.

4. Even if you HATE something, channel your inner Oscar-winning-monologue and fake that “thank you.” I’ve received plenty of awful gifts in my day (see #2) but I always pretend to be nice about those presents where you’re secretly thinking, “thanks, but really, you DIDN’T have to.” In the cases where I’ve received pants where the giver didn’t know if they were navy or black, or when I received a jewelry box with dirt in the inner corners (yup) I just fake it with a “oh, these are nice. Thank you” or “I really like the gold trim on this (dirty) jewelry box. You shouldn’t have.” Don’t go all crazed-crack baboon (see #1) because that instills to the giver that you actually LOVE jewelry boxes with dirt in them and encourages them to scour more sordid alleyway garage sales for more disgusting presents.

5. And if you have those people in your family who bring up presents-past whenever they get a chance, just pretend you know exactly what they’re talking about. Remember when I mentioned that wacko relative bunking in my bed a few weeks ago? Said relative happens to be one of those who will ask you about something she got you years ago and expect you to still have it. “Well of COURSE I still have that sparkly pink onesie you bought me for my six month birthday! I wear it on special occasions; did you even have to ask?!”

Ultimately, your relatives are probably just as crazy as mine and you’re probably bound to get one (or two, if you’re super lucky) awkward presents under that decked-out tree on the same awful scale as my regurged gold studs. But don’t worry–while you can’t return them for store credit, pass them off to your frenemy or wear them (you wouldn’t, would you?) you CAN laugh at the sometimes-awkwardness the holidays have to offer. Just don’t laugh like that crazed baboon… please. Don’t.

In the meantime, did you know reindeers poop? I don’t know why you wouldn’t know; it totally makes sense since they’re real-life animals and stuff. What, did you just think they held it in during their world-wide present-dropping rounds? I don’t think soooo..

My mom informed me (yesterday) that she’s a huge fan of these cookies, usually known as Chinese Chews. They’re unique cookies made with chow mein noodles, which you can find at your local supermarket in the Asian foods aisle. You mix the noodles with melted chocolate, peanut butter, butterscotch chips… you name it. I decided to call these Reindeer Drops because they’re festive, thanks to the Christmas-y M&M’s I sprinkled in and on top of them. And they’re no bake and a cinch to whip up, so you’ll have plenty of time to craft your perfect response when you get a weirdo present.

Got your game face ready? Good.

Ready to eat something I named after poop? Whatevz, it’s all in good fun. And I gave you the chance to bail out, so it’s too late now.

Reindeer Drops

1/2 cup chunky peanut butter
1 cup butterscotch chips
1 cup chocolate chips
2 cups chow mein noodles
2 cups Christmas M&M’s (you could also sub Christmas peanut butter M&M’s which I mysteriously could not find but originally wanted)

1. Lay wax paper in a single layer on baking sheets or a flat surface, like your counter.
2. In a large saucepan, bring together the peanut butter and both chips and melt over low heat, stirring constantly to prevent burning. Once PB and chips have melted, stir in the chow mein noodles and one cup of the M&M’s, tossing to coat completely.
3. Using your greased hands (honestly, it works the best) drop small handfuls of the melted noodle mixture onto the wax paper, regreasing your hands if necessary (this is a totally sticky messy process, btw). Immediately sprinkle remaining M&M candies on top for a pretty look. Allow these to harden and set up, about 1 hour. Store in an airtight container.

I’m loving the sweet-yet-salty butterscotch-y crunch these cookies have, and the red & green M&M’s make them extra pretty and less, well… you know.

I hope you all have an awesome Monday!

xo, Hayley

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Comments

  1. My mom made these last year with a very similar recipe. They’re delicious. Also, I hope I’m not being a creeper by posting on your site too much. Cause I’m def not a creeper, promise. =) But honestly I think you are one of the few people I’ve seen so far that is actually as excited for Christmas as I am..Everyone is like yah, yah, Christmas, Christmas, blah, blah, blah. I’m not even ready…blah blah. Ugh It kills me. But yes, my main reason for commenting. I thought last year I had recieved the lamest gift ever, but yours has most definitely surpassed mine. I had recieved socks with horses on them, that you color. You know for like a 5 year old. But gross, I’m with you on going to Tiffany’s. A chewed up gift isn’t even a gift I’d give to an enemy…well atleast I don’t think.

  2. OMG, you can never be too creepy around here! Well… okay, technically I suppose you could… you don’t wear cheap cologne and hang out around elementary schools, do you? I only kid 🙂
    That aside, I love your comments! You’re super sweet and I like that you’re also stoked for Christmas like me. I agree–people are such downers around this time of year and complain about the music and the lines and blah blah but HELLO, we weren’t born yesterday and we all know Christmas is like, the busiest time of year for malls and stuff and every year it falls on the 25th so I don’t know why people get all butt-hurt about it “fast approaching” or procrastinate. You have like, 364 days to shop for this ONE DAY. Get on with it!
    (We should buy complainers color-on horse socks. Or my dad, because he loves socks and would probably love those)

  3. Ok well awesome! Ha I definitely don’t hang around elementary schools with cheap cologne on. Oh and what that made me think of is: Since it’s hectic now and all the old people are out (I swear I live around sooo many olf people 90% of the freaking population..not really but yah) There is so much old lady perfume in the air I swear I’m going to choke and die. But anywho I’m glad you like my comment, I’m currently unemployed so it gives me something to do that’s for sure. And yes! I agree! Christmas comes so fast it seems and everyone (including ALL completely stupid drivers) feels the need to panic and act like it has never been Christmas before. I just go with the flow theres no point in getting angry really…ok that’s def a lie I get angry a lot at all these stupid drivers. But I’m not freaking out cause theres only a few days left till Christmas. My dad is a huge procrastinator, last year he did all his shopping the day before Christmas Eve..That’s just insane to me, I’ve been christmas shopping since November. And yes seriously, those stupid socks. It seems like someone gave them to my aunt and she didn’t know what to do so she gave them to me. And my dad is completely obsessed with socks, he buys them everytime he goes to the mall. Oh my this is super long sorry ha…eh I’m a girl I get chit chatty ha

  4. Ah yes, old lady perfume… how come it all smells the same?
    And it does feel great to be done with shopping! If I didn’t work at the mall I’d stay far far away, bunkered at home, until after Christmas… but alas, I deal with the crazies everyday. C’est la vie!

  5. Not only does it smell the same, it’s entirely way too strong. Yes, it does feel great. I would imagine the mall, and walmart have to be some of the worst places to work at around the holidays. Oh yah, and a toy store.

  6. Uuugh, I don’t even wanna THINK about Walmart right now! It’s bad enough when I go at 7am every Friday to do my grocery shopping–at SEVEN AM. I can’t even look Walmart in the eye past 9am…

  7. Yah me either, that place is such a nightmare because I swear everyone that is a total idiot goes there at the same time everyday. Atleast where I live anyways. I don’t understand how people think at the holidays. It’s like they go into panic mode. I avoid that place at all costs.

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