This, oddly, is becoming more and more prominent after my teenage years.
I guess I thought it would be really obvious when I was actually a teenager, thrown in the world of experimental party drugs, sneaking out at midnight and shoplifting earrings from Claire’s but I never really entered that world and therefore, just stayed at home all the time and wished I lived in the Delia’s catalogs.
Maybe I’ve mentioned this before, but I was the misfit in high school. Perma-crazily-dyed hair kept me isolated from popular people who were most likely being offered drugs and going to parties, things of which I never participated in because I was never offered or invited. I also had friends who’d sneak out, but having no real friends to speak of, that eliminated the need to sneak out to do absolutely nothing (also my parents have like, crazy hearing abilities, so that’d never work). And I never, ever shoplifted, because one time when I was six or so, I stole a ball from the McDonald’s ball pit and my mom forced me to stand in line and return it to the teenage chick behind the counter. She looked at me like I was possessed but I returned it, along with any ounce of rebellion to steal anything again, and therefore, never hopped on that train to five-finger discounts.
One time, when my teenage boyfriend got me reallysuperduperend-of-the-world angry, I decided I would take up drinking because that’s what angsty fifteen year old girls do.
I stormed into my kitchen, tears streaming down my face, yanked open the cupboard and grabbed the first liquor I could find: Absolut Lemon vodka, and dove headfirst into impending alcoholism right then and there by taking the teeniest, tiniest, most tentative sip ever taken by any human being known to man.
It was awful.
I took another sip, this time determined to catch some kind of buzz from barely allowing vodka to enter my sealed-shut lips. You can totally get drunk off like, two baby sips of vodka, right?
Yeah, no, it still tasted like shit. So I put it away, and spoiler alert, my alcohol addiction never grew and that pimply-faced loosah and I broke up. He probably couldn’t handle my alcoholic ways, anyway.
Then there were those times friends would divulge information that they got “soooo high” last night or took “waaaay too many pills.” Scared to death after my mom made threats that I’d end up like my toothless, meth-addicted relative, I was too spooked to actually try something illegal and scary. So one time I took an extra-heavy sip of DayQuil, but didn’t feel anything. That ended my experimental drug days.
And one time, I thought about looting Forever 21, but while I was pondering my morals over some fugly shirt Teenage Hayley liked, I noticed a bunch of sales associates looking my way and I began to feel like suddenly these people could read my mind. Like any second they would come sprinting toward me, beating sticks drawn, hackles raised, and would book me on suspicion of shoplifting. I was so frightened they knew what I was going to do that I put the ugly shirt down and raced to check-out to buy some $1 lipgloss or something; a guilty purchase for my even thinking about stealing. I also remembered my McDonald’s play-place days and found myself mortified for even considering stealing something. My stealing days began and ended with a fateful McDonald’s plastic ball, probably riddled with germs, but was safely returned to its ball pit where another child could urinate on it.
Hence where I am now, an adult (age-wise) seeing tons of people I know (older and younger) still going all out in the bad-kid department. And I’m like, wow, I’m really old. Because none of this stuff interests me. And being the annoying teenager who complains about how hungover she is or the pimply dude who screams about how much he hates his Mom all over Facebook is just annoying.
Why can’t more teenagers and young adults be good like me?
Good people are fun, contrary to popular belief. We don’t have hangovers (that’s fun!!). We don’t get arrested (that’s even more fun!). And we don’t lose brain cells by doing weird club drugs (we just lose them by watching The Real Housewives but that’s different).
All this talk about good things made me think of two good things sandwiched together to make one really good thing. Or one really bad thing, if you think like that. (Can two goods equal a bad? Chat amongst yourselves)
So I thought, why not bake an Oreo cookie into a brownie? It’d be like an Oreo-cookie brownie sandwich. That’s really, really good.
I spotted this idea over at Picky Palate and thought it was too cute not to bake up. These brownie cakes would be perfect for holiday gifts–just tie a couple up with a fancy ribbon and you’re good to go!! You could also experiment with different flavors, like using peppermint Oreos in place for a more Christmas-y treat, the orange cream Oreos for a yummy orange-and-chocolate combination, or colored Oreos for birthday parties. I’d like to know what the golden Oreos taste like in between brownies… maybe I’ll have to be bad and find out.
Oreo-Stuffed Brownie Cakes *as inspired by Picky Palate’s Oreo Stuffed Brownies
1 box brownie mix, plus ingredients on back of box
1 pkg Oreos
White chocolate, for drizzling
Sprinkles, non-pareils, jimmies… whatever!
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Generously spray 2 muffin pans with cooking spray; set aside.
2. Prepare your brownies according to package directions. Leave the mix in your mixing bowl! It’s the “dip” for the Oreos.
3. Take one Oreo cookie and plop it into the brownie batter. Carefully turn the cookie over using a fork to coat it completely. Use the fork to remove the cookie from the batter, allowing the excess to drip off, if needed. Place the Oreo into one of the greased cavities of your muffin tin. Repeat, using all the Oreos or until your muffin tins are full.
4. Bake for about 10-13 minutes or until the brownie cakes are done. Immediately after removing from oven, run a knife along the edge of the brownie cakes. This will make it easier to remove the brownie cakes once they’re cooled and will prevent your brownie cake from sticking inside the pan! Allow the loosened brownie cakes to sit in pans for about 5 minutes, then carefully remove with the knife onto a wire rack to cool completely. Drizzle with white chocolate if desired, and sprinkle with festive sprinkles or non-pareils.
A brownie sandwiching an Oreo cookie. Trust me, it isn’t too good to be true or else I’d be a dirty liar and therefore not a good girl. Duh.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend is in the process of building a new computer for himself–yay!–but that means no videos until it’s complete–boo! However I’ll still provide an AWESOME personal pumpkin pie tutorial this week, pictures and all, in place of a video. Thanks so much to everyone who watches my videos and reads my post each day and week. You’re the best!!